transcript
show notes
Being ambitious isn't the problem. Being conscientious isn't either. The problem starts when the standard stops being one you chose and becomes one you owe.
This is the last episode of our four-part burnout series, and we're looking at the unrelenting standards lens: I can do better than that. I should be further ahead by now. I'll relax when it's finished.
That last one is the giveaway, because it never is finished. Clear the standard and it moves.
We talk about why this lens drives burnout from both ends at once — raising the demands because nothing is allowed to be adequate, while removing the resources, because rest, pleasure and limits are the first things to go. And we get to the structural problem underneath it: there's no reliable route from achievement to recovery. Finishing something doesn't release you, it just activates the next demand.
Then what coping looks like here. Submitting and working past your capacity, with procrastination included, because if it can't be done properly it's safer not to start. Opting out and stepping away from the arena altogether. And storming in, which is the one people miss, because tightening control and doubling down after a mistake looks like competence from the outside. You can burn out while appearing to be entirely on top of things.
We also get into something worth knowing about the model: lenses overlap, and one can hand over to another in seconds.
Finally, the Lifeguard — which is not asking you to lower every standard and stop caring — and RESET applied to this lens.
One question to take away: if nobody were assessing you, what would actually be good enough?
Next time: midlife dating. And we want your stories for it — get in touch through the website or send us a DM or voice note on Instagram.
