AllPaths Podcast

AllPaths Family Building

Building a family can be a complicated, messy, lonely, and sometimes heartbreaking process, but you don't have to navigate this challenging journey alone.

Join the AllPaths Family Building community as we talk with people who are currently trying to grow their family, those whose family building journey has come to an end, and experts in the fertility and family building space.

Together we'll:

*Hear family stories, providing real-life perspectives that highlight the many different paths a family building journey can take.

*Explore different fertility treatments and family building options with experts in this space.

*Get connected to a variety of supportive resources so you feel better equipped to tackle any challenges that may arise in your family building journey.

*Learn about ongoing advocacy work that promotes access to fertility care and family building options - and you can get involved.

No matter what you encounter on your journey - struggles while TTC, IUI, IVF, donor conception, surrogacy, adoption, pregnancy loss, pregnancy and parenting after, or remaining childless not by choice - the real-life insights from people who have traveled those paths can provide connection, comfort, and hope.

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26 episodes
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English

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S1 · E100
Tuesday · 53 min
“We’re just two people who wanted to have a baby”: A Conversation with America’s First IVF Mom
In this milestone 100th episode of the AllPaths podcast, hosts Emily and Lauren welcome Judy Carr, the first mother through IVF in the United States. Judy shares the story of her pioneering path to parenthood in the 1980s, which began with three ectopic pregnancies resulting in the loss of her fallopian tubes. After receiving a pamphlet about a new clinic attempting to help people with fertility problems from her OB-GYN, Judy and her husband traveled to Virginia to consult with Dr. Howard Jones and Dr. Georgiana Jones. What followed that initial consult was a pioneering, highly personalized treatment plan that included the first hormonal stimulation protocol for fertility patients. And while some injections and blood draws could be done in Judy’s home state of Massachusetts, the bulk of her treatment had to be done at Drs. Jones’s clinic in Virginia because IVF was banned in MA at the time as "fetal experimentation." Judy’s first cycle resulted in two eggs, but only one was viable. That single egg was fertilized and transferred, coincidentally on Judy's birthday. After remaining at the clinic for a few days of monitoring, she was sent home with Dr. Georgiana Jones's memorable advice: "go home and don't you get your period." Thankfully she didn’t and that egg became America’s first IVF baby. Judy reflects on the intense historical interest surrounding her daughter's birth, from the secretive hospital plans dubbed "Operation Santa Claus" to the press conference held when Elizabeth was just three days old. She discusses the life-long bond she had with Drs. Jones, a follow-up study that debunked myths about IVF children's intelligence, and how a libel lawsuit against a newspaper resulted in funds to build a new clinic. Comparing early IVF practices to modern reproductive medicine, Judy highlights game-changing developments like embryo freezing, while cautioning against the loss of personalized care and doctor-patient relationships that can sometimes occur in today's protocol-driven clinics. Offering advice for individuals currently navigating fertility journeys, Judy highlights the emotional resilience required for family building, the importance of community support, and the ongoing need for insurance reform and public advocacy, emphasizing that accessible, compassionate care is essential for anyone who is trying to build the family of their dreams. TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE: Infertility, fertility treatment, fertility care, Judy Carr, America’s first IVF mom, IVF mom, Judy Carr interview, Elizabeth Carr, first IVF baby in the United States, history of IVF in the United States, early IVF pioneers Drs. Howard and Georgiana Jones, access to care, legal and political barriers to fertility treatment in the 1980s, Operation Santa Claus, IVF success stories, IVF pregnancy experience, infertility support and advocacy, family building after infertility, ectopic pregnancy and fertility, IVF emotional support and mental health, embryo freezing and egg freezing, advances in reproductive technology, IVF insurance and coverage, IVF patient-centered care, IVF stigma and public perception, AllPaths podcast 100th episode, early US vs. UK IVF protocols, how IVF works hormone protocols Pergonal, IVF ethical and legal history, infertility resources and peer support, tips for preparing for IVF, doctor-patient relationship CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org Follow us on social media @allpathsfb Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at podcast@allpathsfb.org!
- Transcript
S1 · E99
September 8 · 48 min
Challenge Accepted: Building a Global PCOS/PMOS Movement
When Sasha Ottey was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (recently renamed PMOS, or Polyendocrine Metabolic Ovarian Syndrome) in 2008, her doctor handed her a brief pamphlet and told her not to worry about her irregular cycles, just to “come back when she wanted to get pregnant.” Feeling that her concerns weren’t being taken seriously, Sasha began researching and soon discovered that she was one of millions around the world with PCOS/PMOS, a diagnosis that wasn’t even listed on the National Institute of Health's list of diseases and conditions. Refusing to accept the status quo, Sasha went on to found PCOS Challenge: The National Polycystic Ovary Syndrome Association, building a powerhouse of global support and legislative advocacy for the community. Despite dedicating her life to supporting others through their diagnoses and the lifelong impacts of the condition, Sasha found her own family building journey to be a lonely one when she decided to try to grow her family in her late 30s. She opens up about the vulnerability of undergoing a major myomectomy to remove 10 fibroids in 2020, followed by an aggressive IVF protocol. Given just a 20% chance of success, Sasha beat the odds on her first attempt and is now the mother of a thriving four-year-old girl. Through it all, PCOS Challenge has made enormous strides over the years, from successfully lobbying the NIH to list the condition to getting September unanimously designated as PCOS Awareness Month, which helped increase federal research funding by nearly 50%. Sasha also provides a candid look at the controversial renaming of the condition to PMOS and previews the upcoming PCOS/PMOS Awareness Symposium, taking place in Boston on September 19th. This full-day program, co-hosted by Mass General Brigham, brings together patients, supporters, healthcare professionals, researchers, leading PCOS/PMOS experts, and patient advocates for education and dialogue focused on improving care, treatment, research, and access. This year’s Symposium features specialized patient tracks including Spanish-language sessions and an adolescent-led policy lab designed to empower the next generation to use their voices and drive real change. To connect with PCOS Challenge, visit https://pcoschallenge.org/ and register for the upcoming Symposium at https://pcoschallenge.org/symposium/boston/. TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE: PCOS, Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, PMOS, Polyendocrine Metabolic Ovarian Syndrome, preventative health care, reproductive health care, fibroids, uterine fibroids, myomectomy, IVF, maternal near miss, postpartum depression, mental health, body image, depression, anxiety, PCOS Challenge, Sasha Ottey, menstrual health, insulin resistance, metabolic issues, pre-diabetes, diabetes, cardiovascular disease, endometrial cancer, cancer risk, PCOS Advocacy, patient advocacy, patient-centered research, research funding, GLP-1s, advocacy, PCOS Awareness Month, PMOS Awareness Month, PCOS/PMOS Awareness Symposium CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org Follow us on social media @allpathsfb Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at podcast@allpathsfb.org!
- Transcript
S1 · E98
September 1 · 37 min
The “Funky Chromosome” Bedtime Story
In this episode, we sit down with Kelsey Reynolds, a Board-Certified Reproductive Genetic Counselor with a unique entry into the field. Inspired by her own parents' decade-long journey with infertility and her mother’s bedtime stories explaining their family's inherited chromosomal translocation as simply a "funky chromosome," Kelsey’s career path led her to helping families navigate the complexities of genetic testing during conception, pregnancy, and parenting. The conversation unpacks the clinical realities of Pre-implantation Genetic Testing (PGT) during IVF, detailing the differences between available screenings and addressing one of the most painful and frequent questions faced by the fertility community: how pregnancy loss can still occur even after embryos have been genetically tested. She gently explains that while PGT is an incredibly powerful screening tool, it is not a 100% guarantee, highlighting the vital need for both patients and providers to balance hope with realistic expectations. Looking ahead, Kelsey highlights exciting, rapid advancements in prenatal screening, such as non-invasive blood tests for single-gene conditions and personalized therapies that can treat genetic conditions like cystic fibrosis during pregnancy. She offers practical advice on how patients can prepare for a genetic counseling appointment to make the most of their time, and shares valuable community resources like the Undiagnosed Disease Network that can guide and support families who are navigating rare diseases while trying to conceive and beyond. Finally, the hosts and Kelsey invite listeners to join them at the upcoming Footsteps for Family Building Walk in October. Driven by her passion for equity in healthcare, Kelsey is walking to support AllPaths' vital work in making family building options more accessible and to help raise the awareness and funding needed to continue to support the fertility and family building community. TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE: Fertility treatment, IVF, family building, genetic counseling, reproductive health, infertility support, IVF process, preconception genetic testing, embryo genetic testing, Pre-implantation Genetic Testing (PGT), PGT testing, carrier screening, genetic testing options, pregnancy loss, PGT-A, PGT-SR, emotional support for families, navigating infertility, reproductive genetic counselor, family planning resources, pregnancy journey, genetic conditions, genetic testing for embryos, support for parents, community support, rare disease support, Footsteps for Family Building Walk CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org Follow us on social media @allpathsfb Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at podcast@allpathsfb.org!
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S1 · E97
August 25 · 46 min
Building a Bigger Table
Content Warning: Please note that this conversation includes discussions of domestic violence and child abuse. Take care of yourself while listening and see below for helpful support resources. Every child deserves a foundation of unconditional love, a truth that Comfort Cases founder Rob Scheer learned firsthand after surviving a broken foster care system to build a beautiful family of his own. In this episode, Rob shares his deeply moving personal journey of entering the foster care system at age 12 and aging out at 18 with little more than a trash bag of belongings. He opens up about his childhood trauma, confronting severe parental and foster abuse, and how his path toward mental-health healing through therapy became the foundation for the compassionate, purpose-driven life he leads today. Rob recounts how he and his husband, Reece, built their family by adopting five children through the same system. He details the sudden, overwhelming transition of bringing four young children under the age of four into their home within three months, navigating discrimination during the application process, and fighting an intense legal battle to finalize their adoptions. Rob also shares the story of welcoming their fifth son, Alex, who joined the family as an 18-year-old facing homelessness, embodying Rob’s drive to ensure there’s room for everyone at his table. The discussion also explores the origin of Comfort Cases and how a simple family discussion about empathy led to a massive volunteer-led effort that replaces trash bags with dignified, essential-filled backpacks. Today, the 96% volunteer-run organization has delivered more than 360,000 backpacks and duffels filled with pajamas, toiletries, and comforting items to youth in care across all 50 states, D.C., and Puerto Rico. This episode is a powerful testament to resilience, the necessity of communal investment in the future of foster youth, and the truth that it is never too late to give a young person the unconditional support and love they deserve. Learn more about Comfort Cases and get involved at comfortcases.org. National Domestic Violence Hotline Call 800-799-7233 Text “BEGIN” to 88788 Live Chat Website Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline Call 800-422-2253 Text “GO” to 800-422-4453 Live Chat Website TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE: family building, adoption from foster care, public adoption, foster care, adoption journey, foster care awareness, parenting advice, domestic violence support, child abuse discussion, mental health in parenting, resources for parents, nonprofit organizations for families, emotional support for parents, LGBTQ+ parenting, parenting through trauma, raising multiracial families, empathy in parenting, unconditional love in families, community support for families, child welfare education, Rob Scheer, Comfort Cases, Comfort Cases nonprofit, stories of resilience, mental health and parenting CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org Follow us on social media @allpathsfb Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at podcast@allpathsfb.org!
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S1 · E96
August 18 · 45 min
Don't Be An Athena
In this episode of the AllPaths Podcast, we welcome Kayla Branstetter, an educator and author, to share her personal journey through unexplained infertility and miscarriage. Currently pursuing a doctorate in healthcare with a focus on narrative medicine, Kayla shares how her experiences and the subsequent "masking" of her grief led her to go public with her story to combat the societal judgment that often surrounds family building, from when and how someone has children to the size of their family and the parenting choices they make. Drawing on her research in narrative medicine, she explores how storytelling can dissolve shame and create vital connections. The discussion turns to Kayla’s new book, Don't Be an Athena, which examines the historical and systemic issues of medical gaslighting and misogyny. Throughout the book, Kayla highlights the critical need for self-advocacy, exposing the historical and systemic minimization of women's health with a range of personal and interviewed stories from the 1950s to today. She explains the book's central metaphor, the myth of Athena and Medusa, to illustrate how society often demonizes victims instead of empowering survivors through visibility, resources, and validation. Finally, Kayla offers practical wisdom for navigating the "noise" of family building, emphasizing that partners should protect their family unit and make decisions based on their own physical and mental health rather than external expectations. For those supporting friends or family, she stresses the importance of providing a safe, "listening ear" free from unsolicited advice. This episode serves as a powerful resource for anyone feeling invisible in their struggle, offering a message of empowerment, survival, and advocacy. Get your copy of Don’t Be an Athena through the AllPaths Bookshop here and a portion of your purchase supports our mission at no extra cost to you! A special thank you to CCRM Fertility of Boston for sponsoring this episode and for their support and commitment to the AllPaths community. TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE: Kayla Branstetter, Don’t Be an Athena, unexplained infertility, miscarriage, loss, PMADs after loss, blocked fallopian tube, rainbow baby, grief, depression, disordered eating, relationships and infertility, relationships and grief, mental health support, journaling, processing grief, family building, infertility journey, miscarriage support, parenting challenges, navigating pregnancy, emotional support for parents, fertility treatments, personal stories of motherhood, advocacy for women, reproductive health education, community support for families, LGBTQIA family building, awareness of postpartum depression, stories of hope in parenting, understanding infertility, challenges of motherhood, resources for women, fertility education, empowerment in family planning, medical gaslighting, reproductive trauma CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org Follow us on social media @allpathsfb Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at podcast@allpathsfb.org!
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S1 · E95
August 11 · 54 min
“Love makes a family, but DNA makes a person.”
In this episode, licensed social worker and founder of Beyond the Cradle Consulting Max Tang shares their experience as a donor-conceived person and their advocacy work to improve outcomes for donor-conceived people, donors, & parents. Max, a biracial, egg donor-conceived person from a monoracial Chinese American family, first discovered their origins during middle school when their parents revealed that they and their twin brother were conceived using a white egg donor. This revelation sparked years of identity confusion and grief, as Max struggled to reconcile their internal identity as a Chinese American with the world’s perception of their appearance and the medical system’s lack of transparency. The conversation continues through Max’s later journey of self-discovery, which was influenced by the rise of anti-Asian hate during the pandemic and led to a decision to take a DNA test that unexpectedly resulted in a connection with their biological mother. This meeting debunked long-held myths about the donor and helped Max see the family resemblance that they’d always struggled to find with their parents. This personal evolution "radicalized" Max in a positive way, leading them to facilitate peer support groups for BIPOC and multiracial donor-conceived adults and to advocate for a more human-centered, transparent approach within the fertility industry. Through Beyond the Cradle Consulting, Max is now dedicated to ensuring that donor conception is treated as a lifelong journey rather than a one-time medical event. Creating resources and providing opportunities for connection that prioritize the long-term well-being of all parties involved in the donor conception process, Max offers invaluable advice about the importance of early disclosure, maintaining openness and curiosity when it comes to preferred terms and relationships with genetic relatives, and emphasizing the dual truths that "love makes a family, but DNA makes a person" and "love may not see color, but the world does." Connect with Max at https://www.beyondthecradle.org/ and @beyondthecradle on Instagram, LinkedIn, and Substack. TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE: Donor conceived, donor conception, donor egg, transracial donor conception, multicultural donor conceived person, Biracial egg donor conceived person, donor conceived person (DCP), therapist, social worker, Max Tang, Beyond the Cradle Consulting, US donor conceived council, family building, donor conceived, egg donor, multiracial identity, family support, parenting through donor conception, identity discovery, DNA testing, donor siblings, donor support groups, mental health for donor conceived people, donor conceived community, family medical history, navigating donor conception, racial identity, Identity development in donor conceived people, identity formation, donor conceived resources, donor conception best practices, advocacy CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org Follow us on social media @allpathsfb Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at podcast@allpathsfb.org!
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S1 · E94
August 4 · 43 min
It’s OK To Be Human
This episode of the AllPaths podcast features Kallie Chausse, a baker and photographer, to discuss her journey to parenthood. After marrying the boy next door in her early 20s and trying to conceive without success, Kallie discovered at the age of 24 that she had the egg count of a woman in her 50s. This diagnosis launched her into the world of IUI treatments and strict hormonal monitoring. After a devastating first failure, Kallie successfully conceived her daughter Violet, though she candidly discusses the traumatic birth and postpartum depression that followed, which she believes were tied to "lingering infertility emotions" she hadn't yet processed. The arrival of the COVID-19 pandemic added a layer of complexity to Kallie's attempt for a second child, forcing her to navigate fertility treatments in isolation and manage stressful insurance delays that nearly canceled the cycle that ultimately led to her daughter Ivy. Kallie reflects on the "tunnel vision" of treatment and the intense pressure she felt to be the "perfect employee" while juggling medical appointments and the mental load of early motherhood. Through these challenges, she found strength in a supportive nurse and a growing online community of others who understood her "silent struggles," eventually leading her to let go of the shame she once felt. Now an AllPaths Walk Ambassador, Kallie uses her experience to advocate for others, encouraging those in the trenches of fertility treatment and parenting after infertility to honor their feelings and seek validation and community support. TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE: Fertility testing, infertility, fertility treatment, Clomid, IUI, irregular periods, reproductive health, diminished ovarian reserve (DOR), postpartum depression, parenting after infertility, community support, validation, fertility insurance, parental leave, AllPaths Family Building, Footsteps for Family Building Walk, family building support, emotional support for parents, infertility journey, coping with infertility, IUI process, family building community, navigating fertility challenges, fertility specialist consultation, egg count concerns, seeking emotional support, mental health during pregnancy, balancing work and family, fertility treatment experiences, support for new parents, listening and validating emotions, supportive friends during infertility CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org Follow us on social media @allpathsfb Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at podcast@allpathsfb.org!
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S1 · E93
July 28 · 43 min
"If I just get up and take a shower, I've done something today."
In this episode of the AllPaths podcast, we sit down with Jen Rogalski, Assistant Director of Empty Arms Bereavement Support, to discuss her journey through late-term pregnancy loss and her subsequent path to healing. Jen shares the heartbreaking story of losing her first son, Baby R, at 37 weeks after noticing decreased fetal movement. She describes the "robotic" days following the diagnosis, the challenges of navigating a loss after the initial swell of support passed, and the vital role that peer support from Empty Arms played in helping her and her husband, Eric, through the depths of grief. Now parenting a living son, two-year-old Drew, Jen shares how she used the Count the Kicks app during that pregnancy to monitor fetal movement, which provided her with a sense of empowerment and security by giving her tangible data and how the Empty Arms community continued to provide support as she navigated pregnancy and parenting after loss. Jen’s personal experience also prompted a major career shift. After Drew’s birth, she began working for the organization that had provided such a lifeline for her, helping expand Empty Arms’ support services by creating regional "hubs" and developing bereavement resource bags for local hospitals, with items designed to provide immediate practical and emotional comfort as well as connection to the community so that other parents aren't left to find help on their own as she once was. Beyond local support, Jen is also a passionate advocate for stillbirth prevention. She has traveled to Washington, D.C., to speak with legislators about prevention measures and frequently shares her story to encourage others to find a voice for their own experiences. Her work aims to bridge the gap between medical trauma and community healing, ensuring no parent feels they are "floating on a pool raft" alone. Throughout the conversation, Jen offers poignant advice for those starting their family-building journeys and for friends looking to support someone through loss. She emphasizes the power of consistent check-ins, sharing how a simple daily text message from a family member for an entire year provided a necessary lifeline during her darkest days. By speaking openly about her experience and transition from a grieving parent to a leader at Empty Arms, Jen’s story underscores the vital link between community support and healing, showing how peer connections can transform the isolation of loss into a shared journey of recovery. Connect with Empty Arms at https://www.emptyarmsbereavement.org/. Learn more about Count the Kicks and download the app at https://countthekicks.org/. TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE: Pregnancy loss, late-term pregnancy loss, placental health, placental abnormalities, medical trauma, bereaved parents, community support, peer support, family building support, coping with pregnancy loss, stillbirth awareness, parenting after loss, grief support for parents, family building resources, emotional support for parents, navigating grief, nonprofit family support, bereavement support groups, advocacy for stillbirth prevention, Count the Kicks, pregnancy after loss, community support for parents, peer support for grieving parents, mental health after loss, connecting with bereaved parents, understanding pregnancy complications, grief, loss, peer support, peer support groups, Empty Arms Bereavement Support CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org Follow us on social media @allpathsfb Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at podcast@allpathsfb.org!
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S1 · E92
July 21 · 52 min
Sarah and IVF Babe
In this episode of the AllPaths podcast, we sit down with Sarah Weiss, a New Jersey native who began documenting her family-building journey on day one on her social media. Sarah discusses the early days of her marriage in 2023 when she and her husband were diagnosed with male factor infertility after just three months of trying, a discovery made possible by a proactive OB-GYN who suggested also testing the male partner at the start. What Sarah initially expected to be a straightforward IVF process turned into a much longer journey with two egg retrievals and three frozen embryo transfers before the birth of her miracle, Mia. Sarah shares the emotional toll of failed cycles, the "dark place" of feeling hopeless despite doing everything "right," and navigating the compounding grief of multiple setbacks. Beyond the medical logistics, Sarah reflects on the duality of maintaining her business and relationships while her fertility journey felt like a "hot mess express." Documenting her experiences on social media provided a vital sense of community and helped her process the emotional toll of failed cycles, support which has continued as the conversation has shifted to Sarah’s transition into motherhood and the reality of the “survivors guilt” and anxiety that often accompany pregnancy and parenting after infertility. Contemplating being “won and done,” Sarah emphasizes the importance of self-advocacy and allowing space for both grief and joy during difficult times for whatever lies ahead. Connect with Sarah on Instagram @sarah.and.babes and TikTok @sarahandbabes. TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE: Male-factor infertility, PCOS, PMOS, infertility, resentment, validation, community support, IVF, egg retrieval, genetic testing, embryo transfer, online community, pregnancy after infertility, anxiety, perinatal anxiety, family goals, won and done, one and done, remaining embryos, mental health support, bodily autonomy, self-advocacy, scheduled c-section, parenting after infertility, survivor’s guilt, relationships, isolation, friendship, family building, infertility support, IVF journey, male factor infertility, trying to conceive, TTC, fertility clinic, social media and infertility, emotional support during IVF, supportive friends during infertility, navigating fertility treatments, community support for infertility, documenting fertility journey, advocacy in fertility care, overcoming infertility challenges, parenting after infertility, survivor's guilt in infertility, sharing pregnancy journey, mental health and fertility CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org Follow us on social media @allpathsfb Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at podcast@allpathsfb.org!
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S1 · E91
July 14 · 56 min
From "The Girl with Bad Periods" to “Chief Hope Officer”
This episode of the AllPaths Podcast features women's health advocate La-Anna Douglas. La-Anna shares the complex story of her 16-year journey through infertility, which began with excruciating menstrual cycles in her teenage years that were often dismissed by medical professionals who simply labeled her the "girl with bad periods". After years of being "shut down" by doctors, a series of persistent self-advocacy efforts and fertility testing revealed a rare anatomical reality: La-Anna has two uteruses, two cervixes, endometriosis, and fibroids. La-Anna candidly details the immense emotional and financial strain of her path, including a painful and failed IVF cycle that cost the couple over $12,000 out of pocket. She speaks openly about her lowest point of despair and how she found healing through the unwavering support of her husband, who affirmed his love for her "with or without children." Her story ultimately leads to the joy of two "miracle" daughters born nine years apart, both conceived spontaneously to everyone’s shock. Beyond her personal story, La-Anna discusses her transformation from someone "suffering in silence" to a bold reproductive health advocate who has shared her testimony on global platforms and even testified before Congress. She offers vital advice on the importance of self-advocacy, learning medical terminology to better communicate with doctors, and prioritizing self-care. This episode serves as a powerful testament to resilience, reminding listeners that their worth is inherent and that even in the most challenging family-building journeys, hope still stands. Connect with La-Anna on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/hopestillstands/. TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE: Infertility, fertility testing, hysterosalpingogram (HSG), uterus didelphys, endometriosis, IVF, financial burden of infertility, secondary infertility, fibroids, endometriosis, robotic laparoscopic myomectomy, secondary infertility, Hope Still Stands, advocacy, self-advocacy, hope, relationships and infertility, reproductive health, women’s health advocacy, reproductive healthcare, patient advocacy, empowerment, mental health, family building, infertility support, reproductive health issues, double uterus, endometriosis awareness, IVF journey, Clomid treatment, self-advocacy in healthcare, emotional support for infertility, hope in family planning, navigating fertility challenges, community support for women, overcoming infertility struggles, personal fertility stories, health empowerment for women, coping with infertility, fertility treatments explained, mental health and infertility CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org Follow us on social media @allpathsfb Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at podcast@allpathsfb.org!
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S1 · E90
July 7 · 43 min
Rewriting the Mother Code
In this episode of the AllPaths Podcast, we sit down with journalist and author Ruthie Ackerman to discuss her memoir, The Mother Code, and her journey to parenthood. For much of her life, Ackerman resided in the "hell no" camp regarding children, driven by a family mythology that she possessed a "flaw" in her DNA inherited from a long line of women who abandoned their children. However, after researching her ancestors and uncovering that these stories were half-truths, she began to dismantle these narratives and open herself up to the possibility of building a family. This shift led her through a challenging path of maternal ambivalence, egg freezing, a divorce, and eventually into the world of assisted reproduction with her second husband. The conversation dives deep into the realities of fertility preservation and the "gut punch" of discovering that the eggs Ackerman froze at 35 were not viable when she attempted to use them at 41. After enduring failed IVF rounds and the significant financial and emotional toll of fertility treatment, Ackerman and her husband considered donor conception. She candidly shares the "push and pull" of their decision to try IVF with donor eggs: the relief of not passing on rare genetic disorders contrasted with a profound sense of loss over the lack of a genetic connection and physical resemblance. Ultimately, she chose a donor based on a "spark" of connection—someone she felt she would want to have coffee with—rather than medical history, SAT scores, or physical similarities. Now the mother of a nearly six-year-old daughter, Ackerman discusses the importance of breaking the silence and shame surrounding donor conception. She highlights the need for more honest, vulnerable stories of life and parenthood in a society that often presents binary choices as the only options. Through her writing and advocacy, she seeks to reassure others that while the journey can be terrifying, it is also filled with unexpected joy. Her story serves as a powerful reminder that there are many ways to have a good life and that it doesn't always look the way you’d imagined it would. Get your copy of The Mother Code through the AllPaths Bookshop here and a portion of your purchase supports our mission at no extra cost to you! A special thank you to CCRM Fertility of Boston for sponsoring this episode and for their support and commitment to the AllPaths community. TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE: family building, egg freezing, donor eggs, IVF journey, reproductive health, maternal ambivalence, fertility options, family narratives, emotional support in fertility, women's health, parenting choices, fertility challenges, stories of motherhood, egg viability, second opinions in fertility, donor conception, donor egg decision making, Ruthie Ackerman, The Mother Code, psychological aspects of fertility, support for parents, modern family planning, navigating fertility CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org Follow us on social media @allpathsfb Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at podcast@allpathsfb.org!
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S1 · E89
June 30 · 48 min
Mental Health Absolutely Matters
This episode of the AllPaths podcast features Dr. Kim Murray, a licensed marriage and family therapist and certified perinatal mental health provider, candidly recounting her history of recurrent pregnancy loss, the physical and emotional toll of hyperemesis gravidarum (HG), and her and her husband’s struggles with postpartum depression. Dr. Murray’s family building journey was shaped by a generational history of loss where women in her family often experienced one loss for every live birth — a pattern she ultimately mirrored with two miscarriages and two live births. During the two pregnancies carried to term, she dealt with hyperemesis gravidarum, a rare condition that eventually led to the difficult decision to stop after two children despite her dream of having a large family. Beyond her personal experience, Dr. Murray offers vital professional insights into perinatal mental health, emphasizing that Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders (PMADs) are biological and physiological crises, rooted in brain chemistry and hormones, rather than a lack of "grit." Dr. Murray talks about both her own and her husband’s experiences with postpartum depression and the stark differences in resources and understanding that existed for them. Dr. Murray also offers practical guidance on navigating changing relationships and family dynamics as you grow your family, such as how to talk to young children about pregnancy loss. Ultimately, Dr. Murray punctuates the discussion with a message of grace: if you’re struggling with mental or physical health during this complex time it is not your fault. Connect with Dr. Murray at https://www.safehavenfamilytherapy.com/. If you or someone you care about is struggling with perinatal mental health, reach out to Postpartum Support International for support and resources: https://postpartum.net/get-help/. TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE: family building, perinatal mental health, perinatal mental health support, postpartum support for dads, mental health support, pregnancy loss, miscarriage, recurrent pregnancy loss, postpartum depression, mental health therapy, emotional support for parents, navigating family growth, creating a family, coping with loss, family therapy, pregnancy, hyperemesis gravidarum, support for new parents, mental health resources, coping strategies for infertility, discussing pregnancy loss, parenting after loss, mental health CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org Follow us on social media @allpathsfb Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at podcast@allpathsfb.org!
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S1 · E88
June 23 · 44 min
Redefining "Happily Ever After"
In this episode, Toronto-based coach Reema Kiran shares her personal experience of becoming a single mother by choice. Despite initial fertility assessments suggesting she would have a high egg yield, her attempts at egg freezing resulted in only two eggs, a result she realized was not a sufficient "insurance policy." This medical setback, combined with the feeling that her biological window was closing, propelled her into active family building in her mid-thirties. Reema’s decision to become a solo parent was also deeply influenced by her South Asian heritage and her parents’ arranged marriage which “wasn’t always a happy marriage.” Growing up in a culture where arranged marriage is common, she was determined to never settle for a relationship just to have children, even though choosing single parenthood was viewed by many as going against societal and familial expectations. Once Reema made the decision to pursue motherhood on her own. She meticulously managed the donor selection process, eventually choosing an open donor whose personal values and upbringing closely aligned with her own, however her path was further complicated by unexplained infertility, leading to six unsuccessful rounds of medicated IUI before she transitioned to IVF. A pivotal turning point occurred after a devastating first round of IVF where none of her three embryos passed genetic testing, leaving her at the "lowest of the low." This experience triggered a critical mindset shift from a "type A" need for control to a state of surrender, where Reema utilized her professional coaching background to navigate the emotional toll. After making the strategic decision to switch donors for her second round of IVF, she achieved a successful pregnancy. Reema describes her pregnancy and the unmedicated birth of her daughter as an empowering culmination of her journey, supported by her family and a doula. Throughout the process, she learned to navigate the complex emotions of "grieving the fairy tale" of a traditional family structure while embracing the unique advantages of being a single mother by choice, such as having the final say in all parenting decisions. Now an author, consultant, and mother of a three-and-a-half-year-old, Reema provides emotional support and coaching to women considering similar non-traditional paths to parenthood, hoping to fill the gaps in support that she encountered. Reflecting on her journey through her coaching practice and her book, Choice Mom, emphasizing that her only regret was not starting the process sooner. Connect with Reema at Choice Mom Coaching. TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE: single mother by choice, solo parent, family building, fertility journey, fertility treatment, egg freezing, IUI, IVF, genetic testing (PGT-A), IVF success, fertility assessment, donor conception, sperm donor, donor selection, open vs. anonymous donors, sperm banks, cultural scarcity, unexplained infertility, emotional support in fertility, single parenting, Choice Mom Coaching, Reema Kiran, mindset, personal development, coaching, navigating infertility, parenting without a partner, fertility treatments, support for single mothers, fairy tales, coping with infertility, family planning, cultural perceptions of motherhood, personal development in parenting CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org Follow us on social media @allpathsfb Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at podcast@allpathsfb.org!
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S1 · E87
June 16 · 47 min
Quiet Acts of Hope
This episode of the AllPaths Podcast features Alisa DeLage, LICSW, a clinical social worker who shares her personal and professional insights into the complexities of family building. Alisa’s own journey began with the excitement of a pregnancy and the feeling like her story, married to her high school sweetheart, was unfolding exactly how it was supposed to. However a traumatic miscarriage at 11 weeks kicked off an 18-month struggle with infertility and loss. Amidst this, she and her husband navigated the complexities of kinship foster care for a young family member. These profound losses and the experience fostering eventually forced a shift in Alisa and her husband’s perspective, leading them to redefine parenting not by biological ties, but by the shared goal of experiencing parenting together. The conversation explores the resilience required to transition to private adoption, including the joy of welcoming two sons and the heartbreak of a disrupted adoption match. Alisa reflects on how her background as a social worker influenced her path, eventually leading her to specialize in reproductive mental health to support others navigating similar trauma. She introduces the vital concept of disenfranchised grief, emphasizing the importance of naming the loss of one's "story" as valid and worth grieving. By framing the choice to continue moving forward with treatments or appointments as a "quiet act of hope," Alisa offers a powerful perspective for those who feel depleted of energy but continue to take the next step. Beyond her personal narrative, Alisa provides clinical insights into how the community and medical providers can better support those living under the "cloud" of infertility. She highlights the difference between intent and impact, urging supporters to ditch assumptions and instead offer specific choices—like bringing dinner or simply sitting in silence—to reduce the mental load on the person struggling. This episode is a compassionate exploration of the cognitive flexibility needed to adapt when life doesn't follow the planned script, ultimately finding peace and gratitude in a family structure that may look different than originally imagined. Connect with Alisa at https://www.harmonywithintherapy.com/ and find other family building professionals in the AllPaths directory at https://allpathsfb.org/professional-directory/. TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE: Pregnancy loss, TTC, kinship adoption, foster parents, miscarriage, loss, grief, adoption, private infant adoption, disrupted adoption, semi-open adoptions, first families, transracial family, adoptive families, social worker, disenfranchised grief, family building, infertility support, adoption journey, pregnancy loss, perinatal mental health, foster care experiences, grief and loss in parenting, emotional support during infertility, navigating family planning, maternal mental health, coping with miscarriage, parenting after loss, support for adoptive families, resources for infertility, private adoption process, understanding grief, mental health support for families, building a family through adoption, community support for parents, coping strategies for infertility CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org Follow us on social media @allpathsfb Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at podcast@allpathsfb.org!
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S1 · E86
June 9 · 53 min
Her First Decision as a Mother
In this moving episode of the AllPaths podcast, we sit down with Katie Gilliam, a Massachusetts mom and community advocate, to discuss her complex and emotional journey to parenthood. After an initial PCOS diagnosis and a difficult encounter with a fertility specialist who labeled her "the problem" due to her body size, Katie and her husband Chris achieved a successful pregnancy through IUI. However, their joy was met with devastation at a 19-week anatomy scan when they learned their daughter, Elvera Claire (Ellie), had a severe brain abnormality called holoprosencephaly. Katie shares the heart-wrenching choice to terminate the pregnancy at 23 weeks, a decision she describes as her first as a mother, to ensure her child would never experience the pain and suffering her condition would have caused during her brief life. The episode explores how Katie navigated the "absolute agony" of loss by leaning on support from AllPaths and pursuing genetic testing, which ultimately revealed a family mutation that helped other relatives navigate their own family-building journeys. Turning toward a new chapter, Katie details her subsequent IVF journey at Brigham Fertility, where specialized embryo testing led to the birth of her daughter Francesca, who is now a "wild" and thriving toddler. Now the Community Engagement Coordinator for The Lemon Grove, Katie reflects on her parenting after loss, the importance of mental health support, and the necessity of reproductive agency during traumatic family-building events. Her story is a powerful testament to the resilience required when navigating a "Plan Z" path to family and the power of sharing your story to help others feel less alone. TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE: Fertility treatment, IUI, PCOS, PMOS, body neutral healthcare, fetal MRI, genetic counseling, Boston Children’s Hospital, neonatal neurology, holoprosencephaly, termination for medical reasons, TFMR, late-term abortion, abortion access, pregnancy loss, grief, anxiety, trauma, Brigham Fertility, IVF, genetic testing, pregnancy after loss, expecting after loss, peer support, mental health support, therapy, relationship support, couples therapy, body-neutral parenting, parenting after loss, for family and friends, CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org Follow us on social media @allpathsfb Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at podcast@allpathsfb.org!
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S1 · E85
June 2 · 53 min
Baking a Family
In this episode of the AllPaths podcast, we sit down with Darlene Pinkerton and Kaitlin Pinkerton-Locher, mother-daughter trailblazers who have spent decades at the forefront of third-party fertility. After a hysterectomy at age 25 left Darlene unable to carry a pregnancy, she and her husband, attorney Tom Pinkerton, provided the genetic "ingredients" to create their daughter, Kaitlin. Because Darlene’s "oven wasn't working," they turned to Tom’s sister, Judy, who volunteered to let them use her "oven" to bake the cake. This simple metaphor became the foundation for how their family explained gestational surrogacy, a process so new at the time that Kaitlin is believed to be one of the first people in the world to be born this way. The conversation explores how this personal "recipe" for a family led to a landmark legal victory that changed reproductive rights forever. Because the hospital initially refused to put Darlene’s name on the birth certificate, Tom successfully argued that as the genetic parent Darlene should be on the birth certificate, not his sister. This historic case established the standards for pre-birth parentage orders and paved the way for same-sex couples to be recognized on birth certificates from the moment of birth. Beyond their legal legacy, Darlene and Kaitlin share how open conversations about their family’s origins empowered Kaitlin to own her story from a young age, leading to a memorable moment when she proudly explained to her kindergarten class how she was created in a petri dish. Today, as leaders of A Perfect Match and Coast to Coast Sperm Donation, the mother-daughter duo continues to advocate for family autonomy, transparency, and child-centered decision-making. From known and identified donations where donors and families can establish relationships and low family limits for sperm donors, to prioritizing mental health, candid conversations, and accurate language for all people involved in the process, Darlene and Kaitlin are working to ensure that the families they help build today are founded on the same principles of openness and honesty that have defined their own journey. 🔸 Are you exploring donor conception or gestational surrogacy as a potential path for your family? Find support, resources, and community at AllPaths! TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE: Third-party reproduction, gestational carrier, gestational surrogacy, intended parents, parentage order, IVF, donor conception, egg donation, sperm donation, egg donor, sperm donor, gamete donation, AllPaths Family Building, donor conception, surrogacy journey, family planning, LGBTQ+ family building, legal aspects of surrogacy, donor rights, Coast to Coast Sperm Donation, A Perfect Match, mental health support, mental health support for gamete donors, mental health support for intended parents, conversations with children about donor conception, conversations with children about gestational surrogacy, family building, surrogacy, IVF, known donor programs, fertility support, reproductive health CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org Follow us on social media @allpathsfb Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at podcast@allpathsfb.org!
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S1 · E84
May 26 · 38 min
RIVF, Representation, and Resilience
This episode of the AllPaths podcast features Dana Rudolph, founder and publisher of the two-time GLAAD Media Award-winning LGBTQ+ parenting site Mombian. Dana shares her personal family-building story from the early 2000s, detailing her and her partner’s experience with reciprocal IVF. She reflects on the medical complexities of syncing cycles and the legal hurdles they faced in New Jersey, where they successfully petitioned for a pre-birth parentage order to ensure both parents were legally recognized from the moment of their son's birth. The conversation explores the 21-year evolution of Mombian, which Dana started as a new parent to provide the queer-focused parenting news and commentary that she found was missing from mainstream media. A major cornerstone of her work is an extensive LGBTQ+ book database, created to help families find quality representation. Dana also discusses the inspiration behind LGBTQ Families Day, an annual celebration she founded to honor diverse family structures and foster community visibility during the "parental holiday season" each Spring. Finally, Dana offers a nuanced look at the current state of LGBTQ+ family-building, noting that while there has been significant progress in marriage equality and inclusive fertility clinic practices, there is also a concerning "backsliding" through recent book bans and restrictive state legislation. She highlights the importance of organizations like COLAGE, elevates the voices of children of LGBTQ+ parents, and emphasizes that these families are "part of the world" with joys and challenges just like any other. To those just starting their journey, she offers a reminder that queer families have a long, rich history and that no one has to navigate the path to parenthood alone. Connect with Dana at https://mombian.com/ and on social media @mombian. TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE: LGBTQ+ families, LGBTQ+ family building, fertility treatment, reciprocal IVF, donor conception, same-sex couples, parenting journey, legal parentage, family support, fertility clinics, assisted reproduction, queer families, Mombian, LGBTQ+ representation, LGBTQ+ family books, COLAGE, queerspawn, marriage equality, LGBTQ Families Day, family building, LGBTQ parenting, Mombian, parenting resources, LGBTQ Families Day, emotional support, family planning, parenting challenges, inclusive parenting, family stories, community support CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org Follow us on social media @allpathsfb Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at podcast@allpathsfb.org!
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S1 · E83
May 19 · 40 min
Holding Both Hope and Happiness
In this episode of the AllPaths podcast, we sit down with Elana Frank, the CEO and founder of the Jewish Fertility Foundation (JFF), to discuss her journey to parenthood. Elana shares her experience navigating fertility treatments in both Israel and the United States, including the discovery of her blocked tubes after months of ineffective procedures and the eventual birth of her three sons through IVF and embryo donation. She speaks candidly about the emotional and financial hurdles of building a family, emphasizing the sense of isolation she felt before finding a community that understood her specific cultural and religious needs. Elana also details how a realization about the staggering costs of fertility treatments in the U.S. compared to Israel's socialized medicine inspired her to launch JFF in 2015. Today, the foundation provides a holistic approach to support through financial grants, emotional mentorship via a "fertility buddies" program, and educational outreach to clergy and medical professionals. While JFF is rooted in the Jewish community, Elana explains how their support groups and educational programs are open to anyone, including specific programming for hopeful grandparents-to-be. Throughout the conversation, Elana emphasizes the importance of community-based support, open communication with children about their origins, and recognizing that one can experience both the joy of existing children and the desire to further grow their family at the same time. Connect with the Jewish Fertility Foundation at https://jewishfertilityfoundation.org/. CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org Follow us on social media @allpathsfb Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at podcast@allpathsfb.org!
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S1 · E82
May 12 · 59 min
"I See You and I Am You"
In this episode of the AllPaths podcast, sit down with Carol McMurrich, the founder and director of Empty Arms Bereavement Support. Carol shares her deeply personal story of losing her first daughter, Charlotte, to stillbirth at 41 weeks after an uncomplicated pregnancy, an experience that left her feeling "totally floored" and disconnected from reality. She reflects on the "visceral fear" that accompanied her subsequent pregnancies and her later experience with secondary infertility, highlighting how such trauma fundamentally reshapes a person’s identity and their relationship with the world. Carol’s own experiences inspired her work, which began by offering a single support group in 2007 and has since expanded into a robust nonprofit organization offering peer-to-peer support, hospital companion programs, provider education, and specialized resources for bereaved parents. Carol discusses the importance of creating safe, non-judgmental spaces where people can feel "normal" in their grief and getting to be their baby's parent is their primary identity. Ultimately, the episode highlights that while early grief is a minute-by-minute survival process, community support and the integration of grief and loss into one's identity rather than avoidance can eventually lead to a sense of wholeness and happiness again. TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE: Pregnancy loss, stillbirth, pregnancy after loss, expecting after loss, infertility, secondary infertility, parenting after loss, peer support, validation, grief, family building, grief support, pregnancy loss, parenting after loss, emotional healing, family building journey, bereavement support, pregnancy and infant loss, support groups, community for parents, coping with loss, motherhood after loss, child loss awareness, support for bereaved parents, navigating loss, infertility support, community resources for families, family dynamics, healing after trauma, sharing your story CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org Follow us on social media @allpathsfb Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at podcast@allpathsfb.org!
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S1 · E81
May 5 · 38 min
"The Mind is a Muscle"
In this episode of the AllPaths podcast, hosts Emily and Liane sit down with Cynthia, a licensed social worker and seasoned health and wellness coach, who first connected with our organization over twenty years ago as a peer support group attendee. After enduring years of infertility and recurrent pregnancy loss, Cynthia finally welcomed her daughter through IVF. Following a later, life-threatening pregnancy that necessitated an emergency hysterectomy, she and her husband turned to gestational surrogacy to have their son. Cynthia describes this as an "incredibly powerful experience" that resulted not only in the birth of her child but also in a cherished, lifelong friendship with their carrier. This unique relationship endures and Cynthia shares how the conversations with her children about their origin stories have evolved over the years. She reflects on the evolution of support networks in the family building space, noting that while she once navigated these challenges in relative isolation, she now advocates for openness and community resources. Cynthia’s professional expertise in Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) and resilience coaching has also changed her perspective on the emotional toll of infertility. She reflects on the intense anxiety of "giving up complete control" during the surrogacy process and how she wishes she had possessed her current toolkit of meditation and self-care strategies two decades ago. Now a group leader for AllPaths, Cynthia now helps create the community she once found so helpful and teaches the coping strategies that she wishes she had possessed during her own journey in our Mindfulness Group. TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE: family building, infertility support, recurrent pregnancy loss, gestational surrogacy, pregnancy loss, family growth, parenting journeys, mental health and wellness, support groups, mindfulness, emotional support for parents, coping with infertility, IVF, health and wellness coaching, community support, resilience, emotional impact of infertility, personal stories of family building, peer support, Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction, meditation, coping strategies, self-care, resilience CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org Follow us on social media @allpathsfb Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at podcast@allpathsfb.org!
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