transcript
show notes
Certainty in dating is a fantasy. There is no milestone, not exclusivity, not "I love you," not moving in, not marriage, that finally makes relationship anxiety go away. In this episode Sabrina breaks down why your brain would rather have a bad answer than no answer, how anxious attachment turns an unanswered text into a story about rejection, and why chasing, overthinking, testing, people pleasing, and checking your phone every five seconds are ways of managing anxiety rather than dating strategies.
She also separates the two kinds of discomfort: walking on eggshells, accepting breadcrumbs, and tolerating mixed signals and inconsistency, versus asking for what you need, setting boundaries, saying no, and letting someone leave. Plus the tool of the week, evidence versus story, a simple practice for catching the narrative your brain invents when you do not have all the information. Secure people are not secure because they have certainty, they have capacity.
Pre-order Sabrina's book coming out October 2026, "Why Am I Like This?"
Get your free workbook and access to the companion course after pre-ordering 'Why Am I Like This?' by filling out the form at the bottom of the page at http://sabrinazohar.com/book
Take the new and improved dating quiz! sabrinazohar.com/quiz
If you’re ready to slow down, trust your instincts, and break your old dating patterns, the Healthy Relationship Foundations Course walks you through it step-by-step HERE!
If you’re serious about changing your dating patterns instead of repeating them, the Art of Going Slow course helps you unlearn urgency, regulate your nervous system, and build real connection without rushing, chasing, or abandoning yourself HERE!
Get Ad free HERE!
Watch on Spotify. Spotify subscribers get fewer ads on my video.
Want to work with Sabrina? HERE!
Get merch for The Sabrina Zohar Show HERE!
Don't forget to follow Sabrina and The Sabrina Zohar Show on Instagram and Sabrina on TikTok! Video now available on YOUTUBE!
Chapters:
00:00 Why certainty in dating is a fantasy
02:58 Why your brain needs an answer now
05:39 Overthinking texts and short replies
08:01 Why not knowing feels so stressful
10:24 Wrong discomfort vs right discomfort
13:12 Do they come back after a break?
15:54 Why control does not make you safer
18:38 Why you attract the same people
21:53 Tool: evidence vs the story
23:48 Why secure people have more capacity
Disclaimer: The Sabrina Zohar Show, formerly known as Do The Work, is not affiliated with A.Z & associates LLC in any capacity.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
