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THE NEW WORK PLAYBOOK · July 14 · 19 min

The Talking Reflex

Listen to Understand, Not to Reply In this episode: The gap between how well managers think they listen and how heard their people actually feel. The three forces behind it: the limits of self-awareness, the lack of honest upward feedback, and a culture that trains leaders to present rather than receive. Why active listening so often becomes a performance without the intention to understand. What deep listening actually does, drawing on Itzchakov and Kluger's research on high-quality listening. The talking reflex and its cost, and why the counter-move is to ask great questions. How power, organisational culture, and now AI undermine our capacity and willingness to listen. Why listening to understand is becoming one of the most valuable qualities a leader can bring. Connect with me: LinkedIn Instagram Website Sources: Itzchakov, G., and Kluger, A. N. The Power of Listening in Helping People Change. Harvard Business Review, 17 May 2018. Eurich, T. What Self-Awareness Really Is (and How to Cultivate It). Harvard Business Review, 4 January 2018. Zenger, J., and Folkman, J. What Great Listeners Actually Do. Harvard Business Review, 14 July 2016. Covey, S. R. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Free Press, 1989. Zao-Sanders, M. How People Are Really Using AI in 2026. Harvard Business Review, 1 June 2026. Episodes referenced: Authenticity Theatre The Power Paradox

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Listen to Understand, Not to Reply

In this episode:

  • The gap between how well managers think they listen and how heard their people actually feel.
  • The three forces behind it: the limits of self-awareness, the lack of honest upward feedback, and a culture that trains leaders to present rather than receive.
  • Why active listening so often becomes a performance without the intention to understand.
  • What deep listening actually does, drawing on Itzchakov and Kluger's research on high-quality listening.
  • The talking reflex and its cost, and why the counter-move is to ask great questions.
  • How power, organisational culture, and now AI undermine our capacity and willingness to listen.
  • Why listening to understand is becoming one of the most valuable qualities a leader can bring.

Connect with me: LinkedIn

Instagram

Website

Sources: Itzchakov, G., and Kluger, A. N. The Power of Listening in Helping People Change. Harvard Business Review, 17 May 2018. Eurich, T. What Self-Awareness Really Is (and How to Cultivate It). Harvard Business Review, 4 January 2018. Zenger, J., and Folkman, J. What Great Listeners Actually Do. Harvard Business Review, 14 July 2016. Covey, S. R. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Free Press, 1989. Zao-Sanders, M. How People Are Really Using AI in 2026. Harvard Business Review, 1 June 2026.

Episodes referenced: Authenticity Theatre The Power Paradox

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