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Human School · August 4 · 17 min

Is Certainty Making Us Lonely? with Miles Adcox

Why does being right feel so much better than being curious? And is our obsession with certainty the cause of our greatest divides? This episode breaks down the psychology behind certainty — why our brains default to it, what it costs us in our relationships, and why curiosity might be the more reliable path to actually feeling connected to other people. What you'll learn How confirmation bias shapes what we believe is true, without us noticing it happening What the illusory truth effect is, and why repetition can make an opinion feel like fact How to tell the difference between healthy disagreement and contempt Why algorithms and media incentives reward certainty over nuance — and what that does to us over time A mindset shift for staying curious under pressure, borrowed from an unlikely place: horsemanship Why feeling understood does more for anxiety than winning an argument ever does How to hold strong beliefs without needing everyone around you to agree Building your curiosity muscles? Onsite offers a range of experiences to do life-changing work around your story and what your body might be holding onto. Learn more here. Timestamps 00:00 — This might be why you're feeling lonely 02:30 — Illusory truth effect and confirmation bias 05:30 — Making content in the age of outrage 07:00 — The real product is Identity 09:45 — A horse changed everything 13:00 — Understanding vs. "winning" 15:00 — Becoming harder to recruit Stay connected with Human School: YouTube - https://hubs.la/Q04rLNLl0 Instagram - https://hubs.la/Q04rLNVX0 Threads - https://hubs.la/Q04rLP6D0 TikTok - https://hubs.la/Q04rLPfY0

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transcript

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show notes

Why does being right feel so much better than being curious? And is our obsession with certainty the cause of our greatest divides?

This episode breaks down the psychology behind certainty — why our brains default to it, what it costs us in our relationships, and why curiosity might be the more reliable path to actually feeling connected to other people.

What you'll learn

  • How confirmation bias shapes what we believe is true, without us noticing it happening
  • What the illusory truth effect is, and why repetition can make an opinion feel like fact
  • How to tell the difference between healthy disagreement and contempt
  • Why algorithms and media incentives reward certainty over nuance — and what that does to us over time
  • A mindset shift for staying curious under pressure, borrowed from an unlikely place: horsemanship
  • Why feeling understood does more for anxiety than winning an argument ever does
  • How to hold strong beliefs without needing everyone around you to agree


Building your curiosity muscles? Onsite offers a range of experiences to do life-changing work around your story and what your body might be holding onto. Learn more here.


Timestamps

  • 00:00 — This might be why you're feeling lonely
  • 02:30 — Illusory truth effect and confirmation bias
  • 05:30 — Making content in the age of outrage
  • 07:00 — The real product is Identity
  • 09:45 — A horse changed everything
  • 13:00 — Understanding vs. "winning"
  • 15:00 — Becoming harder to recruit


Stay connected with Human School:

YouTube - https://hubs.la/Q04rLNLl0

Instagram - https://hubs.la/Q04rLNVX0

Threads - https://hubs.la/Q04rLP6D0

TikTok - https://hubs.la/Q04rLPfY0

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