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Jacob Sanderson releases the official 2026 Slapxis — the four-quadrant matrix (Left/Right on one axis, Slappy/Boomer on the other). Pete, Davis, and Pat debate placements for 40+ players, argue over whether Jonathan Brooks belongs in the Gabe Davis Zone, crown Chris Rodriguez as the top right-wing slappy, and settle the Ramondre vs. Javante debate via grievance politics.
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Timestamps:
0:00:00 - Intro: the Slapxis explained, Jacob's four-quadrant system
0:12:00 - The Gabe Davis Zone: Jonathan Brooks occupies dead center
0:22:00 - Top right corner: Chris Rodriguez's National Review blurb
0:32:00 - Bottom right "get off my lawn": Rhamondre vs. Javonte debate
0:42:00 - Bottom left boomer lib: Devonta Smith & Justin Jefferson
0:50:00 - The Keaton Mitchell debate: left wing or center?
0:58:00 - The ultimate right-wing boomer hates Ship Chasing
the official 2026 Slapxis
jakobsanderson.substack.com
