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The Secure Love Podcast with Julie Menanno · February 24 · 1 hr 13 min

S3 | Session 1: Setting the TEMPO to Uncover Deep Wounds

We are kicking off Season 3 with a brand new couple, Rachel and Mike. Unlike previous seasons, we are using an intensive therapy model, diving deep into their dynamic over a compressed timeframe. On paper, Rachel and Mike are a committed power couple running a successful business. But underneath, they are stuck in a painful anxious-avoidant cycle. Rachel has shifted from protesting for connection to silently shutting down to protect herself , while Mike, our avoidant partner, is emotionally completely alone, trying to "fix" her pain from the safety of his head. In this episode, we use the TEMPO model (Trigger, Emotion, Meaning, Protection, Organization) to unpack a recent conflict about family boundaries. We watch the cycle take over, and then pivot away from the surface fight down into the deep, unresolved grief and abandonment driving Rachel's fear. Follow Julie Menanno on social media @thesecurerelationship. For weekly homework assignments visit our website: The Secure Relationship Podcast Take Julie's Anxious Attachment Course: Anxious Attachment: Self-Work Course Purchase Julie's book Secure Love: Create a Relationship That Lasts a Lifetime.

0:00-1:13:17

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show notes

We are kicking off Season 3 with a brand new couple, Rachel and Mike. Unlike previous seasons, we are using an intensive therapy model, diving deep into their dynamic over a compressed timeframe. On paper, Rachel and Mike are a committed power couple running a successful business. But underneath, they are stuck in a painful anxious-avoidant cycle. Rachel has shifted from protesting for connection to silently shutting down to protect herself , while Mike, our avoidant partner, is emotionally completely alone, trying to "fix" her pain from the safety of his head.

In this episode, we use the TEMPO model (Trigger, Emotion, Meaning, Protection, Organization) to unpack a recent conflict about family boundaries. We watch the cycle take over, and then pivot away from the surface fight down into the deep, unresolved grief and abandonment driving Rachel's fear.

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