AllPaths Podcast

AllPaths Family Building

Building a family can be a complicated, messy, lonely, and sometimes heartbreaking process, but you don't have to navigate this challenging journey alone.

Join the AllPaths Family Building community as we talk with people who are currently trying to grow their family, those whose family building journey has come to an end, and experts in the fertility and family building space.

Together we'll:

*Hear family stories, providing real-life perspectives that highlight the many different paths a family building journey can take.

*Explore different fertility treatments and family building options with experts in this space.

*Get connected to a variety of supportive resources so you feel better equipped to tackle any challenges that may arise in your family building journey.

*Learn about ongoing advocacy work that promotes access to fertility care and family building options - and you can get involved.

No matter what you encounter on your journey - struggles while TTC, IUI, IVF, donor conception, surrogacy, adoption, pregnancy loss, pregnancy and parenting after, or remaining childless not by choice - the real-life insights from people who have traveled those paths can provide connection, comfort, and hope.

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20 episodes
Updated Tuesday

Episodes20

Newest first

Tuesday · 43 min
"If I just get up and take a shower, I've done something today."
In this episode of the AllPaths podcast, we sit down with Jen Rogalski, Assistant Director of Empty Arms Bereavement Support, to discuss her journey through late-term pregnancy loss and her subsequent path to healing. Jen shares the heartbreaking story of losing her first son, Baby R, at 37 weeks after noticing decreased fetal movement. She describes the "robotic" days following the diagnosis, the challenges of navigating a loss after the initial swell of support passed, and the vital role that peer support from Empty Arms played in helping her and her husband, Eric, through the depths of grief. Now parenting a living son, two-year-old Drew, Jen shares how she used the Count the Kicks app during that pregnancy to monitor fetal movement, which provided her with a sense of empowerment and security by giving her tangible data and how the Empty Arms community continued to provide support as she navigated pregnancy and parenting after loss. Jen’s personal experience also prompted a major career shift. After Drew’s birth, she began working for the organization that had provided such a lifeline for her, helping expand Empty Arms’ support services by creating regional "hubs" and developing bereavement resource bags for local hospitals, with items designed to provide immediate practical and emotional comfort as well as connection to the community so that other parents aren't left to find help on their own as she once was. Beyond local support, Jen is also a passionate advocate for stillbirth prevention. She has traveled to Washington, D.C., to speak with legislators about prevention measures and frequently shares her story to encourage others to find a voice for their own experiences. Her work aims to bridge the gap between medical trauma and community healing, ensuring no parent feels they are "floating on a pool raft" alone. Throughout the conversation, Jen offers poignant advice for those starting their family-building journeys and for friends looking to support someone through loss. She emphasizes the power of consistent check-ins, sharing how a simple daily text message from a family member for an entire year provided a necessary lifeline during her darkest days. By speaking openly about her experience and transition from a grieving parent to a leader at Empty Arms, Jen’s story underscores the vital link between community support and healing, showing how peer connections can transform the isolation of loss into a shared journey of recovery. Connect with Empty Arms at https://www.emptyarmsbereavement.org/. Learn more about Count the Kicks and download the app at https://countthekicks.org/. TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE: Pregnancy loss, late-term pregnancy loss, placental health, placental abnormalities, medical trauma, bereaved parents, community support, peer support, family building support, coping with pregnancy loss, stillbirth awareness, parenting after loss, grief support for parents, family building resources, emotional support for parents, navigating grief, nonprofit family support, bereavement support groups, advocacy for stillbirth prevention, Count the Kicks, pregnancy after loss, community support for parents, peer support for grieving parents, mental health after loss, connecting with bereaved parents, understanding pregnancy complications, grief, loss, peer support, peer support groups, Empty Arms Bereavement Support CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org Follow us on social media @allpathsfb Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at podcast@allpathsfb.org!
July 21 · 52 min
Sarah and IVF Babe
In this episode of the AllPaths podcast, we sit down with Sarah Weiss, a New Jersey native who began documenting her family-building journey on day one on her social media. Sarah discusses the early days of her marriage in 2023 when she and her husband were diagnosed with male factor infertility after just three months of trying, a discovery made possible by a proactive OB-GYN who suggested also testing the male partner at the start. What Sarah initially expected to be a straightforward IVF process turned into a much longer journey with two egg retrievals and three frozen embryo transfers before the birth of her miracle, Mia. Sarah shares the emotional toll of failed cycles, the "dark place" of feeling hopeless despite doing everything "right," and navigating the compounding grief of multiple setbacks. Beyond the medical logistics, Sarah reflects on the duality of maintaining her business and relationships while her fertility journey felt like a "hot mess express." Documenting her experiences on social media provided a vital sense of community and helped her process the emotional toll of failed cycles, support which has continued as the conversation has shifted to Sarah’s transition into motherhood and the reality of the “survivors guilt” and anxiety that often accompany pregnancy and parenting after infertility. Contemplating being “won and done,” Sarah emphasizes the importance of self-advocacy and allowing space for both grief and joy during difficult times for whatever lies ahead. Connect with Sarah on Instagram @sarah.and.babes and TikTok @sarahandbabes. TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE: Male-factor infertility, PCOS, PMOS, infertility, resentment, validation, community support, IVF, egg retrieval, genetic testing, embryo transfer, online community, pregnancy after infertility, anxiety, perinatal anxiety, family goals, won and done, one and done, remaining embryos, mental health support, bodily autonomy, self-advocacy, scheduled c-section, parenting after infertility, survivor’s guilt, relationships, isolation, friendship, family building, infertility support, IVF journey, male factor infertility, trying to conceive, TTC, fertility clinic, social media and infertility, emotional support during IVF, supportive friends during infertility, navigating fertility treatments, community support for infertility, documenting fertility journey, advocacy in fertility care, overcoming infertility challenges, parenting after infertility, survivor's guilt in infertility, sharing pregnancy journey, mental health and fertility CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org Follow us on social media @allpathsfb Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at podcast@allpathsfb.org!
July 14 · 56 min
From "The Girl with Bad Periods" to “Chief Hope Officer”
This episode of the AllPaths Podcast features women's health advocate La-Anna Douglas. La-Anna shares the complex story of her 16-year journey through infertility, which began with excruciating menstrual cycles in her teenage years that were often dismissed by medical professionals who simply labeled her the "girl with bad periods". After years of being "shut down" by doctors, a series of persistent self-advocacy efforts and fertility testing revealed a rare anatomical reality: La-Anna has two uteruses, two cervixes, endometriosis, and fibroids. La-Anna candidly details the immense emotional and financial strain of her path, including a painful and failed IVF cycle that cost the couple over $12,000 out of pocket. She speaks openly about her lowest point of despair and how she found healing through the unwavering support of her husband, who affirmed his love for her "with or without children." Her story ultimately leads to the joy of two "miracle" daughters born nine years apart, both conceived spontaneously to everyone’s shock. Beyond her personal story, La-Anna discusses her transformation from someone "suffering in silence" to a bold reproductive health advocate who has shared her testimony on global platforms and even testified before Congress. She offers vital advice on the importance of self-advocacy, learning medical terminology to better communicate with doctors, and prioritizing self-care. This episode serves as a powerful testament to resilience, reminding listeners that their worth is inherent and that even in the most challenging family-building journeys, hope still stands. Connect with La-Anna on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/hopestillstands/. TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE: Infertility, fertility testing, hysterosalpingogram (HSG), uterus didelphys, endometriosis, IVF, financial burden of infertility, secondary infertility, fibroids, endometriosis, robotic laparoscopic myomectomy, secondary infertility, Hope Still Stands, advocacy, self-advocacy, hope, relationships and infertility, reproductive health, women’s health advocacy, reproductive healthcare, patient advocacy, empowerment, mental health, family building, infertility support, reproductive health issues, double uterus, endometriosis awareness, IVF journey, Clomid treatment, self-advocacy in healthcare, emotional support for infertility, hope in family planning, navigating fertility challenges, community support for women, overcoming infertility struggles, personal fertility stories, health empowerment for women, coping with infertility, fertility treatments explained, mental health and infertility CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org Follow us on social media @allpathsfb Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at podcast@allpathsfb.org!
July 7 · 43 min
Rewriting the Mother Code
In this episode of the AllPaths Podcast, we sit down with journalist and author Ruthie Ackerman to discuss her memoir, The Mother Code, and her journey to parenthood. For much of her life, Ackerman resided in the "hell no" camp regarding children, driven by a family mythology that she possessed a "flaw" in her DNA inherited from a long line of women who abandoned their children. However, after researching her ancestors and uncovering that these stories were half-truths, she began to dismantle these narratives and open herself up to the possibility of building a family. This shift led her through a challenging path of maternal ambivalence, egg freezing, a divorce, and eventually into the world of assisted reproduction with her second husband. The conversation dives deep into the realities of fertility preservation and the "gut punch" of discovering that the eggs Ackerman froze at 35 were not viable when she attempted to use them at 41. After enduring failed IVF rounds and the significant financial and emotional toll of fertility treatment, Ackerman and her husband considered donor conception. She candidly shares the "push and pull" of their decision to try IVF with donor eggs: the relief of not passing on rare genetic disorders contrasted with a profound sense of loss over the lack of a genetic connection and physical resemblance. Ultimately, she chose a donor based on a "spark" of connection—someone she felt she would want to have coffee with—rather than medical history, SAT scores, or physical similarities. Now the mother of a nearly six-year-old daughter, Ackerman discusses the importance of breaking the silence and shame surrounding donor conception. She highlights the need for more honest, vulnerable stories of life and parenthood in a society that often presents binary choices as the only options. Through her writing and advocacy, she seeks to reassure others that while the journey can be terrifying, it is also filled with unexpected joy. Her story serves as a powerful reminder that there are many ways to have a good life and that it doesn't always look the way you’d imagined it would. Get your copy of The Mother Code through the AllPaths Bookshop here and a portion of your purchase supports our mission at no extra cost to you! A special thank you to CCRM Fertility of Boston for sponsoring this episode and for their support and commitment to the AllPaths community. TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE: family building, egg freezing, donor eggs, IVF journey, reproductive health, maternal ambivalence, fertility options, family narratives, emotional support in fertility, women's health, parenting choices, fertility challenges, stories of motherhood, egg viability, second opinions in fertility, donor conception, donor egg decision making, Ruthie Ackerman, The Mother Code, psychological aspects of fertility, support for parents, modern family planning, navigating fertility CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org Follow us on social media @allpathsfb Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at podcast@allpathsfb.org!
June 30 · 48 min
Mental Health Absolutely Matters
This episode of the AllPaths podcast features Dr. Kim Murray, a licensed marriage and family therapist and certified perinatal mental health provider, candidly recounting her history of recurrent pregnancy loss, the physical and emotional toll of hyperemesis gravidarum (HG), and her and her husband’s struggles with postpartum depression. Dr. Murray’s family building journey was shaped by a generational history of loss where women in her family often experienced one loss for every live birth — a pattern she ultimately mirrored with two miscarriages and two live births. During the two pregnancies carried to term, she dealt with hyperemesis gravidarum, a rare condition that eventually led to the difficult decision to stop after two children despite her dream of having a large family. Beyond her personal experience, Dr. Murray offers vital professional insights into perinatal mental health, emphasizing that Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders (PMADs) are biological and physiological crises, rooted in brain chemistry and hormones, rather than a lack of "grit." Dr. Murray talks about both her own and her husband’s experiences with postpartum depression and the stark differences in resources and understanding that existed for them. Dr. Murray also offers practical guidance on navigating changing relationships and family dynamics as you grow your family, such as how to talk to young children about pregnancy loss. Ultimately, Dr. Murray punctuates the discussion with a message of grace: if you’re struggling with mental or physical health during this complex time it is not your fault. Connect with Dr. Murray at https://www.safehavenfamilytherapy.com/. If you or someone you care about is struggling with perinatal mental health, reach out to Postpartum Support International for support and resources: https://postpartum.net/get-help/. TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE: family building, perinatal mental health, perinatal mental health support, postpartum support for dads, mental health support, pregnancy loss, miscarriage, recurrent pregnancy loss, postpartum depression, mental health therapy, emotional support for parents, navigating family growth, creating a family, coping with loss, family therapy, pregnancy, hyperemesis gravidarum, support for new parents, mental health resources, coping strategies for infertility, discussing pregnancy loss, parenting after loss, mental health CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org Follow us on social media @allpathsfb Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at podcast@allpathsfb.org!
June 23 · 44 min
Redefining "Happily Ever After"
In this episode, Toronto-based coach Reema Kiran shares her personal experience of becoming a single mother by choice. Despite initial fertility assessments suggesting she would have a high egg yield, her attempts at egg freezing resulted in only two eggs, a result she realized was not a sufficient "insurance policy." This medical setback, combined with the feeling that her biological window was closing, propelled her into active family building in her mid-thirties. Reema’s decision to become a solo parent was also deeply influenced by her South Asian heritage and her parents’ arranged marriage which “wasn’t always a happy marriage.” Growing up in a culture where arranged marriage is common, she was determined to never settle for a relationship just to have children, even though choosing single parenthood was viewed by many as going against societal and familial expectations. Once Reema made the decision to pursue motherhood on her own. She meticulously managed the donor selection process, eventually choosing an open donor whose personal values and upbringing closely aligned with her own, however her path was further complicated by unexplained infertility, leading to six unsuccessful rounds of medicated IUI before she transitioned to IVF. A pivotal turning point occurred after a devastating first round of IVF where none of her three embryos passed genetic testing, leaving her at the "lowest of the low." This experience triggered a critical mindset shift from a "type A" need for control to a state of surrender, where Reema utilized her professional coaching background to navigate the emotional toll. After making the strategic decision to switch donors for her second round of IVF, she achieved a successful pregnancy. Reema describes her pregnancy and the unmedicated birth of her daughter as an empowering culmination of her journey, supported by her family and a doula. Throughout the process, she learned to navigate the complex emotions of "grieving the fairy tale" of a traditional family structure while embracing the unique advantages of being a single mother by choice, such as having the final say in all parenting decisions. Now an author, consultant, and mother of a three-and-a-half-year-old, Reema provides emotional support and coaching to women considering similar non-traditional paths to parenthood, hoping to fill the gaps in support that she encountered. Reflecting on her journey through her coaching practice and her book, Choice Mom, emphasizing that her only regret was not starting the process sooner. Connect with Reema at Choice Mom Coaching. TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE: single mother by choice, solo parent, family building, fertility journey, fertility treatment, egg freezing, IUI, IVF, genetic testing (PGT-A), IVF success, fertility assessment, donor conception, sperm donor, donor selection, open vs. anonymous donors, sperm banks, cultural scarcity, unexplained infertility, emotional support in fertility, single parenting, Choice Mom Coaching, Reema Kiran, mindset, personal development, coaching, navigating infertility, parenting without a partner, fertility treatments, support for single mothers, fairy tales, coping with infertility, family planning, cultural perceptions of motherhood, personal development in parenting CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org Follow us on social media @allpathsfb Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at podcast@allpathsfb.org!
June 16 · 47 min
Quiet Acts of Hope
This episode of the AllPaths Podcast features Alisa DeLage, LICSW, a clinical social worker who shares her personal and professional insights into the complexities of family building. Alisa’s own journey began with the excitement of a pregnancy and the feeling like her story, married to her high school sweetheart, was unfolding exactly how it was supposed to. However a traumatic miscarriage at 11 weeks kicked off an 18-month struggle with infertility and loss. Amidst this, she and her husband navigated the complexities of kinship foster care for a young family member. These profound losses and the experience fostering eventually forced a shift in Alisa and her husband’s perspective, leading them to redefine parenting not by biological ties, but by the shared goal of experiencing parenting together. The conversation explores the resilience required to transition to private adoption, including the joy of welcoming two sons and the heartbreak of a disrupted adoption match. Alisa reflects on how her background as a social worker influenced her path, eventually leading her to specialize in reproductive mental health to support others navigating similar trauma. She introduces the vital concept of disenfranchised grief, emphasizing the importance of naming the loss of one's "story" as valid and worth grieving. By framing the choice to continue moving forward with treatments or appointments as a "quiet act of hope," Alisa offers a powerful perspective for those who feel depleted of energy but continue to take the next step. Beyond her personal narrative, Alisa provides clinical insights into how the community and medical providers can better support those living under the "cloud" of infertility. She highlights the difference between intent and impact, urging supporters to ditch assumptions and instead offer specific choices—like bringing dinner or simply sitting in silence—to reduce the mental load on the person struggling. This episode is a compassionate exploration of the cognitive flexibility needed to adapt when life doesn't follow the planned script, ultimately finding peace and gratitude in a family structure that may look different than originally imagined. Connect with Alisa at https://www.harmonywithintherapy.com/ and find other family building professionals in the AllPaths directory at https://allpathsfb.org/professional-directory/. TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE: Pregnancy loss, TTC, kinship adoption, foster parents, miscarriage, loss, grief, adoption, private infant adoption, disrupted adoption, semi-open adoptions, first families, transracial family, adoptive families, social worker, disenfranchised grief, family building, infertility support, adoption journey, pregnancy loss, perinatal mental health, foster care experiences, grief and loss in parenting, emotional support during infertility, navigating family planning, maternal mental health, coping with miscarriage, parenting after loss, support for adoptive families, resources for infertility, private adoption process, understanding grief, mental health support for families, building a family through adoption, community support for parents, coping strategies for infertility CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org Follow us on social media @allpathsfb Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at podcast@allpathsfb.org!
June 9 · 53 min
Her First Decision as a Mother
In this moving episode of the AllPaths podcast, we sit down with Katie Gilliam, a Massachusetts mom and community advocate, to discuss her complex and emotional journey to parenthood. After an initial PCOS diagnosis and a difficult encounter with a fertility specialist who labeled her "the problem" due to her body size, Katie and her husband Chris achieved a successful pregnancy through IUI. However, their joy was met with devastation at a 19-week anatomy scan when they learned their daughter, Elvera Claire (Ellie), had a severe brain abnormality called holoprosencephaly. Katie shares the heart-wrenching choice to terminate the pregnancy at 23 weeks, a decision she describes as her first as a mother, to ensure her child would never experience the pain and suffering her condition would have caused during her brief life. The episode explores how Katie navigated the "absolute agony" of loss by leaning on support from AllPaths and pursuing genetic testing, which ultimately revealed a family mutation that helped other relatives navigate their own family-building journeys. Turning toward a new chapter, Katie details her subsequent IVF journey at Brigham Fertility, where specialized embryo testing led to the birth of her daughter Francesca, who is now a "wild" and thriving toddler. Now the Community Engagement Coordinator for The Lemon Grove, Katie reflects on her parenting after loss, the importance of mental health support, and the necessity of reproductive agency during traumatic family-building events. Her story is a powerful testament to the resilience required when navigating a "Plan Z" path to family and the power of sharing your story to help others feel less alone. TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE: Fertility treatment, IUI, PCOS, PMOS, body neutral healthcare, fetal MRI, genetic counseling, Boston Children’s Hospital, neonatal neurology, holoprosencephaly, termination for medical reasons, TFMR, late-term abortion, abortion access, pregnancy loss, grief, anxiety, trauma, Brigham Fertility, IVF, genetic testing, pregnancy after loss, expecting after loss, peer support, mental health support, therapy, relationship support, couples therapy, body-neutral parenting, parenting after loss, for family and friends, CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org Follow us on social media @allpathsfb Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at podcast@allpathsfb.org!
June 2 · 53 min
Baking a Family
In this episode of the AllPaths podcast, we sit down with Darlene Pinkerton and Kaitlin Pinkerton-Locher, mother-daughter trailblazers who have spent decades at the forefront of third-party fertility. After a hysterectomy at age 25 left Darlene unable to carry a pregnancy, she and her husband, attorney Tom Pinkerton, provided the genetic "ingredients" to create their daughter, Kaitlin. Because Darlene’s "oven wasn't working," they turned to Tom’s sister, Judy, who volunteered to let them use her "oven" to bake the cake. This simple metaphor became the foundation for how their family explained gestational surrogacy, a process so new at the time that Kaitlin is believed to be one of the first people in the world to be born this way. The conversation explores how this personal "recipe" for a family led to a landmark legal victory that changed reproductive rights forever. Because the hospital initially refused to put Darlene’s name on the birth certificate, Tom successfully argued that as the genetic parent Darlene should be on the birth certificate, not his sister. This historic case established the standards for pre-birth parentage orders and paved the way for same-sex couples to be recognized on birth certificates from the moment of birth. Beyond their legal legacy, Darlene and Kaitlin share how open conversations about their family’s origins empowered Kaitlin to own her story from a young age, leading to a memorable moment when she proudly explained to her kindergarten class how she was created in a petri dish. Today, as leaders of A Perfect Match and Coast to Coast Sperm Donation, the mother-daughter duo continues to advocate for family autonomy, transparency, and child-centered decision-making. From known and identified donations where donors and families can establish relationships and low family limits for sperm donors, to prioritizing mental health, candid conversations, and accurate language for all people involved in the process, Darlene and Kaitlin are working to ensure that the families they help build today are founded on the same principles of openness and honesty that have defined their own journey. 🔸 Are you exploring donor conception or gestational surrogacy as a potential path for your family? Find support, resources, and community at AllPaths! TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE: Third-party reproduction, gestational carrier, gestational surrogacy, intended parents, parentage order, IVF, donor conception, egg donation, sperm donation, egg donor, sperm donor, gamete donation, AllPaths Family Building, donor conception, surrogacy journey, family planning, LGBTQ+ family building, legal aspects of surrogacy, donor rights, Coast to Coast Sperm Donation, A Perfect Match, mental health support, mental health support for gamete donors, mental health support for intended parents, conversations with children about donor conception, conversations with children about gestational surrogacy, family building, surrogacy, IVF, known donor programs, fertility support, reproductive health CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org Follow us on social media @allpathsfb Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at podcast@allpathsfb.org!
May 26 · 38 min
RIVF, Representation, and Resilience
This episode of the AllPaths podcast features Dana Rudolph, founder and publisher of the two-time GLAAD Media Award-winning LGBTQ+ parenting site Mombian. Dana shares her personal family-building story from the early 2000s, detailing her and her partner’s experience with reciprocal IVF. She reflects on the medical complexities of syncing cycles and the legal hurdles they faced in New Jersey, where they successfully petitioned for a pre-birth parentage order to ensure both parents were legally recognized from the moment of their son's birth. The conversation explores the 21-year evolution of Mombian, which Dana started as a new parent to provide the queer-focused parenting news and commentary that she found was missing from mainstream media. A major cornerstone of her work is an extensive LGBTQ+ book database, created to help families find quality representation. Dana also discusses the inspiration behind LGBTQ Families Day, an annual celebration she founded to honor diverse family structures and foster community visibility during the "parental holiday season" each Spring. Finally, Dana offers a nuanced look at the current state of LGBTQ+ family-building, noting that while there has been significant progress in marriage equality and inclusive fertility clinic practices, there is also a concerning "backsliding" through recent book bans and restrictive state legislation. She highlights the importance of organizations like COLAGE, elevates the voices of children of LGBTQ+ parents, and emphasizes that these families are "part of the world" with joys and challenges just like any other. To those just starting their journey, she offers a reminder that queer families have a long, rich history and that no one has to navigate the path to parenthood alone. Connect with Dana at https://mombian.com/ and on social media @mombian. TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE: LGBTQ+ families, LGBTQ+ family building, fertility treatment, reciprocal IVF, donor conception, same-sex couples, parenting journey, legal parentage, family support, fertility clinics, assisted reproduction, queer families, Mombian, LGBTQ+ representation, LGBTQ+ family books, COLAGE, queerspawn, marriage equality, LGBTQ Families Day, family building, LGBTQ parenting, Mombian, parenting resources, LGBTQ Families Day, emotional support, family planning, parenting challenges, inclusive parenting, family stories, community support CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org Follow us on social media @allpathsfb Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at podcast@allpathsfb.org!
May 19 · 40 min
Holding Both Hope and Happiness
In this episode of the AllPaths podcast, we sit down with Elana Frank, the CEO and founder of the Jewish Fertility Foundation (JFF), to discuss her journey to parenthood. Elana shares her experience navigating fertility treatments in both Israel and the United States, including the discovery of her blocked tubes after months of ineffective procedures and the eventual birth of her three sons through IVF and embryo donation. She speaks candidly about the emotional and financial hurdles of building a family, emphasizing the sense of isolation she felt before finding a community that understood her specific cultural and religious needs. Elana also details how a realization about the staggering costs of fertility treatments in the U.S. compared to Israel's socialized medicine inspired her to launch JFF in 2015. Today, the foundation provides a holistic approach to support through financial grants, emotional mentorship via a "fertility buddies" program, and educational outreach to clergy and medical professionals. While JFF is rooted in the Jewish community, Elana explains how their support groups and educational programs are open to anyone, including specific programming for hopeful grandparents-to-be. Throughout the conversation, Elana emphasizes the importance of community-based support, open communication with children about their origins, and recognizing that one can experience both the joy of existing children and the desire to further grow their family at the same time. Connect with the Jewish Fertility Foundation at https://jewishfertilityfoundation.org/. CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org Follow us on social media @allpathsfb Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at podcast@allpathsfb.org!
May 12 · 59 min
"I See You and I Am You"
In this episode of the AllPaths podcast, sit down with Carol McMurrich, the founder and director of Empty Arms Bereavement Support. Carol shares her deeply personal story of losing her first daughter, Charlotte, to stillbirth at 41 weeks after an uncomplicated pregnancy, an experience that left her feeling "totally floored" and disconnected from reality. She reflects on the "visceral fear" that accompanied her subsequent pregnancies and her later experience with secondary infertility, highlighting how such trauma fundamentally reshapes a person’s identity and their relationship with the world. Carol’s own experiences inspired her work, which began by offering a single support group in 2007 and has since expanded into a robust nonprofit organization offering peer-to-peer support, hospital companion programs, provider education, and specialized resources for bereaved parents. Carol discusses the importance of creating safe, non-judgmental spaces where people can feel "normal" in their grief and getting to be their baby's parent is their primary identity. Ultimately, the episode highlights that while early grief is a minute-by-minute survival process, community support and the integration of grief and loss into one's identity rather than avoidance can eventually lead to a sense of wholeness and happiness again. TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE: Pregnancy loss, stillbirth, pregnancy after loss, expecting after loss, infertility, secondary infertility, parenting after loss, peer support, validation, grief, family building, grief support, pregnancy loss, parenting after loss, emotional healing, family building journey, bereavement support, pregnancy and infant loss, support groups, community for parents, coping with loss, motherhood after loss, child loss awareness, support for bereaved parents, navigating loss, infertility support, community resources for families, family dynamics, healing after trauma, sharing your story CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org Follow us on social media @allpathsfb Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at podcast@allpathsfb.org!
May 5 · 38 min
"The Mind is a Muscle"
In this episode of the AllPaths podcast, hosts Emily and Liane sit down with Cynthia, a licensed social worker and seasoned health and wellness coach, who first connected with our organization over twenty years ago as a peer support group attendee. After enduring years of infertility and recurrent pregnancy loss, Cynthia finally welcomed her daughter through IVF. Following a later, life-threatening pregnancy that necessitated an emergency hysterectomy, she and her husband turned to gestational surrogacy to have their son. Cynthia describes this as an "incredibly powerful experience" that resulted not only in the birth of her child but also in a cherished, lifelong friendship with their carrier. This unique relationship endures and Cynthia shares how the conversations with her children about their origin stories have evolved over the years. She reflects on the evolution of support networks in the family building space, noting that while she once navigated these challenges in relative isolation, she now advocates for openness and community resources. Cynthia’s professional expertise in Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) and resilience coaching has also changed her perspective on the emotional toll of infertility. She reflects on the intense anxiety of "giving up complete control" during the surrogacy process and how she wishes she had possessed her current toolkit of meditation and self-care strategies two decades ago. Now a group leader for AllPaths, Cynthia now helps create the community she once found so helpful and teaches the coping strategies that she wishes she had possessed during her own journey in our Mindfulness Group. TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE: family building, infertility support, recurrent pregnancy loss, gestational surrogacy, pregnancy loss, family growth, parenting journeys, mental health and wellness, support groups, mindfulness, emotional support for parents, coping with infertility, IVF, health and wellness coaching, community support, resilience, emotional impact of infertility, personal stories of family building, peer support, Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction, meditation, coping strategies, self-care, resilience CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org Follow us on social media @allpathsfb Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at podcast@allpathsfb.org!
April 28 · 47 min
An Adoptee Choosing Adoption
In this episode we meet Will, a Boston native living in Texas who offers a unique perspective on adoption as both an adoptee and a new adoptive father. Adopted at birth from a Brazilian birth mother by white parents, Will shares what it was like growing up in a multiracial household where adoption was a normal, open part of the conversation. He recounts his emotional journey to reconnect with his Brazilian heritage and birth family during a study abroad trip in college, a search that has since evolved into a 14-year relationship with his birth mother and siblings. Will also discusses his transition into fatherhood, having recently adopted his daughter with his wife. He explains how his own history led him to view adoption as a way to "pay it forward" and why he and his wife prioritized an open adoption to ensure their daughter has the ties to her birth family that he lacked for the first 22 years of his life. Throughout the conversation, Will challenges the stigmas surrounding adoption, emphasizing the importance of normalizing it as just another way to build a family, advocating for better community resources for families, and challenging that the "identity issues" often attributed to adoptees are, in many ways, simply a universal part of the human experience that many experience, regardless of family structure. Finally, Will provides practical advice for those navigating the often unknowns of family building, urging prospective parents to control what they can, remain flexible, and be their own best advocates. He highlights the power of intentionality over perfection when raising biracial children and encourages everyone to challenge the myth of ‘normal’ in family building. Looking for community as you build your family through adoption? Join AllPaths’ free, virtual peer group at https://allpathsfb.org/support/. TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE: family building, adoption journey, multiracial adoption, open adoption, adoption support, parenting an adopted child, adoptive parenting, identity in adoption, adoption agency, resources for adoptive families, navigating adoption, family building stories, connections with birth families, adoption stigma, parenting advice for adoptive families, community support for adoption, cultural heritage in adoption, emotional support for adoptive parents, relationships in adoption, family planning through adoption CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org Follow us on social media @allpathsfb Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at podcast@allpathsfb.org!
April 21 · 46 min
“I can do hard things.”
In this episode, Jessica Attime, a life-long New Englander, shares her transition from waiting for the "perfect time" to start a family to navigating the unpredictable reality of infertility. From the all-consuming effort to conceive to experiencing a heartbreaking miscarriage, Jessica and her husband were eventually given a diagnosis of unexplained infertility. The conversation explores the emotional weight of moving to a process that suddenly becomes highly medicalized as Jessica describes her foray into IVF and her frustrations over communication gaps she’s experienced, specifically the overwhelming logistics of fertility pharmacies, the confusing "second language" of medical acronyms, and the physical toll of self-administering complex medication protocols. She also provides a candid look at the drop off numbers of her two retrieval cycles, detailing the "rude awakening" of her first cycle, which yielded only one viable embryo from eight blastocysts and the despair that can come when your results don’t match the expected statistics. Despite the lack of clear medical answers, Jessica has navigated various physical and emotional hurdles, including a recent hysteroscopy to remove a polyp, by relying on her powerful personal mantra: "I can do hard things." As her journey continues, Jessica emphasizes the necessity of throwing out rigid "life planners" and finding a personal source of strength. She concludes with a sobering reminder that IVF is not an "easy button" or a guarantee, but a process that requires intense self-advocacy and a supportive community to survive the solitude and unknowns. Trying to grow your family is hard, but you are not alone. Here are some resources we recommend for anyone navigating fertility challenges: 🔸 Peer Support Groups Find community and understanding in one of our 20+ free, virtual groups each month. 🔸 WTH? Breaking Down Common Fertility Acronyms This post and accompanying webinar with a reproductive endocrinologist breaks down the jargon and provides a comprehensive guide to the complex landscape of fertility acronyms. 🔸 A Beginner’s Guide to IVF This step-by-step guide, written by a reproductive endocrinologist, covers both the IVF process and ways you can do to prepare for a cycle. 🔸 Exploring SART This article shares how you can use tools and resources from the Society for Assisted Reproduction to help answer questions and make decisions throughout the IVF process. TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE: IVF, unexplained infertility, faith, fertility treatment, PGT testing, geriatric pregnancy, miscarriage, TTC, support, community, patient advocacy, communication, family and friends, support system, AllPaths Family Building, fertility acronyms, beginners guide to IVF, family building, infertility journey, trying to conceive, IVF process, emotional support, fertility treatment, family planning, hormonal health, miscarriage support, reproductive health, fertility resources, pregnancy journey, egg retrieval, IVF success stories, integrative medicine, women's health, stress management during IVF, navigating infertility CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org Follow us on social media @allpathsfb Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at podcast@allpathsfb.org!
April 14 · 28 min
"I Did Find My People": A Conversation with Our New ED
In this episode of the AllPaths podcast, we are excited to introduce the organization's new Executive Director, Lauren Hart Clancy. A longtime volunteer who has led peer support groups and co-chaired our annual Footsteps for Family Building Walk, Lauren brings personal family building experience as well as her professional background in public health, advocacy, and community building to this role. The conversation touches on Lauren’s own family building journey, but for a deeper dive listen to Episode 30 where Lauren shared her family’s story. We also talk about Lauren’s previous volunteer work at AllPaths, including the often-overlooked emotional complexities of "expecting after" and "parenting after" infertility or loss and why “find your people” isn’t just a tagline for our organization, but an integral part of mission. Lauren also outlines her vision for the future of AllPaths, including a major advocacy goal to help Vermont pass a fertility insurance law, which would make New England "six of six" for such legislation and a new community support program that is currently in development. The episode highlights upcoming community milestones like National Infertility Awareness Week and the Footsteps for Family Building walk in October. Finally, the conversation turns to the many ways for individuals and partners to get support and get involved in AllPaths work: 🔸 Find community and understanding in one of our 20+ Free, Virtual Peer Support Groups each month. 🔸 Stay informed and empowered every step of the way with our On-Demand Resource Library. 🔸 Connect with experts in this space through our Directory of Professional Services and Members. 🔸 Hear stories celebrating the many different paths that a family building journey can take families on the AllPaths Podcast each week. 🔸 Join us as we tirelessly Advocate for the Fertility and Family Building Community across New England and beyond. 🔸 Get Involved in our work as a volunteer and partner. 🔸 Donate and shop to help make sure no one walks alone. TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE: IVF, male factor infertility, family building, IVF journey, infertility, fertility treatment, AllPaths Family Building, parenting after infertility, emotional support for parents, community support for families, infertility awareness, family building advocacy, peer support groups, coping with miscarriage, resources for family building, family building education, support for new parents, challenges of parenting, expecting after loss, fertility treatment options, finding your community, nonprofit leadership, Lauren Hart Clancy, Executive Director CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org Follow us on social media @allpathsfb Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at podcast@allpathsfb.org!
April 7 · 48 min
Faith vs. Fertility
In this episode, we welcome Dr. Harrell Jordan, a nurse educator and author who discusses the often-overlooked perspective of male infertility within the Black community. After being diagnosed with a low sperm count and abnormalities early in his marriage, Dr. Jordan shares his multi-year struggle to conceive, which involved failed IVF cycles, surgeries, and the emotional strain of balancing personal faith with medical reality. The "tug of war" he faced while balancing his Christian faith with the biological realities of infertility led him to author his book, Faith vs. Fertility: A Black Man’s Battle Between Belief and Biology, with the goal of dismantling the cultural taboos surrounding reproductive health and encouraging other men to seek support. Dr. Jordan offers a vital perspective on how infertility impacts Black men, noting a significant lack of support groups and the societal pressure that often places the fertility burden solely on women. He reflects on the strain the process placed on his marriage and explains why he and his wife eventually chose to limit who they told about their journey to protect their own emotional well-being. Through his story, he emphasizes the importance of proactive health testing for both partners and the need for a supportive community that offers practical help and listening ears rather than just standard platitudes. Right before receiving his doctorate, Dr. Jordan and his wife discovered that they had surprisingly conceived on their own. The birth of their son, Elijah, Dr. Jordan credits “to God because many doctors, many test results don't line up to the results that we got.” This episode highlights his mission to destigmatize male infertility and encourage other men to embrace healthcare—including mental health counseling—without feeling it diminishes their masculinity. His message is one of openness and resilience, reminding listeners that "nothing is wasted" and that the strength of your relationship remains the most important factor in any family-building journey. Order your copy of Faith vs. Fertility at https://thehjbrand.com/faith-vs.-fertility. TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE: Fibroids, semen analysis, fertility treatment, male factor infertility, IVF, biopsy, varicocele, varicocelectomy, HCG, genetic testing, infertility and relationships, support, community support, prayer, support groups, Christian counselor, journaling, faith, mental health, couples counseling, family building, infertility support, IVF journey, Black men's health, fertility treatment options, emotional toll of infertility, mental health in fertility, male infertility, couples therapy, faith and fertility, support for infertility, navigating IVF, infertility community, coping with infertility, fostering and adoption, fertility journey stories, resources for fertility, understanding infertility, male perspective on infertility, sharing fertility experiences CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org Follow us on social media @allpathsfb Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at podcast@allpathsfb.org!
March 31 · 44 min
A Financial Transaction and a Gift from God
In this episode of the AllPaths podcast, we sit down with Ruthie, a Boston-area school counselor and educator, to discuss her incredibly complex and high-stakes journey to motherhood. Ruthie’s story begins at age 34, when she and her husband, Chris, faced immediate fertility challenges including a blocked fallopian tube and IVF, soon followed by their first miscarriage, which tragically occurred just a week after the sudden death of her father-in-law. The journey grew even more harrowing during a subsequent twin pregnancy when one baby was diagnosed with spina bifida and hydrocephaly, while the other was found to have a potentially fatal chromosomal abnormality. During a procedure intended to manage these complications, both babies were lost and Ruthie suffered a life-threatening hemorrhage, requiring nine blood transfusions. The trauma continued weeks after delivery when Ruthie experienced a near-fatal secondary hemorrhage at work, caused by a rare uterine arteriovenous malformation (AVM) that was narrowly caught by her fertility doctor just before a scheduled hysterectomy. Despite further setbacks with additional miscarriages and failed surrogacy attempts, Ruthie and Chris eventually turned to the "adoption gauntlet.” They first adopted their daughter from Florida during the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic, and later navigated a sudden, complicated legal situation to adopt their daughter’s biological half-brother eighteen months later. Today, Ruthie reflects on the mental health toll of these experiences, including her battle with severe postpartum anxiety and the years of therapy required to process her medical trauma. Her story serves a greater purpose of dismantling the stigma surrounding reproductive grief and serves as a testament to the diverse, often "messy" ways families are built. Throughout the conversation, Ruthie emphasizes the necessity of mental health support and encourages others navigating similar hardships to advocate for themselves and seek community rather than suffering in isolation. TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE: Blocked tube, IVF, miscarriage, pregnancy loss, twin pregnancy, genetic testing, selective reduction, surrogacy, failed cycle, gestational carrier, adoption, private adoption, sibling adoption, family building, infertility journey, adoption stories, IVF experiences, miscarriage support, medical trauma, uterine arteriovenous malformation (AVM), emotional support for parents, surrogacy options, parenting challenges, navigating fertility issues, family growth options, coping with loss, adoption process insights, counseling for parents, pregnancy after loss, mental health in parenting, support for infertility, understanding adoption, family planning resources, building a family, sharing fertility stories CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org Follow us on social media @allpathsfb Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at podcast@allpathsfb.org!
March 24 · 37 min
You May Feel a Bit of Pressure
In this episode of the AllPaths podcast, hosts Emily and Liane sit down with author Amy Gallo Ryan to discuss her infertility memoir, You May Feel a Bit of Pressure: Observations from Infertility's Heart-Wrenching Ride. Amy shares her struggle with unexplained infertility, recounting the grueling process of multiple IVF rounds, the isolation of quitting her job to focus on treatment, and the heartbreak of an ectopic pregnancy followed by emergency surgeries. Despite these challenges, Amy eventually welcomed her daughter, Hazel, and later twins, through a journey that taught her the profound lesson of being out of control. The conversation delves into the emotional "connective tissue" of the fertility experience, which inspired Amy to organize her book by universal emotions such as hope, courage, and shame rather than just medical diagnoses. She reflects on how infertility became an identity marker for her, leading her to transition from women's journalism to writing as a way to process her trauma and reclaim a sense of control. By sharing her story with profound vulnerability, Amy hopes to make others feel "seen" in a way she never was during her own treatment and offers a message of hope to those in the "darkest depths," reminding them that there is a future where this pain will not be their daily reality regardless of the outcome of their journey. TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE: Unexplained infertility, infertility, clomid, IUI, IVF, support, community, control, fresh transfer, frozen transfer, failed cycle, chemical pregnancy, ectopic pregnancy, genetic testing, family building, infertility memoir, emotional support, navigating infertility, women's health, fertility treatment, IVF journey, unexplained infertility, support community, fertility podcast, coping with loss, hopeful stories, family planning, personal experiences, fertility challenges, emotional rollercoaster, sharing stories, women's experiences, building family, connecting through struggles CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org Follow us on social media @allpathsfb Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at podcast@allpathsfb.org!
March 17 · 39 min
Grief Shared Is Grief Divided
In this episode of the AllPaths Podcast, we are joined by Rachel Spekman, a therapist and career strategist from Massachusetts. Rachel shares her arduous three-year journey to motherhood, which involved multiple fertility treatments, multiple losses, and navigating the healthcare system as a same-sex, mixed-race couple. Eventually she had two successful frozen embryo transfers, leading to the birth of her seven-year-old son and three-year-old daughter. Rachel’s story highlights the emotional and physical toll of family building, the "naive innocence" often felt at the start of fertility treatments, and the importance of maintaining a sense of humor through the many "hoops" and administrative hurdles of the process. Rachel also touches upon the specific nuances of her family’s story, including the challenges of finding diverse donor pools and the unexpected joy of connecting with her children's "diblings" (donor siblings). Beyond her path to parenthood, Rachel discusses how these life-altering experiences served as a catalyst for a complete career transformation, prompted in part by a lack of support from her corporate employer when she experienced complications requiring bedrest during her first pregnancy which unfortunately ended in a loss. Today, Rachel uses her personal experiences with grief and professional pivoting to help others navigate major life transitions. She emphasizes the importance of building a "board of advisors" for emotional support, sharing how a curated support system of medical professionals, therapists, and community members helped her navigate isolation and grief and encouraging anyone going through an identity transformation to embrace the philosophy that "grief shared is grief divided." Connect with Rachel at http://www.rachelspekman.com. TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE: family building, infertility journey, LGBTQ family planning, donor conception, fertility support, emotional support in infertility, IVF process, miscarriage, loss, pregnancy loss, grief, LGBTQ+, same-sex family building, mixed-race donor conception, mixed-race couple, parenting after loss, fertility therapy, navigating pregnancy loss, community support for families, personal stories of infertility, coping with miscarriage, family building resources, peer support groups, fertility clinics, identity transformation, mental health in family planning, same-sex parenting, family building stories CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org Follow us on social media @allpathsfb Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at podcast@allpathsfb.org!