FURRY SCHLONG

Are you looking for advice? Do you have a saucy story from travelling the globe? Leave us a voicemail and we might never get back to you... Titty's waking up at 10am in New York sounding like Barry White, Georgie's cracking open a full-fat Coke, and we're already arguing about who got the bigger round of applause last week. (It was the live studio audience. Obviously.) Georgie's checked in with a passport stamp from Tenerife and is about to do eight sea days on a crossing, as a cross-dresser. In What Are You Wearing she's made a sari out of the cabin curtains and the duvet cover, so she can cocoon herself for a nap at any time, and Titty's in a floor-length gown of bodega sandwich foils, pressed by the bodega cat himself, with a neon balaclava and toenails grown into the shape of a LaDuca boot. In Excess Baggage, Titty makes her aerial straps debut as a rhinestoned can of Baja Blast, Georgie tells us about the iron fanny, the hula hoop and the furry schlong, and the crew group chat delivers the stinkiest poo ever. Plus: why men in Halloween costumes give Georgie the ick, the renaissance of the wired headphone, and Titty's run-in with Donna at the Apple Store. In Message in a Bottle, Brandy from Battersea can't stop falling for men who look like they've just been released from prison. Does she kick the habit, or keep taking the 781 bus up to visiting hours? THIS EPISODE IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY MANTRA MATCHA Super premium ceremonial matcha and six superfood-infused flavours. Get 15% off any product with code UPTHEAFT at https://promocode.to/mantra-matcha-blends-with-benefits/uptheaft-be7 Send us your dilemmas in a message in a bottle: DM us on Instagram @uptheaft or leave us a voicemail: https://rss.com/podcasts/uptheaft/voicemail/ Follow us: Up The Aft: @uptheaft Titty Kaka: @titty_kaka Georgie Porgie: @babesitsgeorgieporgie Watch us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@uptheaft Support the show (Diane from Kentucky did, be more like Diane): https://buymeacoffee.com/uptheaft Until next time, stay salty!