How To Lead People Effectively: Understand Them First

In this episode of The Expert Method, Ian sits down with Jay Jacobson to explore what effective leadership actually looks like when pressure rises, emotions escalate, and there is no clear playbook to follow. Drawing on 45 years in funeral service, Jay shares lessons from moments of real crisis—including his experience responding after the United Flight 232 disaster in Sioux City—and explains why strong leadership begins long before the crisis itself. At the center of his approach is a simple idea: you cannot lead people effectively if you do not first understand them. Ian and Jay discuss the importance of presence, how great leaders slow a room down, why interpersonal skills may become more valuable in an AI-driven world, and how personal values help leaders make better decisions under pressure. They also explore crucial conversations, emotional regulation, mentorship, purpose, and the role families and communities play in developing the next generation of leaders. Jay is the author of Lead by Legendary Example, a leadership book built around six pillars: presence, integrity, vision, servant leadership, adaptability, and mentorship. =============== Jay’s Links: - Website: https://www.jacobsonprostaff.com - LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jayscookies Lead by Legendary Example: https://www.amazon.com/Lead-Legendary-Example-Jay-Jacobson/dp/1970368004 =============== Download the Program Execution System Toolkit: https://implementgpts.com/pestoolkit =============== - My LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ian-gatzke/ - Schedule Free Blueprinting Call: https://api.leadconnectorhq.com/widget/bookings/implement-ai-blueprinting =============== Highlights: 0:00 Episode Highlight 0:46 Leadership Is Built Before Crisis 1:49 Calm the Room First 3:33 Presence Before Leadership 5:40 Leadership Starts With Understanding 7:43 Learn Leadership Through Practice 9:54 Turning Chaos Into a System 13:10 The Pillars of Leadership 14:54 Know Your Personal Mission 17:08 Values Come Before the Job 18:13 How to Handle Crucial Conversations 19:27 Slow Down Before You React 22:09 Model the Behavior You Want 24:42 The Anxious Generation 28:30 Leadership Starts at Home 31:27 Discover What Lights You Up 34:49 The Great Pivot 37:54 Let Yourself Be Mentored 38:28 Make Tomorrow Better