Artwork for Leadership Chemistry

Leadership Chemistry

Danny Coleman

This show is for managers and coaches to learn how leadership actually works — how people interact, influence, and transform. Learn to sharpen your communication, enhance your influence, and develop others. We make psychology practical, provide you tools you can use right away, and become someone worth following.

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14 episodes
Updated Friday

Episodes14

Friday · 58 min
16. The PTO Problem: Why Don't People Take It
Why do so many leaders refuse to take PTO? What are the emotional and cultural barriers that keep managers chained to their inboxes even on vacation? Today, Head Coach Kaycee and I break down the PTO problem. According to Sabine Sonnentag and Charlotte Fritz's "stressor detachment model," there are four pillars of real recovery—psychological detachment, relaxation, mastery, and control. While we may have different ideas on how to get to that recovery, what we can agree on is this: hoarding PTO isn't a flex, and being "irreplaceable" often just means you've built a ceiling over your own career. Ask yourself whether your team could function without you for two weeks—and if the honest answer is no, then there's real work to start doing. Get Weekly Insights on Leadership: Sign up for weekly tools to communicate and behave in ways that actually change other's behavior Sign up free here: https://www.dannycoleman.co Connect with Danny: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itsdannycoleman/ Substack: https://substack.com/@dannycoleman LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/djcoley/
July 24 · 57 min
15. The Human Side of Leadership with Meleah Rose
The work of knowing yourself as a leader never really finishes, and that's actually the fun part. This week, I'm chatting with Meleah Rose—a somatic practitioner and leadership coach who works with high performers, executives, and founders. We talked about her path from training as a marriage and family therapist toward somatic leadership coaching, sparked by an illness that forced her to slow down mid-master's-degree and eventually walk away from licensure entirely. From there we got into what "performative leadership" actually means, and why showing up as a polished, always-composed leader tends to erode trust rather than build it. We also got into people-pleasing, a pattern she said she's known intimately since childhood, and how she learned to filter her writing and decisions through one question: is this my truth, and can I stand on it? It's a conversation about vulnerability, nervous-system awareness, and what it really takes to lead without losing yourself in the process. Connect with Meleah on Substack: https://meleahrose1.substack.com/ Get Weekly Insights on Leadership: Sign up for weekly tools to communicate and behave in ways that actually change other's behavior Sign up free here: https://www.dannycoleman.co Connect with Danny: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itsdannycoleman/ Substack: https://substack.com/@dannycoleman LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/djcoley/
July 17 · 1 hr 5 min
14. Frameworks to Be a Better Leader with Jill Coleman
This week, I brought on my sister, Jill (who you may know as JillFit) for a wide-ranging, off-the-cuff conversation about what it actually takes to lead yourself and others. We dig into self-leadership and how "public declaration" is Jill's secret weapon for following through as a solopreneur, then moved into how she learned to let go of perfectionism and trust her team enough to let them figure things out rather than hovering over every decision. We got into self-awareness too, and why admitting mistakes as a leader builds trust instead of eroding it. From there we talked productivity, and how her real edge isn't doing more, it's doing less: taking real downtime, outsourcing anything that doesn't matter, and working in focused, high-energy blocks instead of staying half-on all day. We closed things out with some bigger-picture life lessons—mainly that you can't make everything important, so you might as well get intentional about the handful of things that are. Get Weekly Insights on Leadership: Sign up for weekly tools to communicate and behave in ways that actually change other's behavior Sign up free here: https://www.dannycoleman.co Connect with Danny: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itsdannycoleman/ Substack: https://substack.com/@dannycoleman LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/djcoley/
July 10 · 30 min
13. How to Master Your Emotions
Emotions aren't the enemy of a good life—they're the path to one. The philosophers of yore argued that logic should rule over feeling, but why can't we have both? Losing access to our emotions doesn't increase cognitive function. In fact, we know what a life without emotions looks like, and it ain't good. (Ted Bundy, anyone?) Emotions drive our decision-making, self-control, service to others, and the pursuit of goals, so we have to be able to name and sit with our emotions, instead of trying to outrun them. So if the goal isn't to eliminate emotion, instead let it be to understand our feelings well enough to let them move you toward the life you actually want. Get Weekly Insights on Leadership: Sign up for weekly tools to communicate and behave in ways that actually change other's behavior Sign up free here: https://www.dannycoleman.co Connect with Danny: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itsdannycoleman/ Substack: https://substack.com/@dannycoleman LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/djcoley/
July 3 · 25 min
12. The Trust Recession: The Voices We Listen to in Times of Uncertainty
We're living through what researchers call a "trust recession"—a collective decline in confidence in businesses, institutions, media, and each other. Today, I dig into why that's happening and what it costs us economically, professionally, and personally. When uncertainty creeps in, our brains crave certainty so badly that we start trusting the loudest, most confident voice in the room, even though research shows those quick, confident answers are wrong more often than not. Meanwhile, low-trust environments make everything slower, costlier, and more exhausting. To get the opposite of that, we need to start building real trust, through integrity over time. Get Weekly Insights on Leadership: Sign up for weekly tools to communicate and behave in ways that actually change other's behavior Sign up free here: https://www.dannycoleman.co Connect with Danny: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itsdannycoleman/ Substack: https://substack.com/@dannycoleman LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/djcoley/
June 26 · 58 min
11. Leadership Language: What to Say (and Not) to Move Others w/Kaycee Coleman
The one and only Kaycee Coleman—head coach at the Leadership Collective, trained social worker, therapist, and, yes, lead singer of KC and the Moonshine Band—is back this week to help me dig into something we both geek out over: leadership language. We kicked things off talking about how the everyday words leaders use aren't just filler, but are actually doing two jobs at once. They reveal mindset, and they program it. Researcher James Pennebaker at UT Austin even built a computer program to prove it, finding that word choices predict everything from personality traits to shifts in mental and physical health. Kaycee and I then got into some of the specific phrases that make our skin crawl. Things like calling your team "entitled," saying "that won't work," or the classic "I'm a nice person!" We break down what those phrases actually signal about a leader's beliefs and how they quietly poison team culture. We also got into the fun stuff: the language shifts that actually move the needle, like swapping "I can't" for "I don't," "I should" for "I could," and "I'm nervous" for "I'm excited," plus some wild research on how just adding the word because to a request can boost compliance by 50%, and how asking someone if they're "a voter" rather than if they're "voting" increased turnout by 15%. The bottom line we kept coming back to is simple: your words are building something, whether you're paying attention to them or not, so you might as well be intentional about what you're constructing. Get Weekly Insights on Leadership: Sign up for weekly tools to communicate and behave in ways that actually change other's behavior Sign up free here: https://www.dannycoleman.co Connect with Danny: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itsdannycoleman/ Substack: https://substack.com/@dannycoleman LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/djcoley/
June 19 · 29 min
10. Leading Under Stress: Be the Adult in the Room
It's been a big few weeks—Kels and I just bought our first house, baby is six weeks out, and I finally have my own Costco membership, so I'm basically a full adult now. But hitting some of these milestones got me thinking, because society's checklist for adulthood misses the most important part: emotional maturity. Maturity can be seen in three stages—the child who operates purely on pleasure and pain, the adolescent who becomes transactional and people-pleasing, and the adult who does the right thing simply because it's right, not to get something in return. That third stage is where real self-worth lives, and it's where leaders need to operate. The problem is that under stress, we regress. Our insecurities surface, our self-control slips, and we start justifying bad behavior. So the framework I want to leave you with is playing above or below the line: above the line is integrity, ownership, empathy, and curiosity; below the line is complaining, victimhood, defensiveness, and fear. You're going to slip below it at some point, but the goal is to build enough self-awareness to catch yourself and get back above the line faster. Get Weekly Insights on Leadership: Sign up for weekly tools to communicate and behave in ways that actually change other's behavior Sign up free here: https://www.dannycoleman.co Connect with Danny: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itsdannycoleman/ Substack: https://substack.com/@dannycoleman LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/djcoley/
June 5 · 32 min
9. Leadership Series: The 6 Rules of Leadership
Let's all give a warm welcome to my sister-in-law Kaycee Coleman—licensed clinical social worker and brand new head coach at the Coleman Leadership Collective. This week we're kicking off the first installment of a brand new monthly leadership series. Since "leadership" is such a nebulous term and no one can seem to agree on what it actually entails, Kaycee and I wanted to unpack our personal rules of great leadership. We get into why the most powerful leadership moments often have nothing to do with strategy or metrics, what it really means to lead yourself before you can lead anyone else, and why the small things you think nobody notices are actually the things people remember most. If you've ever wondered what separates a run-of-the-mill manager from a leader people actually want to follow, you'll want to tune in. Get Weekly Insights on Leadership: Sign up for weekly tools to communicate and behave in ways that actually change other's behavior Sign up free here: https://www.dannycoleman.co Connect with Danny: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itsdannycoleman/ Substack: https://substack.com/@dannycoleman LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/djcoley/
May 29 · 30 min
8. "It Starts at the Top" is a Lie
Every time I speak at organizations, I watch the same thing happen: people nod along enthusiastically until someone says, "That's great, but it won't work here," and suddenly the room fills with a kind of collective helplessness. But that mindset has a name: an external locus of control, and research shows it's linked to higher stress, worse job performance, even a 50% greater risk of coronary heart disease. You already know we're gonna flip that script. First, stop arguing for your limitations—there's a critical difference between fault, which lives in the past, and responsibility, which is about what you can do right now. Second, shift your focus from your circle of concern to your circle of influence, because the more energy you pour into what you can actually control, the bigger that circle grows. Third, start small and start now, because lasting change doesn't come from overhauling everything at once, it comes from doing one small thing well. We all have the power to lead from wherever we sit. Get Weekly Insights on Leadership: Sign up for weekly tools to communicate and behave in ways that actually change other's behavior Sign up free here: https://www.dannycoleman.co Connect with Danny: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itsdannycoleman/ Substack: https://substack.com/@dannycoleman LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/djcoley/
May 22 · 17 min
7. The Best Success Advice I've Ever Gotten
Three years ago, I made a decision that changed everything—not a dramatic, lightning-bolt moment, but a quiet, deliberate shift in how I showed up. I'd spent years getting excited about ideas, telling people about them, and then... not doing them. Author Steven Pressfield calls that pattern living like an amateur. Amateurs wait until they feel ready, until inspiration strikes, until life slows down enough to make it convenient. Pros don't wait. They show up on Tuesday when they're tired, on the road with a full plate, when nobody's watching and nobody would even notice if they didn't. Two years ago, I committed to putting out a podcast episode every single Friday. A year ago, I made my "weekly" newsletter actually weekly. I just decided to be a pro. And what surprised me beyond the tangible results was that something shifted internally. I started to respect myself in a way I hadn't before. And it makes complete sense, because self-respect is built the same way any trust is built, by watching someone keep their promises over and over again. So the question isn't whether you have what it takes. The question is whether you're willing to treat your own commitments like they matter. Because pros do. Get Weekly Insights on Leadership: Sign up for weekly tools to communicate and behave in ways that actually change other's behavior Sign up free here: https://www.dannycoleman.co Connect with Danny: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itsdannycoleman/ Substack: https://substack.com/@dannycoleman LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/djcoley/
May 15 · 34 min
6. 5 Levels of Leadership
I used to think leadership was just about having a fancy title and telling people what to do. Turns out I was dead wrong, and my whole journey from a cocky 27-year-old director fumbling through high turnover to actually understanding what real leadership looks like was nothing short of humbling. The way I see it, there are five levels to leadership: you start with a Position, where your title is the only thing keeping people in line; you grind your way to Production, where your competence starts doing the talking; then you hit Personality, where genuine connection with people gives you real influence; Level 4 is where it gets serious—you're not just leading people, you're building other leaders and driving a culture of growth; and Level 5, the rarified air most of us never even sniff, is Legacy, where your impact outlives your presence. The whole point isn't to judge where you are but to understand that leadership isn't a destination, it's a daily practice, and if you can leave things even a little better than you found them, you're already on your way to building that legacy. Get Weekly Insights on Leadership: Sign up for weekly tools to communicate and behave in ways that actually change other's behavior Sign up free here: https://www.dannycoleman.co Connect with Danny: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itsdannycoleman/ Substack: https://substack.com/@dannycoleman LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/djcoley/
May 8 · 37 min
5. The 3C's of Influence
In this episode, I dig into something I call the Compliance Triangle. One of the biggest frustrations I hear from coaches and managers alike is, "How do I get people to actually follow through?" And the honest answer starts with a reminder: human beings are not algorithms. Change is slow, hard, and complex, and the best thing we can do as leaders is extend compassion to ourselves and our people before anything else. That said, there are three skills that meaningfully increase follow-through when practiced well. Together, these three elements form the foundation of influence-based leadership—the kind that actually works. Get Weekly Insights on Leadership: Sign up for weekly tools to communicate and behave in ways that actually change other's behavior Sign up free here: https://www.dannycoleman.co Connect with Danny: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itsdannycoleman/ Substack: https://substack.com/@dannycoleman LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/djcoley/
May 1 · 39 min
4. The Four Motivational Dials
In my work, I use a framework for motivating others, which I call the Four Dials. When most people talk motivation, they typically think of the Light Switch Model—the common belief that leaders can flip a switch and turn on someone's motivation—but that approach tends to breed frustration, burnout, and stalled progress. Instead, let me offer up the Michelangelo Model: the idea that motivation already exists within people, and our job as leaders is simply to chisel away what's blocking it. Drawing on Self-Determination Theory, I'll walk through each of the four psychological dials we can tune up or down to create an environment where motivation thrives naturally—the Information Dial (giving people what they need to succeed, without overwhelming them), the Safety Dial (helping people feel free from judgment and connected to the shared human experience), the Autonomy Dial (ensuring people feel like the authors of their own story, with meaningful agency inside a structure), and the Connection Dial (the foundation of everything, because when people truly feel known and cared for, they'll run through a wall for you and for themselves). Get Weekly Insights on Leadership: Sign up for weekly tools to communicate and behave in ways that actually change other's behavior Sign up free here: https://www.dannycoleman.co Connect with Danny: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itsdannycoleman/ Substack: https://substack.com/@dannycoleman LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/djcoley/
April 24 · 36 min
3. The Key Habit of High Performance
In my opinion, the single most important habit of high performance is creating rituals. Through my own oddly specific rituals, I've learned something that elite athletes and other high performers have long understood: our energy operates in natural cycles of stress and recovery, and rituals are the structures that allow us to tap into that rhythm. Rituals conserve willpower, calm your physiology, and create boundaries in a world that never stops demanding your attention. Your rituals should be personal and enjoyable (no cold plunges required!), they should be specific and anchored to a time and place, and they should have a consistent cadence, whether that's daily, weekly, monthly, or annual. Your homework this week is to build your own, and send them to me on Instagram at @itsdannycoleman. Get Weekly Insights on Leadership: Sign up for weekly tools to communicate and behave in ways that actually change other's behavior Sign up free here: https://www.dannycoleman.co Connect with Danny: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itsdannycoleman/ Substack: https://substack.com/@dannycoleman LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/djcoley/