Raunchy Rhymes

Raunchy Rhymes.

The re-telling of Classic Nursery Rhymes; in narrator form.

Based on posts by Nyissa. Listen to the ► Podcast/a> at Steamy Stories.

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the first annual adult re-telling of popular nursery rhymes. If we could all move in, past the foyer, that's it, all the way in so we may close the doors and get started. Excellent. Well, let's get started shall we. Firstly, I would like to thank the Erotic Arts Society for providing us with the use of their theater spaces and equipment. Without their generous assistance we would not be able to put on this event.

This evening will consist of several nursery rhymes re-told with an adult twist. Refreshments will be provided throughout the evening and tea and coffee is available free of charge. You will also find a bar to the right of the theater room where you are able to purchase alcoholic beverages for the evening. Waiter service will also be provided if you find you are unable to leave your chosen seating.

Alright, as we proceed into the theater space you will observe a variety of toys available for your pleasure. Know that each toy has been sterilized and will continue to be cleaned throughout the evening. On your left are the toilets for your convenience and mutual pleasure, if so desired. Once you have selected your toy, please make yourself comfortable on any of the various cushions, pillows, chairs, or beanbags. Once we are all settled, we will begin. "

Little Miss Muffet

"Our first retelling is of Little Miss Muffet. We all know the common nursery rhyme with the young woman scared by a spider, but this version will have a slight adult adjustment, and it goes without saying all characters are of adult age. We're honored to have Sonia Brightman to present our stories tonight. If we could get the lights dimmed. . . thank you. Here we go. . .

Little Miss Muffet was not so little, except perhaps in stature. Muffy stood approximately five feet tall, comparatively small to the rest of the village, and her parents as it turned out. No one knew why Muffy was so short for her age, but there she was, in her early twenties not much taller than the teens of the village. So, in essence she was a little Miss.

What she lacked in height she well and truly made up for in bosom. One had to wonder if the size and weight of her boobies would cause her back pain or even topple her over. Muffy tightly restricted her ample boobies in a low-cut tunic that produced a mountainous cleavage. She enjoyed the attention she received from the men in the village, especially as she knew none would ever dare touch her.

Muffy led a sheltered life with her strict parents. Her father was well known for his protective nature and the boys and men of the village knew better than to try anything with Muffy for fear of extreme pain and traction, as was the result of the only boy to ever brush by Muffy's restrained bosom.

Muffy did not mind her upbringing, after all, what did she have to compare it to. She did not have friends and kept to herself or by her parent's side. She did, however, have her alone time in the home's luscious gardens. She often got lost in the greenage of hedges and stone. Her favorite spot was a tuffet on the rear edge of the property. From this raised vantage point, she could see over the garden. But more importantly, people passing by could, if they chose to look closely, see her perched on the mound.

Though Muffy abided by her father's strict rules, she enjoyed sitting on her tuffet in her flowing dress, spreading her legs and revealing her naked pussy to the sun. She enjoyed the thrill of someone maybe seeing her nakedness.

Today was no different. She drizzled honey on her curds and whey and headed to her tuffet deep in the garden. Sitting atop the mound she spread her legs and lifted her dress up over her thighs. The cool breeze instantly sent a shiver through her body as she leisurely spooned the warm, sweet treat into her mouth.

So, Little Miss Muffet, sat on her tuffet, eating her curds and whey.

I think, at this point it would be wise to point out that the mound was not a general hill of grass and dirt. The mound resembled the shape of a table with a relatively flat, perhaps slightly curved top and a sheer drop to the ground. It did not stand tall it just produced a shape that will be of importance shortly.

The sun was particularly warm this day. Shortly after finishing her curds and whey, Muffy leaned back laying down on the mound. She dangled her legs over the edge causing a slight arch in her back. She pulled her dress further up over her hips, exposing her glistening pussy to those passing by. Muffy closed her eyes and dozed in the warm rays of the sun.

Along came a spider, who perched beside her. . .

Now, an actual spider would be of no use to us here. Despite Muffy being short, spiders are too small and impractical for our purpose. What did approach, however, was a member of the Spider gang. The Spiders were well known for their aggression and, on occasion, brutality. They were tall, muscular, and commanding of nature. In general, those who saw a Spider coming would run in fear.

On this particular day Muffy did not see the Spider approach. In fact, she was not aware of his presence until the hand was clamped firmly across her mouth. Her eyes shot open, and she glared in fear at the sturdy, strong man before her. She tried to remove his hand, grasping at the thick fingers holding her jaw tightly. Her focus was on the hand and his dark brown eyes that stared at her, a wicked grin forming on his lips.

Muffy jumped as a finger lightly traced her wet lips. She had not realized how excited her body had become at this sudden assault. He raised one eyebrow while slipping a lone finger into her warm pussy. She caught her breath as she felt the protrusion enter her sacred space. Nothing had entered there before, and the feeling was one of pleasure and pain.

She squirmed on the tuffet, trying to escape, but her body released a flood of electricity causing her nipples to press against her tunic and her pussy to gush. With the extra lubricant the Spider slid a second finger inside her. It was a tight squeeze. He wiggled his fingers back and forth, stretching the entrance as he delved deeper into her. The sensations made her legs shake. She could feel a warmth in the pit of her stomach. She felt like she wanted to pee, but didn't.

Muffy didn't know what was happening to her. Her body tingled all over, her stomach felt fluttery, and she had a growing pressure in her pussy. More juices spilled over the hand at her mound as the fingers began to pump in and out of her. Pain filled her body when the fingers were thrust in deep. Pleasure replaced the pain as the fingers were removed.

Muffy's breathing became deeper and quicker. She could feel a tension rising in her pussy. Her toes began to curl as a wave of electricity exploded from her groin, replaced immediately by intense pain as she was stretched wider than she ever thought possible.

The Spider waited patiently, gently driving his fingers into the sweet, innocent pussy before him. First one, then two fingers, spreading them as best he could to prepare her for what was to come. As he felt her body convulse with the orgasm, he slammed his thick throbbing cock into her tight, soaked cunt. She screamed into his hand, still over her mouth. He knew his cock was too big for her, but he pushed in nonetheless, feeling her pussy expand around his rotund rod.

Muffy screamed, her snatch on fire as the hard cock drove into her. She tried to pull herself up off the impalement, but the movement hurt her more. She lay still, tears falling from her eyes. He was deep inside her, not moving, yet. He watched and waited for her breathing to calm before easing his thick muscle out of her. He rested his bulbous head at her lips, watching her wild eyes. As she sucked in a deep breath he plunged back in, his hefty balls slapping her ass.

He started slow, letting her get used to the onslaught of his massive cock. Long, fluid strokes brought him closer and closer to exploding. Her tight pussy gripped his rod fiercely. He felt the tingle in the pit of his stomach and quickened his thrusts. Holding her hip, he pulled her down on his cock with each drive in.

Muffy winced with each stroke. To her surprise her pussy began to twitch once more. A flood of emotions and sensations caused her head to spin as she cried out. Her body betrayed her again, vibrating and spasming pleasure throughout.

He felt her pussy clench around his shaft and rammed it in hard and deep. His cock jerked as he exploded his cum in the depths of her cunt. He filled the small space till it overflowed and dribbled down his balls. Two quick strokes caused a mixture of their juices to dribble out of Muffy's swollen pussy.

Rumor has it Spider's can fuck for hours, cumming multiple times without deflating once. Muffy was about to discover if that rumor was true.

The Spider pulled his still throbbing cock from the elongated cunt of the once innocent Muffy. His hand still over her mouth he walked around to the other side of the tuffet. Linking a hand under one armpit, the Spider pulled Muffy towards him, her head falling over the edge of the mound, her neck stretched long.

Muffy lay still, her body trembling uncontrollably as the wide protrusion was pulled from her aching pussy. She was barely aware of her surroundings, her mind reeling from the events that had just occurred. A cool breeze eased her private area and she briefly relaxed. She felt a hand pull her up the tuffet, and her head drooped over the edge. Realizing the hand was no longer across her mouth, her lips widened to scream.

The Spider released her mouth and lined up his protruding rod with her lips. His shaft sparkled in the sunlight, a mix of his cum and her juices. As she opened her mouth, presumably to scream, he pushed his rod in. The thickness spread her jaw wide. Her teeth grazed his shaft as he pushed deeper into her warm wetness. He felt the vibration of her gag on his knob and paused, holding her fighting hands, waiting for her to relax, before continuing into her throat.

Her scream was stifled by the thick cock pushing between her lips. Her jaw ached as it was forced wide to accommodate the girth. A salty and tangy taste slid along her tongue and she struggled to draw breath. The head of the phallic rod made her gag and choke and she tried to push him away once more. She realized her fighting was futile and tried to relax, praying it would be over soon, or she would pass out.

His cock hit the back of her throat and he waited. Leaning forward, he tapped her clit with his fingers, her small stature aiding in his ministrations. Her body convulsed violently with each tap making her moan on his throbbing rod. His cock twitched with each deep vibration along his shaft. His fingers expertly played her sensitive bud, tapping fast and slow, building the tension to an intense explosion.

Muffy's body quivered as the fingers danced on the nerves in her crotch. With her pussy aching, she was surprised to find her body respond so drastically to the touch. She was exhausted. Every muscle ached, yet fresh juices dripped onto her legs as the warmth grew once again.

The cock in her mouth seemed to swell and jerk each time she moaned but she couldn't stop, the sensations emanating from her nether region was too much for her to keep quiet. Her lips felt like they were splitting under the immense girth of this Spider. Her body tensed and she held her breath as the fingers pressed harder, faster. Butterflies flew madly in her stomach as her clit pulsated and erupted into an electrifying orgasm. Muffy screamed as every muscle spasmed as though she were having a fit.

The Spider could feel his cock straining to release once more. He increased the tap and pressure on her swollen clit, feeling her body tense, she was close. He pressed harder, tapped faster until her throat opened, and she screamed her orgasm. The resonance of her breath forced past his nob was all he needed. His balls tightened and his shaft twitched between her teeth as he painted her throat with his cum.

Spurt after spurt hit the back of her mouth. Muffy gagged a little at first before adjusting to the fluid sliding down her throat. The taste was salty but not unpleasant. She swallowed much of what was forced into her. What couldn't be downed dribbled over her split lips as the thick cock was removed from her.

Muffy was sore. Her mouth ached, her pussy was raw. The assault had taken its toll on her senses and her mind. Her body stung all over. She closed her eyes, letting the warm sun's rays cleanse her. She was vaguely aware of being turned and laying face down on the tuffet.

Along came a Spider, who perched beside her, and fucked Little Miss Muffet all day.

It was mid-afternoon, and the sun began to burn Muffy's bare ass. Her dress had been lifted over her hips and she felt pressure at her puckered entrance. The realization of what was about to occur shocked her into responding. She pleaded with the Spider, begging him to leave her alone. She tried to pull herself over the edge of the tuffet, away from the pain she knew was coming.

The Spider rested his straining cock against her tight ass. He knew this was going to hurt her. He also didn't care. As she pleaded with him and tried to pull away, he grabbed her hips, digging his fingers into her flesh, and held her in place. Slowly he edged his rod into her. She clenched, hoping the resistance was enough to stop him. It wasn't. He pushed harder, pulling her hips back onto him. With a pop his head penetrated the tightest space he had ever encountered. It took all his willpower to not cum then and there.

Her ass was on fire. She felt his head push through ripping her wider. Pain flashed behind her eyes as the breadth of his cock breached her clenched opening. The full length of him pushed into the boundaries of her ass. His balls slapped against her pussy and clit as he began the deep, forceful strokes. Unbelievably, and despite the pain, Muffy felt her body responding to the onslaught. The now familiar pulse of electricity radiated through her. Her whole body writhed in agony and intense pleasure as she came, squirting her juices on the mound beneath her.

The slow, deep strokes brought him closer and closer to a final explosion. As her body thrashed with an overwhelming orgasm he withdrew his cock, flipped her onto her back and straddled her chest. Ripping open her tunic he grabbed her hands placing them on either side of her huge tits squeezing them together as he thrust his cock between them. Rocking his hips, violently fucking her tits with vigor, he shot his final load over her hands and face. His cum coated her tits and dribbled onto her neck.

Spent, the Spider slipped off the tuffet and silently disappeared into the day.

Muffy lay on her tuffet, barely conscious. Her body was raw and broken. Her mind struggled to grasp what had happened, but her pussy and clit were still tingling from the intense pleasure they had received.

So. . . in the end. . .

Little Miss Muffet,

Lay on her tuffet,

Exposed and dripping with cum.

The tall, muscular Spider,

Who came deep inside her,

Vanished, leaving her numb. "

Intermission.

Thank you, Sonia.

"Alright people, we'll take a break there. Freshen up, grab a drink, exchange toys if required. In a moment we will get pizza orders before moving onto the next nursery rhyme. "

And I present the string quartet of the Sigma Epsilon Xi sorority. Who love to work between their spread legs.

MUSIC PLAYS.

"Thank you, Sigma Epsilon Xi, for that wonderful music. Welcome back ladies and gentlemen. Thank you for your pizza requests, they will be delivered at the end of the next story. If you would all like to take your seats, we will be continuing with the re-telling of the classic Georgie Porgie.

The re-telling of Georgie Porgie.

Can I have the lights dimmed once more. . . thank you. Ladies and gentlemen, Sonia Brightman."

"Georgie Porgie was a stout old fellow. He was of average height, nothing special in that, but he had a girth to his appendages that attracted even the most prude of village residents. Somehow Georgie had managed to remain single, despite his expertise in the art of pleasure. His fingers were a replication of his stature, average length, but so thick. Two fingers could easily stretch the pussy of the loosest woman in town. His cock followed suit; average length, or the perfect length as most women and men would attest; but the girth made even the seasoned prostitutes squeal.

Georgie Porgie, Pudding and Pie. . .

Now, Georgie did have a weird attachment to his name, almost a nickname if you will. Many speculated that the origin of this kinky nickname was the reason he was single. As a young man in his early twenties, Georgie was actually a virgin. Having never been with a woman, or man for that matter, he really didn't understand the art of pleasure.

Feeling particularly adventurous, Georgie found love in a chocolate pudding his mother had made. Being a curious young man, Georgie held the bowl in front of him and dangled his limp cock into the bowl. As his head pressed against the springy substance, he felt a jolt of electricity run through his body. His cock immediately hardened. Standing at attention he pushed his throbbing rod forward and tilted the bowl. He closed his eyes as he pulled the bowl to him, slowly pushing his hard cock into the spongy liquid.

The pudding slid along his shaft, sucking him in deeper. His breathing increased as his hips rocked, pulling his cock out of the pudding, then back in. The consistency of the dessert clung to his nob, sucking on him as he withdrew. Feeling his whole body shake he screamed out as he filled the pudding with fresh cream.

Now, had his eyes been open he would have seen his parents, and neighbors rushing in to check on him. But his eyes were closed as he emptied his balls into the bowl. The shocked gasps were his first inclination that something was amiss.

Naturally, the story spread throughout the village and Georgie Porgie became Georgie Porgie Pudding. I think you can see where this is going. Georgie was, of course, caught in a similar situation with a cherry pie and hence became Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie. This kink carried on well into adulthood for Georgie and, though an interesting kink, Georgie learned a lot from devouring both pudding and pie.

So. . .

Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie

Kissed the girls and made them cry.

In addition to the thick cock and fingers that Georgie put to good use, he also had a tongue that could derive great pleasure from anyone. Long, thick and pointed, Georgie had spent many years exercising his tongue on his pie and pudding. The control he had was exquisite, and he enjoyed using it often.

Georgie particularly enjoyed 'kissing' the ladies. He would hover in an office courtyard and wait for the women of the business to come