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Gay Men Going Deeper · July 9 · 49 min

Liked by Everyone, Chosen by No One: The Nice Guy Trap

A lot of gay men pride themselves on being “nice”— easygoing, agreeable, low-drama. But what if that’s exactly why you’re not getting what you want? In this episode, we break down the difference between being kind and being “nice,” and how approval-seeking, conflict avoidance, and over-accommodating are quietly killing attraction, respect, and real connection. We talk about: Why “nice” is often a strategy, not a personality The hidden cost of being liked by everyone How this shows up in dating and relationships The difference between being chosen vs. being liked How to shift from approval-seeking to self-respecting If you’ve ever felt overlooked, under-appreciated, or stuck in the friend-zone, this one will hit. Today's Hosts: Matt Landsiedel Michael DiIorio - Take the 360° Self-Review for Gay Men Reno Johnston Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

0:00 · Gay Men Going Deeper: The Nice Guy Trap-49:03

transcript

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show notes

A lot of gay men pride themselves on being “nice”— easygoing, agreeable, low-drama. But what if that’s exactly why you’re not getting what you want?

In this episode, we break down the difference between being kind and being “nice,” and how approval-seeking, conflict avoidance, and over-accommodating are quietly killing attraction, respect, and real connection. 

We talk about:

  • Why “nice” is often a strategy, not a personality
  • The hidden cost of being liked by everyone
  • How this shows up in dating and relationships
  • The difference between being chosen vs. being liked
  • How to shift from approval-seeking to self-respecting

If you’ve ever felt overlooked, under-appreciated, or stuck in the friend-zone, this one will hit.

Today's Hosts:

Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes

- CONNECT WITH US -

- LEARN WITH US -

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