Java with Juli - Making Sense of God and Sex

Dr. Juli Slattery and Authentic Intimacy®

Dr. Juli Slattery sits down with guests over coffee and you get to join them. We have honest conversations about sex, marriage, intimacy, singleness, and God's design for sexuality.

Java with Juli is an outreach of Authentic Intimacy.

Subscribe Listen in podnod RSS feed Show website

20 episodes
Updated Monday

Episodes20

Newest first

Monday · 46 min
How to Make Better Decisions As a Couple, #616
This week, Juli and her husband, Mike, share lessons they've learned about navigating disagreements, understanding each other's perspectives, avoiding manipulation, and seeking God's wisdom together. Whether you're newly married or decades into your relationship, this conversation will encourage you to build healthier patterns for making decisions as a team. Follow-up Resources: Java #603 5 Ways to Navigate Differences & Build a Stronger Marrige with Juli & Mike Slattery Cruise with Juli on the Love Like You Mean It Cruise! Save $600 per couple on regular cabins or $400 per couple on suites with code JAVAWITHJULI27. The Very Important Difference Between Conflict & Fighting by Dr. Juli Slattery (blog) Finding the Hero in Your Husband by Dr. Juli Slattery Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy
July 27 · 26 min
How Separation Can Strengthen Your Marriage, #121
When you're on the brink of divorce, could separation save your marriage? This week, Juli sits down with Dr. Gary Chapman to hear how intentional separation can be an act of love rather than a sign of giving up. You'll learn when separation may be appropriate, why outside counsel matters, and how hope can be rekindled (even in relationships that seem beyond repair). Whether you're personally facing a difficult marriage or walking alongside someone who is, this conversation offers wisdom, practical guidance, and a reminder that God is always in the business of redemption. Guest: Dr. Gary Chapman Become a monthly donor to Authentic Intimacy and get a FREE copy of the new 25 Questions You're Afraid to Ask About Love, Sex, and Intimacy. Follow-up Resources: Hot Topic Kit: Healing After an Affair One More Try by Dr. Gary Chapman Learn more about a marriage Intensive with Hope Restored Video Q&A: How do I know if my spouse is repentant after a betrayal? Video Q&A: How do I know if I'm in an emotionally abusive relationship or marriage?
July 20 · 37 min
4 Keys to Great Sex in Every Season, #615
Great sex doesn't happen by accident. It takes intentionality. This week, Juli shares four habits of couples who pursue sexual intimacy over a lifetime. From the busy years of raising children to the mundane of everyday life, navigating aging and redefining intimacy over time, they explore how you can pursue deeper connection through every stage of marriage. Co-host: Hannah Nitz We'd love to hear your thoughts about this conversation. Leave us a rating and review. Become a monthly donor to Authentic Intimacy and get a FREE copy of the new 25 Questions You're Afraid to Ask About Love, Sex, and Intimacy. Follow-up Resources: Cruise with Juli on the Love Like You Mean It Cruise! Save $600 per couple on regular cabins or $400 per couple on suites with code JAVAWITHJULI27. Want to dig deeper? Check out our Hot Topic Kit: Building a Great Sex Life, or pick up a copy of God, Sex, and Your Marriage by Dr. Juli Slattery. Video Q&A: We Have Sex Regularly, but My Husband Never Seems Satisfied. What Do I Do? Video Q&A: Sex Has Never Been Pleasurable in Our Marriage. Should I Just Fake It? Video Q&A: My spouse never wants to have sex. What do I do? Follow Hannah Nitz @hannahnitz Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy
July 13 · 54 min
Why Finding Love Feels Harder Than Ever, #614
Why does dating feel so much harder than it used to? Is marriage even still worth it? This week, Juli and Dr. Brad Wilcox dive into the realities of modern dating, offering practical advice for navigating relationships with wisdom and confidence. They discuss everything from fear of commitment and unrealistic expectations to the importance of community, character, and shared faith. If you've ever wondered how to navigate today's dating culture, this conversation is for you. Guest: Dr. Brad Wilcox Become a monthly donor to Authentic Intimacy and get a FREE copy of the new 25 Questions You're Afraid to Ask About Love, Sex, and Intimacy. Follow-up Resources: Hot Topic Kit: Healthy Dating & Boundaries The National Marriage Project Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy
July 6 · 41 min
Why So Many Young People Feel Confused About Sexuality, #613
The language of sexuality is changing rapidly, and many parents, pastors, and mentors feel overwhelmed trying to keep up. This week, Juli talks with Dr. Julia Sadusky about what's driving these changes, why so many young people are exploring new identity labels, and why you don't have to toss your convictions out the window in order to stay connected to your kids. Guest: Dr. Julia Sadusky Become a monthly donor to Authentic Intimacy and get a FREE copy of the new 25 Questions You're Afraid to Ask About Love, Sex, and Intimacy. Follow-Up Resources: Emerging Sexual Identities: Navigating the Landscape of Today's Youth by Dr. Mark Yarhouse and Dr. Julia Sadusky When Your Adult Child Makes Sexual Choices You Don't Agree With by Juli Slattery (blog) Help! I Know I Need to Talk to My Teenager About Sex, But How Do I Do It? by Juli Slattery (blog) Follow Dr. Julia Sadusky at @drsadusky Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy
June 29 · 49 min
"Show It Off" or "Cover It Up": Messages That Shape Our Body Image, #381
What messages have you been told about your body and your sexuality? This week, Juli sits down with her friends Dawn Jones and Danisa Suarez for a candid conversation about the unique experiences of Black, Latino, and White women when it comes to the messages they received about their sexuality. They touch on topics like body image, beauty standards, shame, and the pressure women feel to either hide or flaunt their sexuality. Guests: Dawn Jones, LPC-S & Danisa Suarez, LPC, CST Become a monthly donor to Authentic Intimacy and get a FREE copy of the new 25 Questions You're Afraid to Ask About Love, Sex, and Intimacy. We'd love to hear your thoughts about this conversation. Leave us a rating and review. Dawn Jones' Practice: Legacy Counseling & Consulting Jorge & Danisa Suarez's Practice: CCI Counseling Follow Danisa at @danisasuarezoficial Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy
June 22 · 45 min
How Your Story Shapes the Way You Approach Sex & Intimacy, #612
What if the challenges in your sex life have less to do with sex and more to do with your story? This week, Juli talks with attachment expert Marc Cameron about how our earliest relationships shape the way we approach dating, marriage, and sexual intimacy. Whether you're struggling with emotional distance, differences in desire, recurring conflict, or simply want a deeper understanding of yourself and your spouse, this conversation is for you. Guest: Marc Cameron, MA, LMFT Become a monthly donor to Authentic Intimacy and get a FREE copy of the new 25 Questions You're Afraid to Ask About Love, Sex, and Intimacy. Follow-up Resources: Understanding Your Attachment Style by Marc Cameron Episode #523 How Past Family Patterns Impact the Way You Love Today with Milan & Kay Yerkovich Follow Marc at @marc.cameron.mft Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy
June 15 · 49 min
Dismantling 3 Lies That Rob Our Intimacy With God, #611
Juli sits down with bestselling author Gary Thomas for a conversation about some of the subtle lies Christians often believe without even realizing it. They're tackling tough questions , like: Can family become an idol? Why do we still struggle with sin after coming to Christ? And what happens when loneliness and isolation become our normal? While this conversation isn't specifically about sexuality, how we answer these questions shapes the way we approach our relationships. Join us to explore how God's truth can lead us into greater freedom, stronger relationships, and deeper intimacy with him. Guest: Gary Thomas Become a monthly donor to Authentic Intimacy and get a FREE copy of the new 25 Questions You're Afraid to Ask About Love, Sex, and Intimacy. Follow Up Resources: The Life You Were Reborn to Live: Dismantling 12 Lies That Rob Your Intimacy with God by Gary Thomas Ep. #589 Feeling Distant? How to Build Emotional Intimacy in Your Marriage with Gary Thomas When Your Adult Child Makes Sexual Choices You Disagree With by Juli Slattery (blog) Follow Gary at @garythomasbooks Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy
June 8 · 37 min
How Purity Culture Messed With Our Sexual Desire, #610
If you grew up in church in the 90s or early 2000s, you probably received some confusing messages about sex and desire. This week, Juli and Hannah unpack how those messages shaped our understanding of sexuality and purity—and why so many Christians still struggle to say "yes, yes, yes" after years of "no, no, no." This conversation will remind you that God is not ashamed of your sexuality and invite you into healing, wholeness, and the truth about your sexuality. Co-host: Hannah Nitz Become a monthly donor to Authentic Intimacy and get a FREE copy of the new 25 Questions You're Afraid to Ask About Love, Sex, and Intimacy. We'd love to hear your thoughts about this conversation. Leave us a rating and review. Follow-up Resources: 25 Questions You're Afraid to Ask about Love, Sex, and Intimacy by Dr. Juli Slattery Passion Pursuit: What Kind of Love Are You Making? (A 10-Week Study Through the Song of Solomon) Hot Topic Kit: Building a Great Sex Life Java #608 Purity Culture, Shame & the Grace of God with Dannah Gresh What Do I Do With My Sexual Desires? (blog) Video Q&A: What's the difference between sexual purity and sexual integrity? Video Q&A: What's the purpose of my sexuality as a single? Follow Hannah Nitz @hannahnitz Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy
June 1 · 46 min
What If My Spouse Is Looking at Porn?, #609
This week, Juli, Hannah, and Joe answer one of the hardest questions many of us face: What do I do if my spouse is looking at porn? This conversation is honest, compassionate, and full of hope. We talk through the pain, shame, confusion, and secrecy that pornography often brings into a marriage—and why healing is still possible for both the person struggling and the spouse who feels hurt and betrayed. You'll hear practical wisdom on how to find the support you need, why you can't be your spouse's accountability partner, and how true intimacy is about so much more than just changing a behavior. Whether this struggle has touched your marriage personally or that of someone you love, it's one you'll definitely want to share. Co-hosts: Hannah Nitz & Joe Caruso It's book launch week! 🎉🎉 Order your copy of the new 25 Questions You're Afraid to Ask about Love, Sex, and Intimacy. Or, become a monthly donor to Authentic Intimacy and get it for FREE! Follow-up Resources 25 Questions You're Afraid to Ask about Love, Sex, and Intimacy by Dr. Juli Slattery Hot Topic Kit: Pornography In Marriage 5 Healthy Ways to Respond to Your Husband's Porn Problem (blog) 3 Things Women Want You to Know About Their Addiction to Pornography (blog) Video Q&A: Is porn sinful? Video Q&A: Does my spouse watch porn because of me? Find help and community with any of these trusted ministries: Be Broken Ministries Fight for Love Ministries Hopequest Pure Desire Follow Hannah Nitz @hannahnitz Follow Joe Caruso at @joecaruso06 Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy
May 25 · 45 min
Purity Culture, Shame, & the Grace of God, #608
This week, Dannah Gresh shares the personal story behind And the Bride Wore White—one of a few books that launched conversations about purity, shame, grace, and redemption for an entire generation of Christian young people. Together, Juli and Dannah reflect on the wounds many women carry around sexuality, the beauty of God's forgiveness, and why purity was never meant to be about perfection. Guest: Dannah Gresh Join an Authentic Intimacy Online Book Study! Follow-up Resources: Pre-order And the Bride Wore White: Seven Truths to Living In Sexual Integrity No Matter Your Past by Dannah Gresh Q&A: How can I overcome the shame I experience as a result of purity culture? Follow Dannah at @dannah_gresh Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy
May 18 · 31 min
Is Good Sex a "Right" in Marriage?, #319
This week, Juli and Hannah tackle the question, Am I entitled to sex—even good or regular sex—in my marriage? Drawing on stories, biblical truth, and personal reflection, Juli challenges common assumptions about sex, covenant, and what it really means to love like Jesus did. This episode offers hope for couples navigating pain, unmet expectations, or seasons of healing—and it just might challenge everything you've been taught about sex and marriage. Co-host: Hannah Nitz What are your thoughts on this conversation? We'd love to hear from you! Leave us a rating and review. Follow-up Resources: Check out our new Hot Topic Kit: Building a Great Sex Life God, Sex, & Your Marriage by Dr. Juli Slattery How To Go From Demand and "Duty Sex" to True Sexual Intimacy by Dr. Juli Slattery (blog) Is Sex Sabotaging Love in Your Marriage? by Dr. Juli Slattery (blog) Are You Entitled to (Good) Sex in Marriage? by Dr. Juli Slattery (blog) Follow Hannah Nitz @hannahnitz Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy
May 11 · 50 min
Marriage, Faith, and Same-Sex Attraction with Tony Scarcello, #607
This week, Juli sits down with pastor and author Tony Scarcello to hear his story of wrestling with same-sex attraction from a young age, the weight of shame and silence he carried, and how God met him in the middle of it all. Some conversations aren't meant to be easy, they're meant to help us grow. This is one of those. Tony's story will challenge you, encourage you, and remind you how deeply we all need the grace of God. Guest: Tony Scarcello Online Book Studies are open. Grab your spot today! Follow-up Resources: Preorder Love All Our Neighbors: How Churches That Hold a Traditional Sexual Ethic Can Care for LGBTQ People by Tony Scarcello (available May 19) Regenerate: Following Jesus After Deconstruction by Tony Scarcello Follow Tony @tony_scarcello Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy
May 4 · 41 min
What if I'm Attracted to Someone Who Isn't My Spouse? #606
This week, Juli sits down with Joe and Hannah to tackle the question: What do you do when you're attracted to someone who isn't your spouse? Together, they unpack the reality that attraction outside of marriage isn't a matter of if, but when. From the myth of "soulmates" to the powerful role of brain chemistry, this conversation explores why these feelings happen, and why they don't have to define your choices. You'll also learn how small decisions, honesty, and intentional investment in your marriage can protect what matters most. Co-hosts: Hannah Nitz and Joe Caruso Check out our newest Hot Topic Kit: Building a Great Sex Life Tell us what you think! Leave us a rating and review. Follow-up Resources: Preorder 25 Questions You're Afraid to Ask About Sex, Love, and Intimacy by Dr. Juli Slattery Be the first to know when Online Book Studies open up Sexual Attraction Isn't As Important as You Think, Here's Why by Juli Slattery (blog) Follow Joe Caruso at @joecaruso06 Follow Hannah Nitz at @hannahnitz Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy
April 27 · 43 min
Can I Still Be Loved? Faith, STIs, and the Journey Out of Shame, #605
Shame has a way of convincing us to hide. But Jesus doesn't turn away from your shame. He steps toward it. This week, Juli sits down with Dr. Carol Tanksley and Allie Mazur to shed light on the often unspoken reality of living with an STI. Together, they unpack the weight of shame, the fear of rejection, and the questions that can follow a diagnosis like herpes. You'll be reminded that while consequences of sin may linger, they don't have the final word. Jesus meets us right in the middle of our brokenness, offering freedom, healing, and hope. If you've ever felt like your story is "too much" or "too broken," this conversation is for you. Guests: Dr. Carol Tanksley, OBGYN and Allie Mazur Follow-Up Resources: Q&A: Are sexual sin and sexual brokenness the same thing? (video) Q&A: Where do I begin healing? (video) How to Get Past Shame from Sexual Sin by Juli Slattery (blog) Dr. Carol Tanksley's website: drcarolministries.com Follow Dr. Carol at @drcarolt Allie Mazur's website: livebeyondherpes.com Follow Allie Mazur at @allie_beyond Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy
April 20 · 30 min
How Do You Keep Married Sex Exciting?, #604
Married sex doesn't just "stay hot"...but you can fan the flames to create something even more meaningful (and longer-lasting) than honeymoon sex. This week, we're talking about how to keep married sex exciting over the long haul. You'll learn about the shift that happens in long-term relationships, why desire can fade into routine, and what actually helps bring the spark back. No theory. No pressure. Just real-life rhythms and practical ways you can reconnect emotionally and physically with your spouse. If you've ever thought "we're good... but it's not like it used to be," this conversation is for you! Co-host: Hannah Nitz What did you think of this conversation? We'd love to hear from you! Leave us a comment and review. Follow-up Resources: Preorder 25 Questions You're Afraid to Ask About Sex, Love, and Intimacy by Dr. Juli Slattery Be the first to know when Online Book Studies open up Join Dr. Jennifer Degler's Dare of the Month email list. Follow Hannah Nitz @hannahnitz Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy
April 13 · 41 min
5 Ways To Navigate Differences & Build a Stronger Marriage, #603
One of you is ready to leave early. The other is still looking for their shoes. Welcome to marriage. This week, Juli and Mike are on stage at the Love Like You Mean It Cruise! Live and unfiltered, they talk honestly about how their differences have shown up in parenting, intimacy, and their pace of life—and how they've learned to let those differences draw them closer, instead of driving them apart. Guest: Mike Slattery Join Mike & Juli on the Love Like You Mean It Cruise in 2027! Follow-up Resources: 3 Reasons Women Tend to Take Over in Marriage by Juli Slattery (blog) Q&A: How can I help my husband grow up and take responsibility? (video) The Very Important Difference Between Conflict & Fighting by Juli Slattery (blog)
April 6 · 40 min
Why Sexual Trauma Hurts Us So Deeply (& What Healing Looks Like), #602
Some wounds don't just live in your memories… they live in your body, in your relationships, and in your sense of safety. If you've ever wondered, "Can I be whole after sexual trauma?," you're not alone—and you're not beyond healing. That's the question Juli is tackling this week. You'll hear why sexual trauma uniquely affects identity and intimacy, how shame and self-blame keep us stuck, and what real sexual wholeness looks like. This conversation is for anyone who has experienced sexual trauma (or loves someone who has) and is wondering: Is healing really possible for me? Co-host: Hannah Nitz Register for the webinar Healing After Sexual Abuse: Practical Guidance for Pastors, Leaders, and Caregivers. Follow-up resources: Find a Christian counselor or sex therapist: check out ABCST or MyCounselor.online Surprised By the Healer by Juli Slattery and Linda Dillow The Wounded Heart by Dan Allender Try Softer by Aundi Kolber God's Healing Stinks by Juli Slattery (blog) Q&A: Past sexual trauma inhibits my ability to enjoy sex. Is there hope that I can ever heal? with Dr. Juli Slattery Follow Hannah Nitz @hannahnitz Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy
March 30 · 55 min
How To Date Well Without Losing Your Faith (Or Your Heart), #601
Their love story made headlines—but not for the reasons you might expect. In this conversation, CD and Melody Fabien share a completely different vision for dating—one rooted in purpose, boundaries, and hearing God's voice. If you're tired of hook-ups, ghosting, and the pressure of fast-paced dating, this episode is for you. Guest: CD & Melody Fabien Check out our brand-new Hot Topic Kit: Healthy Dating & Boundaries. Follow-up Resources: Check out CD & Melody's resources at https://cdandmelody.com/ Watch their news-worthy first kiss. Q&A: What's the Difference Between Sexual Integrity and Purity? (video) Q&A: How Can I Steward My Sexuality As a Single? (video) What Do I Do With My Sexual Desires? by Juli Slattery (blog) Follow Melody on IG at @melodyfabien Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy
March 23 · 35 min
Why Sex Feels Hard (& How to Make it Amazing Again), #600
Many married couples carry a secret: one of them doesn't like sex—they may even dread it. For years, sex has felt more like obligation than pleasure, and they've quietly believed something must be wrong with them. This week, we're tackling the unspoken question: "What if I'm married and I don't like sex?" We'll talk about the real reasons sex can feel difficult or even painful, and call out a few common lies that keep couples stuck. If you've ever felt confused, disappointed, or alone in your struggles with sex, this conversation offers hope, practical insight, and the reminder you don't have to stay where you are. Co-host: Hannah Nitz We'd love to hear your thoughts about this conversation. Leave us a rating and review. Follow-up Resources: Be the first to know when Online Book Studies open up Q&A: Past sexual trauma inhibits my ability to enjoy sex. Is there hope that I can heal? (video) Q&A: Sex has never been pleasurable in our marriage. Should I fake it? (video) Preorder 25 Questions You're Afraid to Ask About Sex, Love, and Intimacy by Dr. Juli Slattery God, Sex & Your Marriage by Juli Slattery Passion Pursuit: What Kind of Love Are You Making? by Juli Slattery Restoring the Pleasure by Cliff & Joyce Penner Enjoy! The Gift of Sexual Pleasure for Women by Cliff & Joyce Penner Follow Hannah Nitz @hannahnitz Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy