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Sexual Assault Survivor Stories

Dave Markel

Sexual Assault Survivor Stories -SASS- is a weekly podcast designed for the purpose of providing victims and survivors of sexual assault and rape information and a forum to better understand the complexities, adversities, victories, and all the dynamics of surviving and healing. But it's not just for victims and survivors! It's a podcast of learning about trauma-informed interviewing and the neuroscience of trauma and memory, understanding the victim impact of rape and sexual assault, knowing how to recognize the psychophysiological responses of interpersonal trauma, and developing healing strategies and best-practice responses for all of these components. And the main goal of the podcast is to help bring justice to victims and survivors, recognizing that the best way to do this is by talking about our experiences and spreading information...because we all know someone who has been affected by sexual assault or rape.

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  • 201 episodes
  • Updated Yesterday
  • Explicit

Episodes201

Newest first
  • Yesterday · 56 min

    201. Hannah King (Part 3): Still Hurting. Still Healing. Still Here.

    This week I conclude my three-part conversation with Hannah King. What began with the night she was drugged and violently sexually assaulted has become a much larger story about everything rape can leave behind. Hannah speaks from where she is now, still carrying profound pain while trying to find her way forward. Her journey reminds us that survival can contain grief, anger, uncertainty, courage, and hope all at once, and that a survivor's voice matters even before every wound has healed. Hannah is blunt and forthright. She's honest and transparent. Her strength is unmistakable and commendable. She's all of this, all at once. I hope you take the time to listen to all 3 of her episodes, because what she says and how she says it is powerful and healing. An important side note: if you're finding value in this show and these amazing episodes, please take a moment to leave a 5-star rating on your podcast platform. AND, follow SexualAssaultSurvivorStories on Instagram, then, please send me a note of support. I can't tell you how much your emails mean to me—they fuel my passion to keep this podcast going. And if you're a victim or survivor and are ready to tell your story in order to help yourself or someone else heal, let me know, and we can start a conversation about the possibility of you being on the show. Here's my email address: dave@sasstories.com Thank you to all of you who have reached out to me already. Just provide me with a phone number where I can reach back out to you…because I like to talk to people who are interested in guesting. And please keep those emails and texts coming…I truly look forward to hearing from you and hearing your input on the stories and guests featured on this show. Here are some critically important links that I hope you'll take the time to explore, and where a contribution is requested, please consider doing so! https://1in6.org/ https://soulwisesolutions.com https://safeinharmsway.org https://sironahealing.com/ https://www.whattheydontsay.com www.arcigrey.com https://startbybelieving.org https://evawintl.org/ As mentioned, and emphasized, it's time to Normalize the Conversation.™ And please remember to Start by Believing…because we all know someone whose life has been impacted by rape or sexual assault. Thank you for tuning in. -Dave

  • July 29 · 23 min

    200. Hannah King (Part 2): What Rape Took From Her Didn't End That Night

    This week on Sexual Assault Survivor Stories, I continue my conversation with Hannah King in Part Two of a three-part series. Episode 200 picks up directly where Part One ended, allowing Hannah to continue telling her story in her own words and at her own pace. In Part One, Hannah began sharing her experience of being drugged and violently sexually assaulted while outside the United States. She also began describing the devastating impact the assault had on her life. In this second installment, I continue my conversation with Hannah as she shares more of an experience that is deeply personal, painful, and difficult to revisit. I'm presenting Hannah's story across three episodes so that it can be heard without being rushed or reduced to a brief account of what happened to her. If you haven't listened to Part One, I encourage you to begin there before continuing with this episode. Part Three and the conclusion of my conversation with Hannah will be released next week. Episode 200 is also an important milestone for the SASS Podcast. Reaching this point has only been possible because of the survivors who have trusted me with their stories and the listeners who continue to hear them, share them, and support the mission of this show. An important side note: if you're finding value in this show and these amazing episodes, please take a moment to leave a 5-star rating on your podcast platform. AND, follow SexualAssaultSurvivorStories on Instagram, then, please send me a note of support. I can't tell you how much your emails mean to me—they fuel my passion to keep this podcast going. And if you're a victim or survivor and are ready to tell your story in order to help yourself or someone else heal, let me know, and we can start a conversation about the possibility of you being on the show. Here's my email address: dave@sasstories.com Thank you to all of you who have reached out to me already. Just provide me with a phone number where I can reach back out to you…because I like to talk to people who are interested in guesting. And please keep those emails and texts coming…I truly look forward to hearing from you! Here are some critically important links that I hope you'll take the time to explore, and where a contribution is requested, please consider doing so! https://1in6.org/ https://soulwisesolutions.com https://safeinharmsway.org https://sironahealing.com/ https://www.whattheydontsay.com www.arcigrey.com https://startbybelieving.org https://evawintl.org/ As mentioned, and emphasized, it's time to Normalize the Conversation.™ And please remember to Start by Believing…because we all know someone whose life has been impacted by rape or sexual assault. Thank you for tuning in. -Dave

  • July 22 · 44 min

    199. Hannah King (Part 1): The Long Road Begins Here

    Some stories simply can't be told in a single conversation. This week begins a special three-part series with Hannah King, whose life changed forever after she was drugged and violently sexually assaulted while traveling outside the United States. In the months that followed, she found herself unable to return to the work she loved while focusing instead on surviving the emotional, psychological, and physical effects of trauma. Supported by her family, she began the difficult process of rebuilding a life that had been unexpectedly interrupted. In Part One, Hannah shares the beginning of that journey. Rather than rushing through the details, she takes us into the reality of what happened and the immediate aftermath that followed. Her willingness to speak openly about those first days and weeks provides an honest look at how profoundly trauma can affect every aspect of a survivor's life. This conversation lays the foundation for the deeper discussions that will continue in Parts Two and Three. One of the things I hope you'll hear throughout this series is that healing is rarely a straight line. Recovery isn't measured by how quickly someone "gets over it." Instead, it's often found in the quiet decision to keep moving forward one day at a time. Hannah's courage in sharing her experience is a gift to survivors everywhere, and I believe each episode in this series builds upon the one before it. If Hannah's story resonates with you, I hope you'll not only share this episode, but also return next week as her journey continues in Part Two. An important side note: if you're finding value in this show and these amazing episodes, please take a moment to leave a 5-star rating on your podcast platform. AND, follow SexualAssaultSurvivorStories on Instagram, then, please send me a note of support. I can't tell you how much your emails mean to me—they fuel my passion to keep this podcast going. And if you're a victim or survivor and are ready to tell your story in order to help yourself or someone else heal, let me know, and we can start a conversation about the possibility of you being on the show. Here's my email address: dave@sasstories.com Thank you to all of you who have reached out to me already. Just provide me with a phone number where I can reach back out to you…because I like to talk to people who are interested in guesting. And please keep those emails and texts coming…I truly look forward to hearing from you! Here are some critically important links that I hope you'll take the time to explore, and where a contribution is requested, please consider doing so! https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-my-daughter-rebuild-her-life-after-assault?utm_source=ig&utm_medium=social&utm_content=link_in_bio&fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAc3J0YwZhcHBfaWQPOTM2NjE5NzQzMzkyNDU5AAGn42fXw4WgcITWIo_CZ5J14iLwQV2ry6GbodnzD0Zm6Vg0oP5ohPyGusU-aYI https://www.instagram.com/thehannahbking/?hl=en https://1in6.org/ https://soulwisesolutions.com https://safeinharmsway.org https://sironahealing.com/ https://www.whattheydontsay.com www.arcigrey.com https://startbybelieving.org https://evawintl.org/ As mentioned, and emphasized, it's time to Normalize the Conversation.™ And please remember to Start by Believing…because we all know someone whose life has been impacted by rape or sexual assault. Thank you for tuning in. -Dave

  • July 14 · 53 min

    198. Lyndsey Hackford: The Abuse I Thought Was Love

    Domestic violence doesn't usually begin with violence. It often begins with what appears to be love. Small compromises become expectations. Isolation is disguised as protection. Control masquerades as concern. Little by little, the person you once were begins to disappear, often without you even realizing it's happening. Domestic violence survivor and advocate Lyndsey Hackford joined me to discuss her journey through years of coercive control, emotional abuse, physical violence, and the incredibly difficult process of rebuilding her life after escaping an abusive marriage. Lyndsey speaks candidly about the psychological realities of abuse, why leaving is often the most dangerous time for a survivor, and the long road toward rediscovering confidence, identity, and hope. Today, Lyndsey uses her experience to advocate for survivors across the country through speaking engagements and her own podcast, Living in the Aftermath, where she creates space for honest conversations about trauma, healing, resilience, and life beyond abuse. Whether you're a survivor, someone who loves a survivor, or simply want a deeper understanding of how domestic violence really works, this is a conversation you won't soon forget. An important side note: if you're finding value in this show and these amazing episodes, please take a moment to leave a 5-star rating on your podcast platform. AND, follow SexualAssaultSurvivorStories on Instagram, then, please send me a note of support. I can't tell you how much your emails mean to me—they fuel my passion to keep this podcast going. And if you're a victim or survivor and are ready to tell your story in order to help yourself or someone else heal, let me know, and we can start a conversation about the possibility of you being on the show. Here's my email address: dave@sasstories.com Thank you to all of you who have reached out to me already. Just provide me with a phone number where I can reach back out to you…because I like to talk to people who are interested in guesting. And please keep those emails and texts coming…I truly look forward to hearing from you! Here are some critically important links that I hope you'll take the time to explore, and where a contribution is requested, please consider doing so! Lyndsey's Podcast Living in the Aftermath with Lyndsey https://livingintheaftermath.com/ (official website, if available through her podcast branding) (Apple Podcasts) Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/living-in-the-aftermath-with-lyndsey/id1832389204 (Apple Podcasts) Social Media Instagram: @living.inthe.aftermath (Apple Podcasts) Personal Instagram: @lyndseyh6723 (Apple Podcasts) Listen to Other Interviews with Lyndsey That's Where I'm At : "Living in the Aftermath with Lyndsey Hackford: Stories of Survival, Advocacy, and Hope Beyond Abuse" (sites.libsyn.com) Shattered Silence Podcast : "Healing After Domestic Violence" (Apple Podcasts) The Rollercoaster Podcast: "I Was Abused But Thought It Was Love…" (Spotify) Media Coverage FOX 13 Utah "Utah survivor of domestic violence shares her story from victim to advocate." (FOX 13 News Utah (KSTU)) Daily Herald "Healthy Relationships Should Be for Everyone" (featuring Lyndsey's advocacy work). (heraldextra.com) Domestic Violence Resources Mentioned The Refuge Utah https://therefugeutah.org National Domestic Violence Hotline https://www.thehotline.org Call: 800-799-SAFE (7233) https://1in6.org/ https://soulwisesolutions.com https://safeinharmsway.org https://sironahealing.com/ https://www.whattheydontsay.com www.arcigrey.com https://startbybelieving.org https://evawintl.org/ As mentioned, and emphasized, it's time to Normalize the Conversation.™ And please remember to Start by Believing…because we all know someone whose life has been impacted by rape or sexual assault. Thank you for tuning in. -Dave

  • July 7 · 49 min

    197. Cherry Fargo: A Grandmother's Courage Leads to a Survivor's Strength

    Childhood sexual abuse leaves wounds that often extend far beyond the abuse itself. It can shape a person's identity, relationships, sense of worth, and even their understanding of faith, trust, and safety. Yet, as difficult as the healing journey may be, recovery is possible. In Episode 197, Cherry Fargo shares her remarkable story of surviving years of childhood sexual abuse, emotional manipulation, and family trauma. She opens up about the pivotal role her grandmother played in protecting her, the complicated emotions surrounding her mother's response, the devastating losses she experienced later in life, and the long road that eventually led her to healing. Along the way, Cherry offers honest insight into the realities of trauma, the importance of supportive community, and the intentional work required to move beyond survival. Today, Cherry is an author, coach, and passionate advocate for survivors of childhood abuse. Her practical approach to healing encourages survivors to recognize the past without remaining trapped by it, rediscover their true identity, and move forward with purpose and hope. Whether you're a survivor yourself, love someone who is, or simply want to better understand the lifelong impact of childhood trauma, this conversation offers compassion, wisdom, and encouragement that you won't soon forget. An important side note: if you're finding value in this show and these amazing episodes, please take a moment to leave a 5-star rating on your podcast platform. AND, follow SexualAssaultSurvivorStories on Instagram, then, please send me a note of support. I can't tell you how much your emails mean to me—they fuel my passion to keep this podcast going. And if you're a victim or survivor and are ready to tell your story in order to help yourself or someone else heal, let me know, and we can start a conversation about the possibility of you being on the show. Here's my email address: dave@sasstories.com Thank you to all of you who have reached out to me already. Just provide me with a phone number where I can reach back out to you…because I like to talk to people who are interested in guesting. And please keep those emails and texts coming…I truly look forward to hearing from you! Here are some critically important links that I hope you'll take the time to explore, and where a contribution is requested, please consider doing so! One of the most critical links below that I hope you'll take advantage of is the upcoming free coaching workshop that Cherry is presenting next month! — Thank you!! Overcoming Shame, Finding Freedom: (Cherry's book, available on Amazon) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CGL9TC9C Being Remade - Website https://beingremade.org Coaching: Upcoming FREE workshop Aug 12th - 15: Move Forward Challenge https://app.paperbell.com/checkout/packages/223170 Upcoming Fall Online Group Coaching Cohort: Traumas to Transformations https://app.paperbell.com/checkout/packages/219433 FREE 20 minute Heart to Heart Call, From One Survivor to Another https://app.paperbell.com/checkout/packages/184458 https://1in6.org/ https://soulwisesolutions.com https://safeinharmsway.org https://sironahealing.com/ https://www.whattheydontsay.com www.arcigrey.com https://startbybelieving.org https://evawintl.org/ As mentioned, and emphasized, it's time to Normalize the Conversation.™ And please remember to Start by Believing…because we all know someone whose life has been impacted by rape or sexual assault. Thank you for tuning in. -Dave

  • July 3 · 51 min

    196. Susan Bisaha: When Trust Hides Abuse

    One of the most common misconceptions about child sexual abuse is the belief that children always know they're being abused. The reality is often far more complicated. In this episode, I sit down with Susan Bisaha, a licensed professional counselor, survivor of clergy sexual abuse, and author of And The Lotus Shall Rise: My Journey Through Clergy Sex Abuse. Susan shares the deeply personal story of being sexually abused by a trusted priest over the course of seven years while never fully understanding that what was happening to her was abuse. As a child, she simply didn't possess the life experience or developmental understanding to recognize that someone she trusted was manipulating and exploiting her. It wasn't until years later, while working with a therapist, that she finally came to understand the truth about what she had endured. Having investigated child sexual assault cases for many years, I've seen firsthand that Susan's experience is far from unique. Children often rely on trusted adults to define what is normal, appropriate, and safe. When that trust is intentionally violated by an offender, confusion can become one of the lasting consequences, delaying recognition and disclosure for years or even decades. Susan's story is both heartbreaking and hopeful. It reminds us that a child's inability to recognize abuse never changes the reality of what occurred, nor does it lessen the responsibility of the offender. Her journey from confusion to understanding, and ultimately to healing, offers hope to survivors who may still be trying to make sense of their own experiences. I believe this is a conversation every survivor, loved one, and professional working with victims should hear. An important side note: if you're finding value in this show and these amazing episodes, please take a moment to leave a 5-star rating on your podcast platform. AND, follow SexualAssaultSurvivorStories on Instagram, then, please send me a note of support. I can't tell you how much your emails mean to me—they fuel my passion to keep this podcast going. And if you're a victim or survivor and are ready to tell your story in order to help yourself or someone else heal, let me know, and we can start a conversation about the possibility of you being on the show. Here's my email address: dave@sasstories.com Thank you to all of you who have reached out to me already. Just provide me with a phone number where I can reach back out to you…because I like to talk to people who are interested in guesting. And please keep those emails and texts coming…I truly look forward to hearing from you! Here are some critically important links that I hope you'll take the time to explore, and where a contribution is requested, please consider doing so! — Thank you!! https://www.threads.com/@susan669791 https://andthelotusshallrise.com/ https://1in6.org/ https://soulwisesolutions.com https://safeinharmsway.org https://sironahealing.com/ https://www.whattheydontsay.com www.arcigrey.com https://startbybelieving.org https://evawintl.org/ As mentioned, and emphasized, it's time to Normalize the Conversation.™ And please remember to Start by Believing…because we all know someone whose life has been impacted by rape or sexual assault. Thank you for tuning in. -Dave

  • June 23 · 47 min

    195. Jason Patrick Berry: Some Episodes Are Worth Repeating

    Some episodes are worth repeating…this is one of them. Jason's story is one that quietly breaks your heart and then slowly helps rebuild it. On the outside, his childhood looked perfectly normal, even picturesque. But behind closed doors lived a painful reality of abuse, secrecy, and survival that no child should ever have to experience. In Secrets Beneath, Jason pulls back that veil and walks us through the lasting impact of trauma, including post trauma stress, anxiety, and emotional isolation, while also showing what it looks like to keep choosing healing day by day. This conversation is personal, raw, and deeply human. Born and raised in Connecticut and now living in Florida with his husband Shaun and their two beloved dogs, Jason brings not only his survivor voice into this space, but his heart for wellness, recovery, and holistic self-care. He speaks openly about how reconnecting with nature, creating mindful routines around health, and learning to nurture his body and nervous system have become essential parts of his healing journey. There is no polished recovery narrative here, only an honest reflection of what healing truly looks like. Layered, imperfect, courageous, and ongoing. The kind of truth that lets listeners exhale and quietly think, "I am not alone in this." What struck me most in this conversation is Jason's willingness to be completely seen. Not as some inspirational figure wrapped up in a neat storyline, but as a real person still walking the road of healing, still learning, and still refusing to allow his abuse experiences to define the rest of his life. His openness about living with anxiety and frequent memory activators brings powerful validation to experiences so many survivors silently hold inside. Jason does not minimize the pain, but he also refuses to ever give up hope. His voice is gentle, steady, and deeply relatable in all the best ways, and the motivation is to always help others who've experienced similar abuse. This episode reflects the very heart of Sexual Assault Survivor Stories. Amplifying survivor voices, dismantling silence, and reminding every listener that healing is not only possible, it's allowed. Jason shares the truth many are afraid to speak aloud, and in doing so creates space for others to discover their own courage. I am genuinely grateful for his vulnerability and for the trust he placed in this platform to tell his story. Secrets Beneath is not just a memoir, and this episode is not just an interview. It is a conversation that invites others to speak, to heal, and to believe that life can hold more than what trauma ever tried to dictate. An important side note: if you're finding value in this show and these amazing episodes, please take a moment to leave a 5-star rating on your podcast platform. AND, follow SexualAssaultSurvivorStories on Instagram, then, please send me a note of support. I can't tell you how much your emails mean to me—they fuel my passion to keep this podcast going. And if you're a victim or survivor and are ready to tell your story in order to help yourself or someone else heal, let me know, and we can start a conversation about the possibility of you being on the show. Here's my email address: dave@sasstories.com Thank you to all of you who have reached out to me already. Just provide me with a phone number where I can reach back out to you…because I like to talk to people who are interested in guesting. And please keep those emails and texts coming…I truly look forward to hearing from you! Here are some critically important links that I hope you'll take the time to explore, and where a contribution is requested, please consider doing so! — Thank you!! https://www.jasonpatrickberry.com https://a.co/d/bQkH0IA (Order Jason's book on Amazon!) https://1in6.org/ https://soulwisesolutions.com https://safeinharmsway.org https://sironahealing.com/ https://www.whattheydontsay.com www.arcigrey.com https://startbybelieving.org https://evawintl.org/ As mentioned, and emphasized, it's time to Normalize the Conversation.™ And please remember to Start by Believing…because we all know someone whose life has been impacted by rape or sexual assault. Thank you for tuning in. -Dave

  • June 16 · 18 min

    194. Cheryl Wright: What Healing Really Looks Like

    When Cheryl Wright first appeared on Sexual Assault Survivor Stories in January of 2024, she shared her experiences with honesty, courage, and a willingness to help others feel less alone. Today, Cheryl returns for a short update conversation. We talk about what's changed during the past two years, what challenges she's faced, and where she finds herself today. As is often the case, healing has not followed a straight line, but Cheryl continues to move forward with determination and insight. I appreciate Cheryl's willingness to come back and let listeners hear the next chapter of her journey. I think you'll find value in hearing not only where she has been, but also where she is now. An important side note: if you're finding value in this show and these conversations, please consider leaving a 5-star rating on your podcast platform—it truly helps more people find these stories. You can also follow Sexual Assault Survivor Stories on Instagram and send me a note of support. I can't tell you how much your emails mean to me—they fuel my passion to keep this podcast going. And if you're a victim or survivor and you feel like you might be ready to share your story—whether for your own healing or to help someone else—reach out to me. We can start a conversation, with no pressure and no expectations. You can email me directly at dave@sasstories.com. Please include a phone number where I can reach you, because I genuinely prefer to talk with people who are considering guesting. Thank you to everyone who has already reached out—and please keep those emails coming. I truly look forward to hearing from you. Here are some critically important links that I hope you'll take the time to explore. Where a contribution is requested, please consider doing so. Thank you—for listening, for believing survivors, and for being part of this community. https://placesnowhere.com/victorious-voices https://the network studios https://www.stillwholewellness.com/ https://www.projectcallisto.org/https://documenttheabuse.org/ https://hassl.uk/ https://saprea.org/ https://1in6.org/ https://time.com/wpcontent/uploads/2014/09/repeat_rape.pdf?utm_source=chatgpt.com https://safeinharmsway.org https://startbybelieving.orghttps://evawintl.org/ As mentioned, and emphasized, it's time to Normalize the Conversation.™ And please remember to Start by Believing…because we all know someone whose life has been impacted by rape or sexual assault. (Check out https://evawintl.org/ & https://startbybelieving.org for more information on "Start By Believing"!) Thank you for tuning in. --Dave

  • June 9 · 7 min

    193. Dave Markel: Solo Part 2; Something You Should Know

    For the first time in quite a while, I found myself without a guest interview ready to release. Between family visits, personal responsibilities, and the realities of life occasionally getting ahead of all of us, I simply ran out of runway this week. Rather than leave you with silence, I decided to sit down behind the microphone and spend a few minutes talking directly with you. As Sexual Assault Survivor Stories approaches its 200th episode, I've been reflecting on what this journey has meant to me. When I started this podcast, I had no idea where it would lead. I simply believed there was value in creating a space where survivors could tell their stories in their own words, without interruption, judgment, or pressure to fit someone else's narrative. Nearly two hundred episodes later, that belief remains unchanged. In this brief episode, I share some thoughts about listening, storytelling, and the lessons I've learned from spending years in conversation with survivors. We often talk about awareness, education, and advocacy, all of which are important. But one of the things this podcast has continually reminded me is that genuine understanding usually begins when we're willing to listen long enough to hear another person's experience as they lived it. Most of all, this episode is simply a thank you. Thank you for listening, for supporting the show, for sharing these conversations with others, and for helping create a community where survivors know their voices matter. I have some outstanding guests scheduled in the weeks ahead, and I'm looking forward to bringing those conversations to you very soon. An important side note: if you're finding value in this show and these conversations, please consider leaving a 5-star rating on your podcast platform—it truly helps more people find these stories. You can also follow Sexual Assault Survivor Stories on Instagram and send me a note of support. I can't tell you how much your emails mean to me—they fuel my passion to keep this podcast going. And if you're a victim or survivor and you feel like you might be ready to share your story—whether for your own healing or to help someone else—reach out to me. We can start a conversation, with no pressure and no expectations. You can email me directly at dave@sasstories.com. Please include a phone number where I can reach you, because I genuinely prefer to talk with people who are considering guesting. Thank you to everyone who has already reached out—and please keep those emails coming. I truly look forward to hearing from you. Here are some critically important links that I hope you'll take the time to explore. Where a contribution is requested, please consider doing so. Thank you—for listening, for believing survivors, and for being part of this community. Instagram handle: victorious_voices24 https://placesnowhere.com/victorious-voices https://the network studios https://www.stillwholewellness.com/ https://www.projectcallisto.org/https://documenttheabuse.org/ https://hassl.uk/ https://saprea.org/ https://1in6.org/ https://time.com/wpcontent/uploads/2014/09/repeat_rape.pdf?utm_source=chatgpt.com https://safeinharmsway.org https://startbybelieving.org https://evawintl.org/ As mentioned, and emphasized, it's time to Normalize the Conversation.™ And please remember to Start by Believing…because we all know someone whose life has been impacted by rape or sexual assault. (Check out https://evawintl.org/ & https://startbybelieving.org for more information on "Start By Believing"!) Thank you for tuning in. --Dave

  • June 2 · 13 min

    192. Dave Markel: After Nearly 200 Episodes, The Stories Are Not What Stayed With Me

    This week's episode is a little different. There is no guest joining me behind the microphone tonight. Instead, I wanted to take a few minutes to reflect on something I've been thinking about as Sexual Assault Survivor Stories approaches two hundred episodes. Over the past four years, I've had the extraordinary privilege of speaking with survivors, advocates, counselors, researchers, physicians, attorneys, investigators, and educators from around the world. Together, we've explored some of the most difficult realities a human being can endure. Yet when I look back across all those conversations, what remains with me most vividly is not the trauma itself. It's the people. In this short, personal episode, I share some thoughts about resilience, human dignity, and the remarkable capacity people possess to move forward after profound suffering. I also reflect on the countless professionals and advocates who quietly dedicate their lives to helping others heal, and on the listeners who continue to make this community possible. If you've ever wondered what nearly two hundred conversations about trauma, recovery, and hope have taught me, this episode is my attempt to answer that question. An important side note: if you're finding value in this show and these conversations, please consider leaving a 5-star rating on your podcast platform—it truly helps more people find these stories. You can also follow Sexual Assault Survivor Stories on Instagram and send me a note of support. I can't tell you how much your emails mean to me—they fuel my passion to keep this podcast going. And if you're a victim or survivor and you feel like you might be ready to share your story—whether for your own healing or to help someone else—reach out to me. We can start a conversation, with no pressure and no expectations. You can email me directly at dave@sasstories.com. Please include a phone number where I can reach you, because I genuinely prefer to talk with people who are considering guesting. Thank you to everyone who has already reached out—and please keep those emails coming. I truly look forward to hearing from you. Here are some critically important links that I hope you'll take the time to explore. Where a contribution is requested, please consider doing so. Thank you—for listening, for believing survivors, and for being part of this community. https://placesnowhere.com/victorious-voices https://the network studios https://www.stillwholewellness.com/ https://www.projectcallisto.org/https://documenttheabuse.org/ https://hassl.uk/ https://saprea.org/ https://1in6.org/ https://time.com/wpcontent/uploads/2014/09/repeat_rape.pdf?utm_source=chatgpt.com https://safeinharmsway.org https://startbybelieving.org https://evawintl.org/ As mentioned, and emphasized, it's time to Normalize the Conversation.™ And please remember to Start by Believing…because we all know someone whose life has been impacted by rape or sexual assault. (Check out https://evawintl.org/ & https://startbybelieving.org for more information on "Start By Believing"!) Thank you for tuning in. --Dave

  • May 27 · 41 min

    191. Lee Cooper: The Conversation That Crossed an Ocean

    Before we get started, I want to extend my sincere gratitude to The Network Studios in Culver City for making this week's episode recording possible. From the ease of scheduling to their outstanding facilities and podcast production expertise, the entire experience was exceptional. A special thank you goes to studio owner Kenyon, whose generosity, kindness, hospitality, and willingness to help made us feel welcome from the moment we arrived. For more information or to schedule a session when you're in the Southern California area, contact TNS at the URL below. For years, Lee Cooper and I have spoken across an ocean. We've recorded podcast episodes together, exchanged messages, supported one another's work, and watched each other's journeys unfold from opposite sides of the world. This week, that changed. After years of conversations through microphones and computer screens, Lee and I finally sat down together in the same room to record this episode from Southern California. Longtime listeners may remember Lee from previous appearances on the podcast, where he courageously shared his experience of surviving childhood sexual abuse and spoke openly about the challenges, setbacks, and victories that accompanied his healing journey. He later returned to introduce Victorious Voices, a survivor community he created to help people impacted by sexual trauma find connection, understanding, and support. Since then, that vision has continued to expand. What began as one survivor's decision to break his silence has grown into an international movement that brings survivors together through community, advocacy, conversation, creativity, and shared understanding. Lee is also an extraordinarily talented photographer whose work has been exhibited internationally. Through the Victorious Voices Portrait Project, survivors are invited to step in front of the camera and reclaim ownership of how they are seen. The portraits are not about victimization. They are about humanity, dignity, resilience, courage, and hope. During Lee's recent visit to Southern California, he invited me to participate in the project myself. It was a tremendous honor and a deeply meaningful experience that made this conversation even more special. This episode is about much more than photography. It's about friendship, healing, purpose, and what becomes possible when survivors refuse to remain invisible. Lee's work continues to challenge silence while creating spaces where people can be seen, heard, believed, and supported. If you've ever wondered how one person's decision to tell the truth can grow into something that impacts lives around the world, I think you'll find this conversation both powerful and unforgettable. An important side note: if you're finding value in this show and these conversations, please consider leaving a 5-star rating on your podcast platform—it truly helps more people find these stories. You can also follow Sexual Assault Survivor Stories on Instagram and send me a note of support. I can't tell you how much your emails mean to me—they fuel my passion to keep this podcast going. And if you're a victim or survivor and you feel like you might be ready to share your story—whether for your own healing or to help someone else—reach out to me. We can start a conversation, with no pressure and no expectations. You can email me directly at dave@sasstories.com. Please include a phone number where I can reach you, because I genuinely prefer to talk with people who are considering guesting. Thank you to everyone who has already reached out—and please keep those emails coming. I truly look forward to hearing from you. Here are some critically important links that I hope you'll take the time to explore. Where a contribution is requested, please consider doing so. Thank you—for listening, for believing survivors, and for being part of this community. Instagram handle: victorious_voices24 https://placesnowhere.com/victorious-voices https://the network studioshttps://www.stillwholewellness.com/ https://www.projectcallisto.org/https://documenttheabuse.org/ https://hassl.uk/https://saprea.org/ https://1in6.org/ https://time.com/wpcontent/uploads/2014/09/repeat_rape.pdf?utm_source=chatgpt.com https://safeinharmsway.org https://startbybelieving.org https://evawintl.org/ As mentioned, and emphasized, it's time to Normalize the Conversation.™ And please remember to Start by Believing…because we all know someone whose life has been impacted by rape or sexual assault. (Check out https://evawintl.org/ & https://startbybelieving.org for more information on "Start By Believing"!) Thank you for tuning in. --Dave

  • May 19 · 35 min

    190. Dr. Lori: Healing Every Day After Sexual Trauma

    Dr. Lori from Still Whole Wellness returns to the show for a deeply thoughtful conversation about healing, spirituality, trauma, boundaries, self-worth, and the daily work of becoming whole again after sexual trauma. This isn't surface-level self-help language. It's an honest discussion about what healing requires when trauma has impacted the way you think, speak to yourself, trust yourself, and move through the world. We talk about the idea that healing isn't something that only happens inside a therapist's office once a week. It's something that must become intentional every single day. Dr. Lori explains how unresolved trauma can quietly shape every area of a person's life, from relationships and physical health to self-talk, spirituality, and personal boundaries. She also shares how her own experiences ultimately led her to create Still Whole Wellness and write her book, Still Whole: A Blueprint for Healing. One of the most powerful parts of this conversation centers around boundaries. Dr. Lori explains why boundaries are not restrictions, but freedoms. They are evidence of self-worth. We also talk about reclaiming your voice, subconscious healing, the role spirituality plays in recovery, and why survivors often struggle to believe they deserve peace, rest, or happiness after trauma. This episode is reflective, practical, spiritual, emotional, and incredibly human. Whether you are actively healing, supporting someone who is, or simply trying to better understand the long-term impact of trauma, I think this conversation is going to stay with you long after it ends. An important side note: if you're finding value in this show and these conversations, please consider leaving a 5-star rating on your podcast platform—it truly helps more people find these stories. You can also follow Sexual Assault Survivor Stories on Instagram and send me a note of support. I can't tell you how much your emails mean to me—they fuel my passion to keep this podcast going. And if you're a victim or survivor and you feel like you might be ready to share your story—whether for your own healing or to help someone else—reach out to me. We can start a conversation, with no pressure and no expectations. You can email me directly at dave@sasstories.com. Please include a phone number where I can reach you, because I genuinely prefer to talk with people who are considering guesting. Thank you to everyone who has already reached out—and please keep those emails coming. I truly look forward to hearing from you. Here are some critically important links that I hope you'll take the time to explore. Where a contribution is requested, please consider doing so. Thank you—for listening, for believing survivors, and for being part of this community. https://www.stillwholewellness.com/ https://www.projectcallisto.org/ https://documenttheabuse.org/ https://hassl.uk/ https://saprea.org/ https://whattheydontsay.com https://1in6.org/ https://time.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/repeat_rape.pdf?utm_source=chatgpt.com https://safeinharmsway.org https://startbybelieving.org https://evawintl.org/ As mentioned, and emphasized, it's time to Normalize the Conversation.™ And please remember to Start by Believing…because we all know someone whose life has been impacted by rape or sexual assault. (Check out https://evawintl.org/ & https://startbybelieving.org for more information on "Start By Believing"!)Thank you for tuning in. --Dave

  • May 12 · 59 min

    189. Tracy DeTomasi, Chris McGee & Derrick Hurley: Why Men Must Be Part of the Solution

    For this episode, I brought together three people who have become powerful voices in the fight against sexual violence: Tracy DeTomasi, CEO of Callisto, Chris McGee, and Derrick Hurley. What started for Chris and Derrick as deeply personal journeys after the sexual assaults of their daughters has evolved into full-scale advocacy work focused on changing laws, challenging rape culture, supporting survivors, and pushing men to stop standing on the sidelines. This conversation centers around the upcoming "Dudes and Dads" campaign with Callisto, an organization using encrypted technology to help survivors privately identify serial perpetrators and connect safely with other survivors. We talk openly about why so many survivors never report, why serial offending is far more common than most people realize, and why men need to stop viewing this issue as "someone else's problem." What stood out to me throughout this roundtable was the honesty. Nobody here pretends to have all the answers. We talk about mistakes, discomfort, fear, frustration, and the reality that advocacy work is exhausting. But we also talk about why staying silent is no longer acceptable. Men have to become part of the solution. Not performatively. Not occasionally. Consistently. This episode is ultimately about action. Whether that means supporting a survivor, challenging harmful attitudes, donating to organizations like Callisto, educating young men, or simply having conversations most people avoid, every one of us has a role to play. We normalize this conversation by actually having it. And we start by believing. An important side note: if you're finding value in this show and these conversations, please consider leaving a 5-star rating on your podcast platform—it truly helps more people find these stories. You can also follow Sexual Assault Survivor Stories on Instagram and send me a note of support. I can't tell you how much your emails mean to me—they fuel my passion to keep this podcast going. And if you're a victim or survivor and you feel like you might be ready to share your story—whether for your own healing or to help someone else—reach out to me. We can start a conversation, with no pressure and no expectations. You can email me directly at dave@sasstories.com. Please include a phone number where I can reach you, because I genuinely prefer to talk with people who are considering guesting. Thank you to everyone who has already reached out—and please keep those emails coming. I truly look forward to hearing from you. Here are some critically important links that I hope you'll take the time to explore. Where a contribution is requested, please consider doing so. Thank you—for listening, for believing survivors, and for being part of this community. https://www.projectcallisto.org/ https://documenttheabuse.org/ https://hassl.uk/ https://saprea.org/ https://whattheydontsay.com https://1in6.org/ https://time.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/repeat_rape.pdf?utm_source=chatgpt.com https://soulwisesolutions.com https://safeinharmsway.org https://startbybelieving.org https://evawintl.org/ As mentioned, and emphasized, it's time to Normalize the Conversation.™ And please remember to Start by Believing…because we all know someone whose life has been impacted by rape or sexual assault. (Check out https://evawintl.org/ & https://startbybelieving.org for more information on "Start By Believing"!) Thank you for tuning in. --Dave

  • May 5 · 1 hr 33 min

    188. Martha Gagnon: The Hidden Pattern Behind Coercion

    Martha Gagnon joins me for a deeply important and, at times, difficult conversation about coercion, control, and what she ultimately came to understand as rape within an intimate relationship. Her story doesn't follow the narrative many people expect—and that's exactly why it matters. In this survival story, Martha's relationship with this particular person began as what appeared to be healthy, emotionally aware, and enlightened. But it slowly shifted into a pattern of pressure, manipulation, and control that escalated over time. Martha walks us through how coercion operated in her relationship—how repeated pressure, emotional punishment, and the eventual inability to safely say no created a dynamic where compliance felt like the only option. She shares, in powerful detail, the moment that would later become central to her healing journey, and how confusion, self-blame, and manipulation kept her from recognizing the violation for what it was. As she began to process her experience, Martha encountered something many survivors face: the gap between lived experience and legal definition. Despite being believed, her case did not meet the legal standard for rape in her state. That realization became a turning point—not only in her personal healing, but in her advocacy. She has since founded Define Consent Iowa, working to push for a clear, comprehensive legal definition of consent that better reflects the realities survivors experience. This episode is not just about one story—it's about a broader misunderstanding that exists around coercion, consent, and trauma. Martha's voice brings clarity to something that is often minimized or dismissed, and her work is helping others recognize their own experiences, feel less alone, and begin to heal. An important side note: if you're finding value in this show and these conversations, please consider leaving a 5-star rating on your podcast platform—it truly helps more people find these stories. You can also follow Sexual Assault Survivor Stories on Instagram and send me a note of support. I can't tell you how much your emails mean to me—they fuel my passion to keep this podcast going. And if you're a victim or survivor and you feel like you might be ready to share your story—whether for your own healing or to help someone else—reach out to me. We can start a conversation, with no pressure and no expectations. You can email me directly at dave@sasstories.com. Please include a phone number where I can reach you, because I genuinely prefer to talk with people who are considering guesting. Thank you to everyone who has already reached out—and please keep those emails coming. I truly look forward to hearing from you. Here are some critically important links that I hope you'll take the time to explore. Where a contribution is requested, please consider doing so. Thank you—for listening, for believing survivors, and for being part of this community. linktr.ee/defineconsentiowa https://documenttheabuse.org/ https://hassl.uk/ https://saprea.org/ https://whattheydontsay.com https://1in6.org/ https://time.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/repeat_rape.pdf?utm_source=chatgpt.com https://soulwisesolutions.com https://safeinharmsway.org https://startbybelieving.org https://evawintl.org/ As mentioned, and emphasized, it's time to Normalize the Conversation.™ And please remember to Start by Believing…because we all know someone whose life has been impacted by rape or sexual assault. (Check out https://evawintl.org/ & https://startbybelieving.org for more information on "Start By Believing"!) Thank you for tuning in. --Dave

  • April 28 · 1 hr 8 min

    187. Sophie: "If I Said No Again…What Would Happen?"

    Sophie was 14 when she entered a relationship that, at first, felt familiar and exciting. Over time, that relationship shifted into something she couldn't fully understand in the moment. What began as connection turned into pressure, confusion, and a growing sense that she was responsible for someone else's emotions, safety, and survival. This episode traces how that shift happened. Not through a single moment, but through a pattern—pushing boundaries in public, introducing sexual expectations early, using guilt and fear, and layering in threats of self-harm. Sophie describes what it felt like to be 15 and trying to manage all of that at once, while still telling herself she was just trying to make things work. By the time the sexual assault occurred, she was already navigating a situation where saying no no longer felt like a real option. Years later, Sophie began to understand what she had lived through. Through therapy, reflection, and eventually reporting, she started putting language to experiences that once felt confusing and disconnected. Her story includes the reality of not being believed the way she should have been, and still choosing to speak. What she shares here is honest, grounded, and a reminder that understanding often comes long after the moment itself—and that doesn't make it any less real. An important side note: if you're finding value in this show and these conversations, please consider leaving a 5-star rating on your podcast platform—it truly helps more people find these stories. You can also follow Sexual Assault Survivor Stories on Instagram and send me a note of support. I can't tell you how much your emails mean to me—they fuel my passion to keep this podcast going. And if you're a victim or survivor and you feel like you might be ready to share your story—whether for your own healing or to help someone else—reach out to me. We can start a conversation, with no pressure and no expectations. You can email me directly at dave@sasstories.com. Please include a phone number where I can reach you, because I genuinely prefer to talk with people who are considering guesting. Thank you to everyone who has already reached out—and please keep those emails coming. I truly look forward to hearing from you. Here are some critically important links that I hope you'll take the time to explore. Where a contribution is requested, please consider doing so. Thank you—for listening, for believing survivors, and for being part of this community. https://havenspacecoaching.com/ https://documenttheabuse.org https://hassl.uk/ https://saprea.org/ https://whattheydontsay.com https://1in6.org/ https://time.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/repeat_rape.pdf?utm_source=chatgpt.com https://soulwisesolutions.com https://safeinharmsway.org https://startbybelieving.org https://evawintl.org/ As mentioned, and emphasized, it's time to Normalize the Conversation.™ And please remember to Start by Believing…because we all know someone whose life has been impacted by rape or sexual assault. (Check out https://evawintl.org/ & https://startbybelieving.org for more information on "Start By Believing"!) Thank you for tuning in. --Dave

  • April 21 · 1 hr 32 min

    186. Joseph Born: The Hidden Reality of Child-on-Child Harm

    Joseph Born grew up surrounded by the raw, untamed beauty of Alaska—a childhood filled with exploration, curiosity, and the kind of freedom that most people would associate with innocence. But beneath that backdrop was something far different. In this episode, Joseph shares the part of his story that rarely gets talked about with the clarity it deserves: child-on-child sexual abuse, and the lasting imprint it leaves long after childhood ends. What makes this conversation so important is not just what happened, but how it showed up—behavioral shifts, confusion, acting out—things that are often misunderstood, dismissed, or punished instead of recognized for what they are. We spend time unpacking what those early indicators can look like when a child doesn't have the language, the safety, or the understanding to say, "Something's wrong." Joseph walks through the weight of secrecy and shame that kept him silent, and how that silence shaped the way he saw himself and the world around him. This is one of those conversations that challenges the way adults think about behavior in children and forces a more honest look at what might be underneath the surface. It also brings attention to something that still doesn't get nearly enough discussion—how children can act out harm on other children, often without anyone recognizing the deeper context behind it. Joseph also takes us into his path forward. Therapy didn't erase what happened, but it gave him a way to understand it, to process it, and to begin to separate who he is from what he went through. We talk about what healing looks like in real life, and why awareness, education, and open conversations are critical if we're going to do better for the next generation. This episode isn't easy. But it's necessary. And if there's one thing to take from it, it's this: the conversations we avoid are often the ones that matter most. An important side note: if you're finding value in this show and these conversations, please consider leaving a 5-star rating on your podcast platform—it truly helps more people find these stories. You can also follow Sexual Assault Survivor Stories on Instagram and send me a note of support. I can't tell you how much your emails mean to me—they fuel my passion to keep this podcast going. And if you're a victim or survivor and you feel like you might be ready to share your story—whether for your own healing or to help someone else—reach out to me. We can start a conversation, with no pressure and no expectations. You can email me directly at dave@sasstories.com. Please include a phone number where I can reach you, because I genuinely prefer to talk with people who are considering guesting. Thank you to everyone who has already reached out—and please keep those emails coming. I truly look forward to hearing from you. Here are some critically important links that I hope you'll take the time to explore. Where a contribution is requested, please consider doing so. Thank you—for listening, for believing survivors, and for being part of this community. https://havenspacecoaching.com/ https://documenttheabuse.org https://hassl.uk/ https://saprea.org/ https://whattheydontsay.com https://1in6.org/ https://time.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/repeat_rape.pdf?utm_source=chatgpt.com https://soulwisesolutions.com https://safeinharmsway.org https://startbybelieving.org https://evawintl.org/ As mentioned, and emphasized, it's time to Normalize the Conversation.™ And please remember to Start by Believing…because we all know someone whose life has been impacted by rape or sexual assault. (Check out https://evawintl.org/ & https://startbybelieving.org for more information on "Start By Believing"!) Thank you for tuning in.--Dave

  • April 14 · 1 hr 7 min

    185. Sara Perry: This Changes How You Think About Healing

    This week's episode takes us into a part of the healing conversation that doesn't get talked about nearly enough. I sit down with Sara Perry, founder of Haven Space (https://havenspacecoaching.com/) in Houston, Texas, to explore what it means to approach trauma and intimacy through the body—not just the mind. Sara is a somatic sex educator and sexological bodyworker who works with individuals and couples to reconnect with themselves after experiences of disconnection, shame, or trauma. Her work blends coaching, somatic practices, and body awareness to help people understand how their nervous system responds to stress, touch, and intimacy. It's grounded in consent, safety, and the understanding that the body holds onto more than we often realize. The body keeps the score…remember? (Thanks, Bessel van der Kolk!) What stood out in this conversation is how much this aligns with what we already know about trauma. Survivors don't just carry memories—they carry physical responses, tension, and patterns that don't always make sense until you start looking at the body as part of the story. Sara breaks that down in a way that's accessible without oversimplifying it. This episode might stretch your perspective a bit, and that's okay. If nothing else, I hope it opens the door to thinking about healing in a broader way—and reminds you that there is more than one path forward. An important side note: if you're finding value in this show and these conversations, please consider leaving a 5-star rating on your podcast platform—it truly helps more people find these stories. You can also follow Sexual Assault Survivor Stories on Instagram and send me a note of support. I can't tell you how much your emails mean to me—they fuel my passion to keep this podcast going. And if you're a victim or survivor and you feel like you might be ready to share your story—whether for your own healing or to help someone else—reach out to me. We can start a conversation, with no pressure and no expectations. You can email me directly at dave@sasstories.com. Please include a phone number where I can reach you, because I genuinely prefer to talk with people who are considering guesting. Thank you to everyone who has already reached out—and please keep those emails coming. I truly look forward to hearing from you. Here are some critically important links that I hope you'll take the time to explore. Where a contribution is requested, please consider doing so. Thank you—for listening, for believing survivors, and for being part of this community. https://havenspacecoaching.com https://documenttheabuse.org https://hassl.uk/ https://saprea.org/ https://whattheydontsay.com https://1in6.org/ https://time.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/repeat_rape.pdf?utm_source=chatgpt.com https://soulwisesolutions.com https://safeinharmsway.org https://startbybelieving.org https://evawintl.org/ As mentioned, and emphasized, it's time to Normalize the Conversation.™ And please remember to Start by Believing…because we all know someone whose life has been impacted by rape or sexual assault. (Check out https://evawintl.org/ & https://startbybelieving.org for more information on "Start By Believing"!) Thank you for tuning in. --Dave

  • April 7 · 46 min

    184. Emily: I Was Living My Life Like Nothing Happened

    This week, Emily joins the show to share a story that has lived quietly beneath the surface while life continued to move forward around it. As a young woman navigating the early stages of adulthood, she opens up about what it means to carry the impact of sexual assault while still showing up in the world in ways that appear "normal" to everyone else. This conversation explores the contrast between outward life and internal reality—how someone can be building a future, maintaining relationships, and staying socially connected, all while holding onto something deeply unresolved. Emily speaks candidly about that disconnect, and the weight that comes with it over time. We also talk about delayed processing—something that so many survivors experience. The idea that trauma doesn't always fully surface right away, and that understanding what happened can take months… or years. Emily's story highlights how that realization unfolds, and what it feels like to begin putting language to something that once felt confusing or undefined. Emily's experience is a reminder that survivors don't fit into a single narrative. They are individuals moving through everyday life—often while carrying experiences that others may never see. Creating space for those stories to be told is how we begin to better understand the full picture of trauma and healing. An important side note: if you're finding value in this show and these conversations, please consider leaving a 5-star rating on your podcast platform—it truly helps more people find these stories. You can also follow Sexual Assault Survivor Stories on Instagram and send me a note of support. I can't tell you how much your emails mean to me—they fuel my passion to keep this podcast going. And if you're a victim or survivor and you feel like you might be ready to share your story—whether for your own healing or to help someone else—reach out to me. We can start a conversation, with no pressure and no expectations. You can email me directly at dave@sasstories.com. Please include a phone number where I can reach you, because I genuinely prefer to talk with people who are considering guesting. Thank you to everyone who has already reached out—and please keep those emails coming. I truly look forward to hearing from you. Here are some critically important links that I hope you'll take the time to explore. Where a contribution is requested, please consider doing so. Thank you—for listening, for believing survivors, and for being part of this community. https://documenttheabuse.org https://hassl.uk/ https://saprea.org/ https://whattheydontsay.com https://1in6.org/ https://time.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/repeat_rape.pdf?utm_source=chatgpt.com https://soulwisesolutions.com https://safeinharmsway.org https://startbybelieving.org https://evawintl.org/ As mentioned, and emphasized, it's time to Normalize the Conversation.™ And please remember to Start by Believing…because we all know someone whose life has been impacted by rape or sexual assault. (Check out https://evawintl.org/ & https://startbybelieving.org for more information on "Start By Believing"!) Thank you for tuning in. --Dave

  • March 31 · 1 hr 4 min

    183. Darlene Lekowski: She Buried the Truth as a Child…What Happened When It Resurfaced?

    Before I get into these notes, I want to pass along this from this week's guest, Darlene Lekowski. She mentioned during our conversation that her audiobook, Shattering Silence, is dropping to just ninety-nine cents this coming Thursday, April 2nd, as her release-day promo. Go to amazon.com and look-up her book title, again—shattering silence, and you'll find the promotional deal. This is a limited-time opportunity, so if you're hearing this on or before april 2nd, 2026, go take a look—you won't want to miss this audiobook in Darlene's own voice! ****************************************************************************** This week I sat down with Darlene Lekowski, a survivor of sibling sexual trauma and abuse, who carried a secret for more than fifty years before finding her voice. What unfolds in this conversation is not just a story of what happened to her as a child, but what it means to live an entire life shaped by silence… and what it takes to finally break it. Darlene shares how growing up in a family where appearances mattered forced her into a reality where speaking out didn't feel like an option. Instead, she learned to survive by staying quiet, staying in control, and protecting everything around her—even at the expense of herself. And as she explains, that kind of survival doesn't just stay in childhood… it follows you into adulthood, into relationships, into every corner of your life. But this conversation isn't just about what was taken from her. It's about what she chose to take back. When the truth she had buried for decades came to the surface, Darlene was faced with a decision that so many survivors wrestle with—stay silent or finally stand in it. What she did next changed everything, not just for her, but for the people who will hear her story and recognize themselves in it. There's a depth to this conversation that's hard to put into words. It's about courage, yes… but it's also about release. About what happens when you stop trying to hold it all together and start allowing yourself to move forward in a different way. Darlene is now using her voice to reach others who are still carrying their own silence, and her story is one that will stay with you long after this episode ends. An important side note: if you're finding value in this show and these conversations, please consider leaving a 5-star rating on your podcast platform—it truly helps more people find these stories. You can also follow Sexual Assault Survivor Stories on Instagram and send me a note of support. I can't tell you how much your emails mean to me—they fuel my passion to keep this podcast going. And if you're a victim or survivor and you feel like you might be ready to share your story—whether for your own healing or to help someone else—reach out to me. We can start a conversation, with no pressure and no expectations. You can email me directly at dave@sasstories.com. Please include a phone number where I can reach you, because I genuinely prefer to talk with people who are considering guesting. Thank you to everyone who has already reached out—and please keep those emails coming. I truly look forward to hearing from you. Here are some critically important links that I hope you'll take the time to explore. Where a contribution is requested, please consider doing so. Thank you—for listening, for believing survivors, and for being part of this community. Facebook: Darlene Lekowshi Instagram: @darlenelekowski darlene-lekowski.com https://documenttheabuse.org https://hassl.uk/ https://saprea.org/ https://whattheydontsay.com https://1in6.org/ https://time.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/repeat_rape.pdf?utm_source=chatgpt.com https://soulwisesolutions.com https://safeinharmsway.org https://startbybelieving.org https://evawintl.org/ As mentioned, and emphasized, it's time to Normalize the Conversation.™ And please remember to Start by Believing…because we all know someone whose life has been impacted by rape or sexual assault. (Check out https://evawintl.org/ & https://startbybelieving.org for more information on "Start By Believing"!) Thank you for tuning in. --Dave

  • March 24 · 45 min

    182. Cassie Nicholas: When Help Was a Setup

    Cassie Nicholas returns to the podcast with a story that is as urgent as it is revealing. After everything she has already survived, Cassie found herself in a situation that looked—on the surface—like support and stability. People she trusted offered help, a way to get back on her feet, a path forward. But what she began to recognize, piece by piece, was something far more dangerous: those same individuals were attempting to traffic her. In this episode, I sit down with Cassie as she walks through that realization—how subtle the warning signs can be, how manipulation can be disguised as care, and how quickly vulnerability can be exploited. Her story is a stark reminder that trafficking doesn't always come in obvious forms. It often hides behind trust, relationships, and promises that feel safe…until they aren't. What makes this conversation so powerful isn't just what Cassie escaped—it's how she continues to move forward. She shares how she recognized what was happening, how she got out, and what it took to protect herself in a moment where everything could have gone very differently. There's a clarity in her insight that comes from lived experience, and it offers something critical for listeners: awareness. But beyond the danger and the escape, Cassie brings something else to this conversation—perspective. She talks about healing in a way that doesn't ignore the weight of trauma, but also doesn't allow it to define her future. Her ability to maintain a positive outlook isn't about denial; it's about choice. It's about deciding, day by day, how she's going to carry what's happened to her without letting it take everything from her. Cassie's voice is one that stays with you. Not just because of what she's been through, but because of how she chooses to live now. This episode is about survival. It's about awareness. And it's about what it really means to keep going. An important side note: if you're finding value in this show and these conversations, please consider leaving a 5-star rating on your podcast platform—it truly helps more people find these stories. You can also follow Sexual Assault Survivor Stories on Instagram and send me a note of support. I can't tell you how much your emails mean to me—they fuel my passion to keep this podcast going. And if you're a victim or survivor and you feel like you might be ready to share your story—whether for your own healing or to help someone else—reach out to me. We can start a conversation, with no pressure and no expectations. You can email me directly at dave@sasstories.com. Please include a phone number where I can reach you, because I genuinely prefer to talk with people who are considering guesting. Thank you to everyone who has already reached out—and please keep those emails coming. I truly look forward to hearing from you. Here are some critically important links that I hope you'll take the time to explore. Where a contribution is requested, please consider doing so. Thank you—for listening, for believing survivors, and for being part of this community. And if you'd like to donate some sustenance to Cassie, let me know; I'll fill you in on how you can get her some much needed monetary support!! By the way, Mountain to Mountain: The Ranch, by Cassie, is a must read!! https://linktr.ee/The_Cassandra_Voice https://open.substack.com/pub/cassandranicholas/p/the-ranch?r=6qlbq4&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web https://www.instagram.com/the_cassandra_voice/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/cassandra-nicholas-2a19863b1/ https://documenttheabuse.org https://hassl.uk/ https://saprea.org/ https://whattheydontsay.com https://1in6.org/ https://time.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/repeat_rape.pdf?utm_source=chatgpt.com https://soulwisesolutions.com https://safeinharmsway.org https://startbybelieving.org https://evawintl.org/ As mentioned, and emphasized, it's time to Normalize the Conversation.™ And please remember to Start by Believing…because we all know someone whose life has been impacted by rape or sexual assault. (Check out https://evawintl.org/ & https://startbybelieving.org for more information on "Start By Believing"!) Thank you for tuning in. --Dave