49: How to Help Your Athlete Bounce Back From a Bad Day

What's the first thing you should say when your daughter comes home from a camp, tryout, or tournament totally deflated? In this episode, Susan shares a simple but powerful tool she learned in her life coaching certification called the Ratings Game. It's a set of scaled questions parents and coaches can use to help an athlete process a tough day without spiraling into "I'm not good enough" thinking. Susan walks through exactly how the tool works, from asking your daughter to rate her performance from 1 to 10, to the crucial follow-up question of "Why isn't it a 1?" that gently gets her focused on what she actually did well. She also shares how to handle the "I don't know" answer, how to reflect her thinking back to her, and a reframe on motivation she calls "gas car vs. electric car," why celebration motivation is faster and more sustainable than being hard on yourself. If you're holding space for an athlete chasing a big goal, this episode gives you a script you can use the very next time she comes to you upset. Chapters 00:00 – Behind the scenes at Girls Junior Nationals 02:00 – Advisor vs. recruiter (and what parents often misunderstand) 05:00 – Why college coach interviews matter 07:30 – Doing scary things and building the podcast 11:00 – Where this episode's tool comes from 13:00 – Susan's life coaching certification story 19:00 – Introducing the Ratings Game 20:00 – How to ask the 1-to-10 question 22:00 – The "Why isn't it a 1?" follow-up 23:00 – What to do when she says "I don't know" 25:00 – Celebration motivation vs. lack motivation 28:00 – What would have made it a 10? 29:30 – Reflecting her thinking back to her 31:00 – Focusing on what she can control Follow Coach Desi on Instagram: @thisiscoachdesi Connect with Susan: Check out the website: www.nxtvb.com Follow on Instagram + TikTok: @hey.susank www.rallysend.com Looking for a better way to stay organized and manage your recruiting? Check out www.rallysend.com—our go-to recruiting software for athletes, families, and clubs. It streamlines communication with college coaches, saves hours on recruiting outreach, and helps you stay ahead of the biggest challenge in the recruiting process: time. Use code HEYSUSAN to save $5/month on a monthly subscription or $50 off an annual plan.