It's Not About the Alcohol

EP354: If it feels like your drinking hasn't changed, track this metric instead

You're still drinking more than you should, and you want to know if real change actually is a slow process, or if you're just making excuses so you don't have to quit. Here's the honest answer, plus a reliable metric to track so that you can feel more confident about your progress. What you'll learn: Why your drinking is usually the last thing to change, not the first Why counting drinks is counterproductive to your progress Why you lose motivation to "drink less," and the perspective shift that helps you stay consistent What to do when you wake up and realize you "did it again" How to tell whether your discomfort is a sign that you're failing or growing Nervous system regulation is the missing puzzle piece for most high-performing women. Register for the free masterclass, The Science Behind Take It or Leave It: Why Some Women Can and How You Can Too. [Watch the Masterclass Here] One conversation won't change your drinking. But it can change your perspective on what you need to focus on. If you want to bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be, book a free discovery call. [Book Your Discovery Call Here]

EP353: Your brain talks you into drinking. Here's how to talk back.

You wake up asking the same question you asked yesterday. What the hell is wrong with me? But you've already decided the answer is that you're drinking is out of control. This episode shows you how the story you keep telling yourself becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, and gives you three moves to shift your perspective of what's going on (and what really needs to change). What you'll learn: Why the way you describe your drinking becomes the reality you live in The difference between a real threat and a false alarm Why trying to control or quit drinking backfires, and what actually causes change The three moves that rewrite the story that keeps you stuck in the cycle of overdrinking There are four types of drinkers. Take the free 3-minute quiz to find out which language pattern is running your habit. [Take the Quiz Here] Ready to change your drinking without labeling it a drinking "problem?" Book a free discovery call with one of Colleen's certified coaches to find out if this approach can work for you. [Book Your Discovery Call Here]

EP352: Drinking turns off your brain. Planning to quit turns it back on. Here's how to break the cycle.

You wake up feeling rough and decide, "I'm not drinking tonight." For a few hours, that plan feels solid. But evening comes and you pour one anyway. And now your brain has even more evidence that you're not in control. Which makes you less motivated to try again (because what's the point?) This episode shows you why planning to "not drink" often backfires and what to do instead. What you'll learn: Why high achieving "planners" also tend to drink too much How planning to control your drinking builds pressure in your nervous system The one-word pattern-interrupt that shifts you from "planning for later" into action (right now) How to figure out what you really need (it's never a drink) [Click Here] for the Take it or Leave it Roadmap Series. Before you can change your drinking, you have to understand how it's actually helping you. These 5 videos walk you through the whole process of change, starting with why your drinking makes perfect sense. Watch one a day or binge all five in under an hour. [Click Here] to book a free discovery call with Colleen's enrollment team if you know you need guidance, support and accountability. You'll leave with a clear action plan for giving yourself more of what you need, whether you end up working with us or not.

EP351: Why joy is key to drinking less (not discipline)

You've been telling yourself that if you were more disciplined, then you wouldn't drink as much as you do. But the problem isn't that you need more control. It's that giving yourself permission to relax means that you're wasting time or falling behind. Which is why you need alcohol. This episode explains why expanding your capacity for peace and joy is what actually reduces alcohol cravings, and gives you one small goal to help you get started. What you'll learn: Why GLP1 drugs reduce alcohol cravings (and how to get the same effect on your own) Why motivating yourself with shame and fear makes cravings worse The difference between wanting more from yourself and wanting more for yourself What to do when peace and joy aren't available to you (yet) Not sure why you drink the way you do? Take the quiz to find out which of the four drinker types is running your patterns. [Take the Quiz Now] Ready to stop figuring this out alone? Schedule a free discovery call with the enrollment team. You'll walk away with a customized action plan, your patterns named, and the specific skills you need to build. [Book Your DC Here]

EP350: How to tell the difference between self-care and self-sabotage (before your next drink)

You set a plan to take a break from drinking and made it a few days. Then you blew it. And now you're trying to figure out why you keep breaking promises to yourself when it comes to alcohol. This episode gives you a step by step strategy (based on curiosity and self-compassion instead of judgment) to help you reduce your drinking. What you'll learn: Why taking a break from drinking isn't about proving you can go without it The five questions to ask after a setback (instead of "what's wrong with me") Why the same glass of wine is self-care one night and self-sabotage the next How to follow your intuition instead of arbitrary rules you're going to break anyway Want to know if this approach can actually work for you? Book a free discovery call with Colleen's enrollment team. It's free, there's no pressure, and you'll leave knowing exactly where you stand. [Book Your Discovery Call Here] Find out what type of drinker you are. Because before you can change HOW you drink, you have to understand WHY you drink. [Click here to take the free quiz].

EP349 Why you can't say no to wine at night (it's a capacity problem, not a willpower problem)

You keep telling yourself you'll take the night off, or at least stop at two glasses. But then you drain the entire bottle (as usual). This episode shows you why that's not a willpower problem, and walks you through Colleen's Capacity Audit so you can see exactly what's draining you. What you'll learn: Why you reach for wine to relax after work even though you know that's not what you really need Why you can't stop at one glass even when you planned to Why willpower won't help you drink less, and what actually does How to calm your nervous system in three minutes, no drink required The five-category capacity audit that shows you where you're leaking energy Realizing your drinking is a lack of capacity (not willpower) means you've found the problem. If you're looking for the solution, click here to schedule a discovery call. [Book Your Discovery Call] Resources mentioned: It's Not About the Alcohol EP335 I was drinking every night again. Here's how I stopped. And EP337 Why drinking every night destroys your confidence (and how to stop)

EP348: Why wondering if you're an alcoholic makes you drink more (and a better question to ponder)

If you're an alcoholic, how is it possible that you can get more done before breakfast than most people do in a week? And yet, you still know that you drink too much. So you Google your questions, maybe take the online quizzes, which don't help. This episode gives you a better way to look at your drinking and one specific question that has a much more clear and productive answer. What you'll learn: Why no one can actually tell you whether you're an alcoholic The belief that quietly makes your drinking harder to control How three out of four people who are dependent on alcohol change their drinking without rehab or AA What your nervous system is really asking for when you pour the wine The question to ask instead of "am I an alcoholic?" Want insight into the emotional patterns that are driving your drinking? Take the 3-minute quiz to find out what type of drinker you are. [Take the Quiz Here] Want to know if the "take it or leave it" methodology can work for you? Schedule a discovery call and find out. [Book Your Discovery Call Now]

EP347: Why you can drink a whole bottle and not feel "drunk" (and how to retrain your brain)

You've always been a little proud of your high tolerance. You can drink grown men under the table and still walk and talk like a rockstar in four inch heels. But lately it scares you. How is it even possible to drink that much and not even feel it? This episode answers that, and shows you how to "feel" the signals in your body that you've trained yourself to ignore. What you'll learn: Why a high tolerance isn't a sign of superior liver function, and what it's actually hiding Why it's actually quite normal for busy and high-functioning women to over-drink How to tell the difference between buzzed and intoxicated (without a breathalyzer) The hangover reflection I teach my clients to retrain their brain so they can learn from their mistakes (and stop repeating them) Are you ready to change? Book a free 20-minute discovery call with one of Colleen's certified coaches for an honest conversation about where you are, where you want to be, and what it will actually take to get there. Take the Quiz to find out what type of drinker you are. Because you have to see the pattern before you can break the pattern.

EP346: How to cope with conflict in your relationship without drinking with Karen McMahon

You've been drinking more lately because of your partner. Their mood is the problem. Their lack of effort. Their inability to have an honest conversation. But if this is their problem, why are you stuck? My interview with high conflict divorce coach Karen McMahon will show you how to take your power back instead of drowning it with alcohol. What you'll learn: Why drinking feels safer than conflict (and what's actually happening in your nervous system) The seven levels of emotional energy and how drinking keeps you on the lower end How to shift your focus from what your partner needs to change to what you need to change Why your boundaries keep getting plowed and what to do about it Three somatic tools you can use mid-conflict to stop reaching for the wine If you're ready to take full responsibility for where you are and where you want to be, the first step is identifying the pattern that's running you. Take the 3-minute quiz to find out which of the four drinker types is driving your pattern and get the Take It or Leave It Roadmap. [Take Quiz Here] Ready to stop figuring this out alone? Book a free discovery call. The call isn't about figuring out what's wrong with you. It's about figuring out what kind of support you actually need. [Book Your Discovery Call] Resources: Karen McMahon: Journey Beyond Divorce Podcast Free Guide: Understanding and Managing Your Emotional Energy journeybeyonddivorce.com

EP345: The KNOW-DO Gap: Why you keep drinking when you know you shouldn't.

You know you should be drinking less, but you can't follow through. You promise and plan to do something different and then repeat the same mistakes over and over. This episode explains the gap between knowing what you should be doing and actually doing it. And gives you the perspective shift that you need to make to close it. What you'll learn: The two reasons "knowing" doesn't translate to doing Why your "celebration drinking" is often stress drinking in a party dress The perspective shift that turns your dopamine back on What actually has to change before your drinking can change Quiz: Take the free 3-minute quiz to find out why YOU can't just take it or leave it: [Take the quiz here] Ready to stop trying to figure this out alone? Book a free 20-minute discovery call with one of Colleen's certified coaches. You'll leave with clarity about where you are, where you want to be, and what's standing in your way. No pressure, no sales pitch. [Book your Discovery Call here]

EP344: The Hidden Hormone Imbalance Making You Drink Too Much (And The Labs Your Doctor Isn't Running)

You've been blaming yourself for drinking too much. You assume the brain fog, the fatigue, the weight you can't shift, the way you can't stick to your plan, all of it, is because you drink. But what if the reason you're drinking so much is that your hormones are off? This episode walks you through what to test for and what to do when your doctor tells you everything looks "normal." What you'll learn: The symptoms most women blame on their drinking that are actually hormone imbalances The specific labs your doctor probably isn't running (and what they should cost) Why your labs can come back "normal" while you still feel like crap How nervous system dysregulation creates the cascade that keeps you stuck Why hormone support is a foundation, not a fix, for changing your drinking Take the 3-minute quiz to find out which of the four drinker types is running your nervous system, and get a roadmap tailored to your specific pattern. [Take Quiz Now] Ready to do the other piece? [Book a free discovery call] Resources: Amber Romaniuk: amberapproved.ca The No Sugarcoating Podcast with Amber Romaniuk

EP343: Why drinking to relax anxiety makes it's worse (and what to do instead)

You've been searching for something to take the edge off. Some tool or strategy that can help you relax so you don't feel like you need to drink so much. CBD. THC gummies. A sleepy-time tea. The anti-anxiety medication your doctor offered. This episode explains why nothing you've tried works as well as alcohol, and what your nervous system really needs. What you'll learn: Why alcohol helps you relax in the short term (and how that traps you in dependancy) The two parts of anxiety your doctor doesn't understand Why willpower isn't the issue here Three practices that change your relationship with anxiety for good Before you can break the pattern, you have to see it. After coaching thousands of very successful, professional women, Colleen has identified four specific types of drinkers. Each requires a unique approach. Take the free 3-minute quiz to find out what type of drinker you are and get the Take it or Leave it Roadmap Series built for your specific pattern. If you'd like to have a private conversation with a certified coach about which Emotional Sobriety Coaching program would be the best fit for you, click here to schedule a free discovery call. Resources mentioned: The Anxiety Rx by Dr. Russell Kennedy EP190: Interview with Dr. Russell Kennedy Can you Take it or Leave it? Take the quiz to discover what type of drinker you are so you can understand what's behind your biological urge to drink. Click here to take the quiz. Find me on: YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

EP342 Change THIS if you want to drink like a normal person again

You've been told that the best way to stop drinking too much is to stop drinking entirely. This episode shows you why that advice usually doesn't work for high-achieving women. Dr. Tammie Kennedy is here to share her experience as one of my students in The Next Chapter. She'll tell you the truth about not only what's changed for her, but also what hasn't changed after nearly a year in the program. What you'll learn: Why the women who try the hardest are often the slowest to change their drinking What changes first when you stop trying to fix the drinking The shame loop that keeps high-achieving women stuck in restriction-and-rebound cycles What really stops most women from being able to change Click here to take the 3-minute quiz to find out which of the four drinker types is running your nervous system. Do you need to speak with someone? Click here to schedule a free discovery call with Colleen or one of her certified coaches. Find me on: YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

EP341: Why You Need Alcohol To Go To Sleep (And how to break the pattern)

You can't fall asleep without a few drinks. Every time you've tried going to bed without it, you end up back on the couch an hour later pouring a glass because your brain wouldn't shut down. This episode explains what's happening in your nervous system and gives you three practices to rebuild your desire (and ability) to go to sleep without alcohol. What you'll learn: Why trying to "not drink" leads to drinking earlier to "knock yourself out" The difference between alcohol-induced sedation and sleep on your emotional well-being How to get back to sleep when you wake up at 3 a.m. The importance of letting yourself feel tired The best morning and evening practices to reset your circadian rhythm Wand to know why can't YOU just take it or leave it? Click here to take the 3-minute quiz to find out which of the four drinker patterns is running your nervous system. You'll get your results plus my new Take It or Leave It Roadmap series that's built for your drinker type delivered to your inbox. Find me on: YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

EP340: Why your drinking makes perfect sense (and how to actually rewire your brain)

You've been kicking yourself for finishing the bottle (again) when you promised it was going to be just one glass. This episode explains why trying harder isn't working, and gives you three principles of self-directed neuroplasticity that actually rewire your brain so drinking less stops feeling like you're fighting your own instincts. What you'll learn: Why over-drinking isn't a willpower failure. It's a survival strategy your nervous system built to keep up with your life How to stop setting goals your brain can't work with, and start pointing it at what you actually want The four drinking patterns running high-achieving women, and why you can't see the one running you Why fighting old habits reinforces them, and what to build instead The low bar goal that keeps you consistent when your stretch goal isn't realistic Not sure why you drink the way you do? Click here to take the 3-minute quiz to find out which of the four drinker types is running your nervous system. You'll get your results plus my new Take It or Leave It Roadmap Series delivered to your inbox. Find me on: YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

EP339: The 3 Hidden Patterns Behind Overdrinking in Busy and Successful Women

You're not a woman who needs more information. You read the books. You follow the sober curious accounts. You've done Dry January. You've downloaded Sunnyside or Reframe. Every Sunday morning you promise yourself this week is going to be different. And here you are, still on the hamster wheel. There's nothing wrong with you. You're just trying to solve the wrong problem. This week Colleen walks through three blindspots that keep busy, successful women stuck in cycles of overdrinking. Why your identity is running the show without you knowing it. Why your refusal to slow down feels like strength. And why you can't criticize or out-think your way out of a pattern you can't see. Plus the story of teaching yoga from a chair while on bedrest with her fourth pregnancy, pushing a double jog stroller a mile and a half to the pool with four kids, and why none of this was ever actually about the alcohol. If you want a raw, real, honest conversation about what's actually going on, book a free discovery call. It's not about what's wrong with you. It's about figuring out what kind of support you actually need. Those are very different conversations. If you see the benefit in having a private conversation with a certified coach, Click Here To Schedule A Free Discovery Call Watch The Free 45 Minute Masterclass: The science behind take it or leave it–why some women can and how you can too. Find me on: YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

EP338 Minisode: Why You Can Explain Your Drinking But Still Can't Change It

In this episode, Colleen pulls apart something that sounds right, but quietly keeps women stuck: thinking about your feelings instead of actually feeling them. Because most women in this space aren't avoiding the work. They're doing a ton of it. They can explain their patterns. They understand their triggers. They know why they drink. And yet… nothing really shifts. Colleen walks through the difference between intellectual processing and physical release, and why emotional energy that doesn't move doesn't disappear… it stays in the body. That's where the tension, the anxiety, the shutdown, and yes... the cravings, come from. This isn't about more insight. It's about learning how to actually let something move through you instead of managing it in your head. And for most women, that's the part they've never been taught. 🔑 Key Takeaways ~Why understanding your emotions isn't the same as processing them ~How emotional energy gets "stuck" in the body ~Why overthinking creates anxiety, tension, and cravings ~The cultural conditioning that teaches women to suppress expression ~What it actually looks like to release an emotion (not just label it) ~Why you can't selectively numb pain without numbing joy ~A simple 3-step emotional release practice to start reconnecting with your body This episode isn't asking you to figure anything out. It's asking you to stop trying. Because the shift isn't in your thinking… it's in your willingness to feel what's already there. If you'd like to learn more about our Emotional Sobriety Coaching programs: ---> Click here to schedule a discovery call ---> Watch The FREE Masterclass Find me on: YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

• Transcript

EP337: Why drinking every night destroys your confidence (and how to stop)

Now that I'm on the other side of my recent slip back into drinking every night, I can see exactly what happened—and more importantly, I can explain the mechanism that makes this so dangerous for high-achieving women. In this episode, I'm breaking down why nightly drinking doesn't just affect your health—it systematically destroys your confidence, your self-trust, and your sense of who you are. And I'm giving you the exact framework for how to stop. In this episode: Why the belief "I'll feel better when things calm down" is actually a symptom, not wisdom The mind virus that makes your brain blame everything wrong in your life on alcohol How shame disguises itself as "personal accountability" and "radical honesty" in high achieving women The reason you can't think your way out of a thinking problem (which is what this is) What actually shifted for me—and why I don't need willpower to stay sober during the week Ready to do the work? If you'd like to to have a private conversation with a certified coach, Click Here To Schedule A Free Discovery Call Watch The Free 45 Minute Masterclass: The science behind take it or leave it–why some women can and how you can too. Find me on: YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

EP336 Minisode: Why Giving Yourself Permission To Drink Actually Helps You Drink Less

In this episode, Colleen revisits one of the hardest ideas to trust at first: that before your drinking changes, you have to stop making your drinking the enemy. And yes… that can feel dangerous. Because the moment you stop restricting, judging, and trying to control yourself, your brain often swings the other direction. It sees a loophole. It tests the boundaries. It acts like the rebellious teenager who just got told there's no curfew. But Colleen explains why that doesn't mean the work isn't working. It means you're finally coming face to face with the internal conflict that's been there all along. She breaks down how restriction backfires, how your body knows when you're lying to yourself, and why the real work of emotional sobriety isn't about forcing better behavior. It's about learning how to feel the whole truth, question your programming, and rebuild trust with yourself one urge at a time. 🔑 Key Takeaways ~Why giving yourself permission can make drinking spike at first ~How restriction fuels rebellion, self-sabotage, and binge behavior ~Why your body is a better truth detector than your thoughts ~The difference between your urge and the meaning you assign to it ~Three tools to use before giving in to an urge This episode is a reminder that the goal isn't to become someone who never wants a drink, but to become someone who stops abandoning herself in the process of wanting one. If you'd like to learn more about our available coaching programs, Click Here To Apply For A Discovery Call! Find me on: YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

EP335: I was drinking every night again. Here's how I stopped.

Colleen gets really personal in this episode. She shares the hard winter that (at one point) sent her back to nightly drinking, financial stress, the loss of her dog, feeling stuck in a house that no longer feels like home, and walks through exactly how she got out. In this episode: Why going back to an old drinking pattern is not evidence you failed. It's data. The rat study that proves hope creates more persistence than willpower or skill ever could Why focusing on your drinking makes the pattern worse, not better Upstream thinking: what it actually looks like to increase your capacity instead of restricting your behavior The breathwork class that broke something open. And the brutal Sunday morning that followed. Observer consciousness: the difference between being in the storm and watching it Why stopping drinking didn't fix Colleen's anxiety, sleep, or low energy. And what that means for you. Do you need help? We're ready to talk to you! If you'd like to learn more about our Emotional Sobriety Coaching programs. Click here to schedule a discovery call Find me on: YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer X (Twitter): @NotAboutTheAlc