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The Ryan Leak Podcast · August 3 · 11 min

What If They Aren’t Against You?

Your boss gives you tough feedback and you spend the whole weekend convinced they’re trying to push you out. Then Monday comes and they tell you they’re recommending you for a promotion. A friend doesn’t text back for days and you build a whole narrative. They’re pulling away. They don’t care. Then they call and say their mom’s been in the hospital. Ryan unpacks why the story we tell ourselves is almost always worse than what’s actually happening. In this episode, Ryan challenges the habit of assigning motives to people based on incomplete information. What if your coworker isn’t stealing your idea but just excited about it? What if your spouse isn’t criticizing you but just said it wrong? Before you build the case, ask the question. You might be surprised by what you find when you stop fighting people who were never fighting you.

0:00-11:03

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show notes

Your boss gives you tough feedback and you spend the whole weekend convinced they’re trying to push you out. Then Monday comes and they tell you they’re recommending you for a promotion. A friend doesn’t text back for days and you build a whole narrative. They’re pulling away. They don’t care. Then they call and say their mom’s been in the hospital. Ryan unpacks why the story we tell ourselves is almost always worse than what’s actually happening.


In this episode, Ryan challenges the habit of assigning motives to people based on incomplete information. What if your coworker isn’t stealing your idea but just excited about it? What if your spouse isn’t criticizing you but just said it wrong? Before you build the case, ask the question. You might be surprised by what you find when you stop fighting people who were never fighting you.

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