how to twenty-something · October 19 · 13 min

Ep. 175 Quality Over Quantity

Episode Summary You've probably been told that everything is a numbers game: apply to more jobs, go on more dates, attend more networking events, meet more people. But what if doing more isn't actually getting you anywhere? In this episode, I'm talking about why quality matters more than quantity when it comes to dating, making friends, and building your career. I share how I'm changing my own approach to networking, and how you can apply that same mentality to your dating life, friendships, and job search. We'll talk about how to be more intentional with the people you meet, why dating apps can trick you into thinking there's always someone better around the corner, and how spending five hours on one well-researched job application might get you further than sending out 100 applications. Because putting yourself out there is important, but you can't keep looking for more opportunities when you haven't done anything with the ones you already have. Who This Episode Is For This episode is for you if... You're constantly applying to jobs but aren't seeing results. You're on dating apps, going on dates, and still feel like you're getting nowhere. You attend networking events but struggle to turn acquaintances into meaningful connections. You know a lot of people but don't feel like you have many close friendships. You feel pressure to do more because everyone keeps telling you it's a numbers game. You spend more time meeting new people than following up with the people you've already met. You want to build better relationships but aren't sure how to move beyond small talk. You're measuring your progress by how many applications you send, events you attend, or dates you go on. You're ready to stop checking boxes and start being more intentional with your time and effort. Key Takeaways Quantity can get you opportunities, but quality is what helps you make something meaningful out of them. You don't always need to meet more people. Sometimes you need to get to know the people you've already met. In networking, a meaningful conversation and a follow-up coffee can be more valuable than collecting 30 business cards. Focusing on fewer matches and asking better questions can lead to more meaningful dating experiences. Building friendships requires more than attending events and making small talk Stop measuring progress exclusively by numbers. Consider the time, effort, and thought you're putting into the process. Before attending another networking event, reaching out to more people, or applying to more jobs, ask yourself whether you've followed up on the opportunities you already have. Being genuinely interested in someone makes a difference in the relationship you're building. You can have a packed calendar, tons of acquaintances, and hundreds of LinkedIn connections without having meaningful relationships or getting closer to your goals. The goal isn't to stop putting yourself out there. It's to be more intentional when you do. Frequently Asked Questions Is job searching really a numbers game? There is a quantity component to job searching, but sending more applications isn't always the best use of your time. Researching companies, tailoring your resume, connecting with people in your industry, and following up can make your applications more intentional and help you build valuable relationships. How can I make networking events more productive? Instead of trying to meet everyone in the room, focus on having meaningful conversations with one or two people. Ask thoughtful questions, remember details about their lives, and follow up afterward. The goal is to build a relationship, not collect business cards. How can I stop treating dating like a numbers game? Try investing more time in fewer matches instead of having the same surface-level conversation with 15 people at once. Ask better questions, genuinely try to get to know someone, and give the connection an opportunity to develop before immediately moving on to the next option. Should I focus on quality instead of quantity when applying for jobs? Rather than sending as many applications as possible, spend time researching companies you're genuinely interested in, tailoring your resume, finding relevant connections, and following up. A smaller number of thoughtful applications can be a better use of your time than sending out applications without much consideration. How do I know when I need to do more versus do better? Before adding another task, event, application, or date to your calendar, look at what you've already done. Have you followed up with the people you met? Have you strengthened existing connections? Have you improved your approach? Sometimes the next step isn't doing more. It's getting more intentional about what you're already doing. Helpful Resources: NEW COURSE: How to Make Adulting Suck Less: https://jessdiamondcoaching.com/suck-less/ Watch my TEDx Talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RE_7I6vDKrI 3 Ways to Walk Into Any Room With Confidence: https://jessdiamondcoaching.com/confidence Let's chat: https://calendly.com/coach_jessdiamond/success Email Me: coach.jessdiamond@gmail.com Contribute to an episode: https://forms.gle/QwvBrZFbZXRdCjQv9 Be a Guest: https://forms.gle/oiLVCbrydjzaK5pq5 Music: Hide and Seek by Free Music https://soundcloud.com/fm_freemusic Music Promoted by: https://www.free-stock-music.com Creative Commons/Attribution 3.0 Unported License (CC BY 3.0): https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US

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Episode Summary

You've probably been told that everything is a numbers game: apply to more jobs, go on more dates, attend more networking events, meet more people.

But what if doing more isn't actually getting you anywhere?

In this episode, I'm talking about why quality matters more than quantity when it comes to dating, making friends, and building your career. I share how I'm changing my own approach to networking, and how you can apply that same mentality to your dating life, friendships, and job search.

We'll talk about how to be more intentional with the people you meet, why dating apps can trick you into thinking there's always someone better around the corner, and how spending five hours on one well-researched job application might get you further than sending out 100 applications.

Because putting yourself out there is important, but you can't keep looking for more opportunities when you haven't done anything with the ones you already have.

Who This Episode Is For

This episode is for you if...

You're constantly applying to jobs but aren't seeing results.
You're on dating apps, going on dates, and still feel like you're getting nowhere.
You attend networking events but struggle to turn acquaintances into meaningful connections.
You know a lot of people but don't feel like you have many close friendships.
You feel pressure to do more because everyone keeps telling you it's a numbers game.
You spend more time meeting new people than following up with the people you've already met.
You want to build better relationships but aren't sure how to move beyond small talk.
You're measuring your progress by how many applications you send, events you attend, or dates you go on.
You're ready to stop checking boxes and start being more intentional with your time and effort.

Key Takeaways

Quantity can get you opportunities, but quality is what helps you make something meaningful out of them.
You don't always need to meet more people. Sometimes you need to get to know the people you've already met.
In networking, a meaningful conversation and a follow-up coffee can be more valuable than collecting 30 business cards.
Focusing on fewer matches and asking better questions can lead to more meaningful dating experiences.
Building friendships requires more than attending events and making small talk
Stop measuring progress exclusively by numbers. Consider the time, effort, and thought you're putting into the process.
Before attending another networking event, reaching out to more people, or applying to more jobs, ask yourself whether you've followed up on the opportunities you already have.
Being genuinely interested in someone makes a difference in the relationship you're building.
You can have a packed calendar, tons of acquaintances, and hundreds of LinkedIn connections without having meaningful relationships or getting closer to your goals.
The goal isn't to stop putting yourself out there. It's to be more intentional when you do.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is job searching really a numbers game?

There is a quantity component to job searching, but sending more applications isn't always the best use of your time. Researching companies, tailoring your resume, connecting with people in your industry, and following up can make your applications more intentional and help you build valuable relationships.

How can I make networking events more productive?

Instead of trying to meet everyone in the room, focus on having meaningful conversations with one or two people. Ask thoughtful questions, remember details about their lives, and follow up afterward. The goal is to build a relationship, not collect business cards.

How can I stop treating dating like a numbers game?

Try investing more time in fewer matches instead of having the same surface-level conversation with 15 people at once. Ask better questions, genuinely try to get to know someone, and give the connection an opportunity to develop before immediately moving on to the next option.

Should I focus on quality instead of quantity when applying for jobs?

Rather than sending as many applications as possible, spend time researching companies you're genuinely interested in, tailoring your resume, finding relevant connections, and following up. A smaller number of thoughtful applications can be a better use of your time than sending out applications without much consideration.

How do I know when I need to do more versus do better?

Before adding another task, event, application, or date to your calendar, look at what you've already done. Have you followed up with the people you met? Have you strengthened existing connections? Have you improved your approach? Sometimes the next step isn't doing more. It's getting more intentional about what you're already doing.