#189: Connection Comes Before Teaching

Building a positive connection with autistic students is one of the most important things we can focus on at the beginning of a new school year. That's why I'm making connection the focus of Week 2 of our Back to School Foundations series. There's something about that second week of school, too. The first few days are behind you, the excitement and whirlwind of getting everyone through the door has settled just a little, and you start realizing, I have a whole room full of children I'm still getting to know. And that takes time. For six weeks, I'm revisiting some of the most important conversations from the Autism Little Learners Podcast and bringing them back at the time of year when you may need them most. This week's conversation originally aired way back in August 2023, during the very first year of the podcast, so there's a pretty good chance you haven't heard this one before. And even if you have, I think it's worth coming back to as you get to know a new group of students. Last week, we talked about what needs to be in place before we really begin teaching. This week, we're slowing down and looking more closely at connection. When a new student walks into your classroom, you might already have an IEP, evaluation reports, goals, and plenty of information about what you're supposed to teach. But none of that replaces getting to know the actual child in front of you. In this episode, I'm sharing simple ways to foster a positive connection with your autistic students and why taking time to learn about their interests, preferences, communication, and cues isn't taking time away from teaching. It becomes part of the foundation for everything you'll do together. Because connection isn't something we check off during the first week of school and move on from. It's something we continue building all year long. In This Episode, You'll Learn Why connection deserves our attention before we become too focused on goals and academics Simple ways to begin building trust with a new autistic student Why a child's interests can be an important doorway into connection How following a child's lead helps us learn more about their communication and interaction Why not every interaction needs to become a teaching opportunity How noticing all forms of communication helps us better understand the child in front of us Why respecting a child's communication, including "no," "stop," and "all done," matters How taking time to build a relationship supports learning throughout the school year Key Takeaways Connection isn't separate from teaching. The time we spend getting to know a child gives us information that can make future learning more meaningful and accessible. An IEP tells us about a student, but it doesn't replace knowing them. Notice what makes them smile, what they move toward, what they avoid, and how they communicate. Interests can be a bridge to connection. Instead of always saving a favorite item or activity as a reward, we can join children in something they already enjoy. Not every interaction needs an agenda. Sometimes we can simply play, imitate, notice, laugh, and enjoy being together without immediately turning the moment into a lesson. Communication comes in many forms. Spoken words, AAC, gestures, facial expressions, body movements, sounds, scripts, reaching, moving toward something, and moving away can all communicate important information. Honoring communication builds trust. When children learn that the adults around them notice and respond to what they're communicating, we're strengthening the relationship. Connection takes time. It isn't a first-week-of-school activity. It's something we continue building and protecting throughout the year. Try This Choose one student you're still getting to know and spend some time simply observing what they enjoy. Notice what they move toward when they have a choice and what they move away from. Join them in something they already love without adding a demand or immediately turning it into a lesson. Look for communication you may have previously missed, including gestures, movement, sounds, AAC, or actions. At the end of the day, instead of only asking, "What did I teach today?" ask yourself, "What did I learn about this child today?" Resources & Links Back to School Foundations Series — This is Week 2 of our six-part series. Start with Episode #188 and follow along as we build from the foundations into connection, regulation, visual supports, transitions, and understanding behavior as communication. Keep Learning — Read the companion blog post about building positive connections with autistic students. New to neurodiversity-affirming language? Read Why We Say "Autistic Child": A Simple Guide to Neurodiversity-Affirming Language. Next Week — We'll continue the Back to School Foundations series with regulation and what it can look like to support it in the classroom.