Surrogate Stories: Three Matches Before One Worked

What happens when agency after agency turns you down, and you keep going anyway? This episode is part of the Surrogate Stories, where we hand the mic to the women who make this whole thing possible. These are their journeys, their stories, in their own voices. Eloise Drane sits down with surrogates and lets them tell it start to finish: why they said yes, what carrying for another family really asked of them, and what they carried home afterward. This week, our surrogate is Rachel, who delivered twins in 2015 after being matched three times and declined by several agencies before that. Her answers to the termination and selective reduction questions on the applications were the reason for the automatic denials, and it took another agency telling her so before she understood why. She and Eloise have known each other for more than a decade, and this conversation covers ground the two of them have been over privately for years. Rachel walks through the first match that ended in a miscarriage and a couple who could not afford to continue, the second that ended before it began, and the third, a local couple who had been trying for roughly eight years. She talks about the awkward first dinner, the beta number so high she asked how many were in there, the New Year’s Day bleed that turned out not to be what she feared, and a delivery where the placentas would not detach. Afterward: a doctor who told her he would never clear her to carry again, a two-week checkup where she insisted something was wrong and was told she was missing the babies, a hemorrhage on her husband’s birthday, and a hysterectomy a year later. She is also candid about the one thing she would change, which is not the journey but the contract. If you are considering becoming a surrogate and want to hear the whole arc, including the parts that come long after the babies go home, this is the episode to listen to before you take the next step. "I didn’t give the baby away. They weren’t mine." -- Rachel What You’ll Learn Why she was drawn to carrying for someone else before she had her own children Why several agencies declined her application automatically, and how she found out How she thinks about the termination and reduction clauses surrogates are asked to sign Why she preferred to carry for strangers rather than someone she knew What happened with her first two matches, and how close she came to quitting What repeating screening and psych evaluations three times over was like Guest Bio Rachel is a gestational surrogate and mother of two daughters who carried twins for a local couple through Family Inceptions, delivering in 2015 after two earlier matches ended without a baby. Her delivery and the months that followed brought complications that ultimately ended her ability to carry again. She talks about all of it openly, including what she would negotiate differently, because she wants women considering surrogacy to understand the full arc rather than only the delivery room. This episode is for women who are considering becoming a surrogate and want to understand what can go wrong, what protections to ask for, and what the relationship can look like a decade later. Episode Resources Family Inceptions: familyinceptions.com Fertility Café: thefertilitycafe.com @rachelraymondrealtor Related Episodes Self-Advocacy and Third-Party Reproduction: Your Voice Matters https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/ep-84-self-advocacy-and-third-party-reproduction-your-voice-matters/ Surrogacy and Egg Donor Insurance: Complete Guide to Coverage and Protection https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/ep-122-surrogacy-and-egg-donor-insurance-complete-guide-to-coverage/ Thinking About Becoming a Surrogate? If you’re thinking about becoming a surrogate and want to talk with a team that’s been doing this for over two decades, apply at https://familyinceptionssurrogacy.eggdonorconnect.com/surrogateprescreen?utm_source=FertilityCafe&utm_campaign=SurrogateStories Stay Connected Instagram https://www.instagram.com/fertilitycafe Facebook https://www.facebook.com/fertilitycafe LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/company/fertility-cafe Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/fertilitycafepodcast/ TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@fertilitycafepodcast YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@FertilityCafe More Resources Learn more about surrogacy https://familyinceptions.com/ Listen to past episodes https://www.youtube.com/@FertilityCafe