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A Year to Understand Yourself

ABSX Network

A Year to Understand Yourself delivers clear explanations of why your twenties feel like a maze and leaves you understanding yourself a little better.

Hi, I'm Louis Dockers. I’m the voice that sits across from you when a question nags at night. I started this show because I kept wondering why so many of our choices in our twenties feel inevitable and yet surprising.

Each episode I unpack the science behind a feeling or habit, speaking plainly, mapping research onto everyday moments, and closing with a thought that lingers. I explore relationships, work, money, mental health, friendship, and everything that makes growing up both thrilling and exhausting. You probably scroll, overthink, and say “I’ll fix it later” without knowing why.

New episodes come out every Thursday and Sunday at 4:00 AM, each one named like a small psychological mirror. This show is for restless twenty-somethings, new graduates finding their feet, and anyone trying to make sense of messy friendships.

If you want to understand a particular knot in your life, this is your place. Follow along and think of the show as a lamp you switch on to see the shapes of what you feel.
Play
  • 24 episodes
  • a few times a week
  • Avg 24 min
  • English
Counted on this page — what you have heard stays on this device, so it is not something the list can be paged by.
  • Yesterday · 29 min

    Six Things You Wish You Knew Earlier About Taking Risks

    You've been standing at the edge of something for a while now, and you already know it. Taking risks isn't about being fearless or having everything figured out, it's about understanding why you keep waiting and what that waiting is actually costing...

    • Transcript
  • Tuesday · 32 min

    Six First Impression Lessons Your Younger Self Needed

    You've probably spent more time replaying a first impression than the other person spent thinking about it at all. First impressions are real, studied, and woven into almost every new relationship, opportunity, and room you walk into. What would you...

    • Transcript
  • October 31 · 29 min

    Stop Waiting to Feel Ready: The Real Science of Discipline

    You know what you want to do. You just can't seem to make yourself do it consistently, and you've probably wondered more than once whether something is wrong with you. This episode is about the motivation-action gap, the well-documented distance...

    • Transcript
  • October 27 · 31 min

    Six Things About Breakups Nobody Tells You Until It's Too Late

    You've done everything people told you to do after a breakup, and somehow you still feel like you're failing at it. Getting over someone isn't a straight line, and most of the advice out there misses the part that actually matters. If you already knew...

    • Transcript
  • October 24 · 24 min

    The Ten Thousand Hour Lie

    You've probably heard that ten thousand hours of practice is what separates the good from the great. It's one of those ideas that sounds like science and spreads like gospel. But what if the study behind it never actually said that, and what does it...

    • Transcript
  • October 20 · 23 min

    How to Fight Better (And Why It Changes Everything About How You Love)

    Most people think fighting less is the goal. But what if the real issue isn't how often you argue, it's how? Arguing well in romantic relationships is a skill, not a personality trait. If you could argue the same fight one more time but better, what...

    • Transcript
  • October 17 · 32 min

    Why Knowing What Others Earn Wrecks Your Sense of Enough

    You check a salary number and something shifts before you can think about it. That feeling has a name, and understanding where it comes from might be the most underrated move in personal finance. When you stop measuring your finances against everyone...

    • Transcript
  • October 10 · 21 min

    Ten Thousand Hours of What Exactly

    You've probably heard the rule. Put in ten thousand hours and you'll master anything. It sounds motivating, maybe even fair. But if ten thousand hours won't make you great, what does the time you put in actually do for you? The number spread so fast...

    • Transcript
  • October 10 · 22 min

    The Self You Build After a Breakup

    You probably told people you were fine before you actually were. Breakup grief is real grief, and the timeline for getting through it is almost always longer than anyone admits out loud. If the person you became after your worst breakup is genuinely...

    • Transcript
  • October 10 · 27 min

    The Fear of Being Judged Is Quietly Running Your Life

    You've probably convinced yourself you're just introverted, or you just prefer smaller gatherings, or you're simply not a phone person. But what if those preferences aren't really yours? Social anxiety is one of the most common and most misunderstood...

    • Transcript
  • October 10 · 20 min

    The Milgram Myth: What the Most Famous Obedience Study Actually Found

    You've probably heard the number before, sixty five percent of ordinary people delivered what they believed were lethal shocks because a scientist told them to. But how much of what you think you know about the Milgram obedience studies is actually...

    • Transcript
  • October 10 · 19 min

    The Perfectionism Loop: Why Good Enough Feels Like Giving Up

    You reread the email after you sent it. You redo the thing nobody asked you to redo. You finish the project and feel nothing except awareness that the next one is already waiting. Perfectionism gets called a strength, but this episode asks whether...

    • Transcript
  • October 10 · 22 min

    The Quiet Goodbye: Why Friendships Fade Without a Fight

    You probably have someone in mind right now, a person you genuinely like, maybe even miss, who you just somehow stopped talking to. This episode is about friendship attrition, the slow, silent disappearance of close relationships that happens without...

    • Transcript
  • October 10 · 24 min

    What You Were Really Shopping For

    You've probably looked at something you bought and wondered why you even got it. Impulse spending is one of the most common and least understood money habits, and the real question isn't about your budget. When you bought the last thing you didn't...

    • Transcript
  • October 10 · 18 min

    The Five Stages of Grief Are Not Science

    You probably learned the five stages of grief the same way most people did, from a pamphlet, a TV show, or a well meaning friend who handed you a list and called it healing. The five stage model is one of the most widely believed frameworks in...

    • Transcript
  • October 10 · 16 min

    The Five Stages Were Never Meant for You

    You've probably heard that grief has five stages, and you may have caught yourself checking which one you're in. The five stage model is one of the most widely repeated ideas in popular psychology, and almost everyone is using it for something it was...

    • Transcript
  • October 10 · 23 min

    The Rush Isn't Love. It's Anxiety in a Good Outfit

    You've felt it before, that overwhelming pull toward someone new that makes you want to lock it in immediately, to plan, to merge, to make it real. This episode is about relationship escalation, the pattern of compressing emotional timelines before...

    • Transcript
Showing 1–20 of 24 episodes