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Whatever Happened to Pizza at McDonald's

Brian Thompson

This is a podcast about whatever happened to pizza at McDonald's.

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20 episodes
Updated Sep 18, 2025

Episodes20

Sep 18, 2025 · 18 min
376 - A Windfall
After working as a personal butler to a deranged, elderly former actress, I inherit her fortune upon her untimely death and use it to procure a communist child heir/apprentice from a Christian adoption agency called Kommie Kids.
Jul 31, 2025 · 10 min
375 - Forgiving Satan
In a follow-up to last week's episode, I question my favorite prayer hotline about why they hung up on me for asking if God and Satan could "bury the hatchet" and allow Devil-worshippers into Heaven.
Jul 26, 2025 · 14 min
374 - RIPizza, Ozzy Osbourne
I would like to induct the pioneering pizza enthusiast Mr. Ozzy Osbourne into my celebrity hall of fame, but hesitate to do so on account of he worshipped Satan. Can I solve this problem by healing the relationship between God and His nemesis, the devil known as The Devil?
Jul 19, 2025 · 16 min
373 - McPizza Bites
Our Canadian deputy journalist files a report on his country's "new" McPizza Bites, which are part of McDonald's Canada's crime-glorifying International Heist Menu.
Jul 10, 2025 · 17 min
372 - Pool Boy
After a long hiatus wherein I was evicted from my New York City apartment and hitchhiked across the United States to return to Los Angeles, I detail the details of my current living situation with a deranged former Hollywood actress in a dilapidated mansion.
May 13, 2025 · 23 min
371 - Slop
My thoughts on the election of the latest pope are put on hold as I deal with a copyright dispute concerning the unauthorized use of my image in a YouTube "thirst trap" video.
Apr 28, 2025 · 14 min
370 - College of Cardinals
I examine Cardinal Pizzaball's potential competition in the race to become the next pope. Plus, I discuss updates on the matter of last year's assassination of a lesser-liked Brian Thompson. And I detail the details of my involvement with a famous 1995 murder trial.
Apr 24, 2025 · 12 min
369 - Farewell, The Pope
I wish a fond farewell to Pope Francis, a.k.a. The Pope, and ruminate on the notion that his passing away might have something to do with my placing U.S. President Donald Trump under citizens' arrest.
Apr 21, 2025 · 14 min
368 - A Special Announcement / Notice
After careful consideration of various crimes committed by the United States presidential administration, and with my role as a citizen as well as an award-pending investigative journalist in mind, I make a special announcement / notice re: a citizen's arrest.
Mar 31, 2025 · 11 min
367 - Group Chat
I solicit help from above in my quest to be accidentally added to a group chat discussing top secret McDonald's secrets.
Mar 25, 2025 · 17 min
366 - Adult Babies
I show support for McDonald's adult-oriented menu items (like pizza) by donning a costume to purchase the new Minecraft adult Happy Meal.
Mar 19, 2025 · 14 min
365 - Facial Recognition
I attempt to trick McDonald's new artificial intelligence facial recognition technology by wearing a rubber fright mask of comedian/talent judge Howard Mandel's face.
Feb 28, 2025 · 15 min
364 - Priest Chat
In my pursuit to join the College of Cardinals so that I might cast a vote for a pizza-friendly pope, I chat online with a friendly priest from PriestChat.com.
Feb 26, 2025 · 13 min
363 - Pope Pizzaballa I
With the current pope in ill health, I pursue the possibility of joining the College of Cardinals so that I might cast a vote for the next pope: Pope Pizzaballa I.
Feb 20, 2025 · 11 min
362 - DOGE
In an attempt to gain better access to government records regard McDonald's Pizza matters (whatever happened to it, etc.), I seek to join the Department of Government Efficiency.
Feb 14, 2025 · 17 min
361 - Plastic Poisoning
Research on Reddit.com leads me to question whether McDonald's stopped serving pizza because too many people were eating the plastic tray on which is was served.
Jan 31, 2025 · 13 min
360 - Altoona-Style Pizza, Part 3
On the conclusion of an epic 3-part saga concerning the horrific Altoona-style pizza, I share the results of my accidental plastic consumption with the Kraft corporation and am rewarded handsomely for the effort.
Jan 29, 2025 · 13 min
359 - Altoona-Style Pizza, Part 2
On the advice of the Kraft corporation, I contact the reference desk at my local public library to determine whether I am in bodily danger from having consumed a Kraft Single with the plastic wrapper still on.
Jan 25, 2025 · 19 min
358 - Altoona-Style Pizza, Part 1
I detail the shocking horror of Altoona-style pizza and suffer my own intestinal mishap in the process.
Dec 31, 2024 · 8 min
357 - New Year Predictions
I contact a professional psychic to answer some questions regarding what to expect in the new year vis-à-vis the potential return of certain fast food items, etc.