Why Your Mind Shuts Down To Survive

What happens psychologically when the people meant to protect you become the ones taking away your choices? In this episode of The Notebook, Hiba Balfaqih reflects on her conversation with Rubie, who was just 15 years old when her family took her to another country and forced her into a marriage she had never chosen. Hiba discusses the moments from Rubie’s story that stood out to her and offers her insights into the psychological dynamics behind coercion, control, family loyalty, and betrayal. She explores what happens when harmful behavior is justified through culture or tradition, how a young person learns to survive when resistance doesn’t feel possible, and the lasting impact of having trust and autonomy taken away by the very people meant to provide safety. This episode of The Notebook looks beyond Rubie’s individual experience to unpack the patterns beneath it—and what her story can teach us about control, resilience, and reclaiming the right to choose your own life.