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Calm AF | Overthinking, Anxiety & Nervous System Regulation · May 20 · 10 min

People Pleasing and Burnout Are NOT Your Only Options

If you've spent your whole life making sure everyone else is okay before you even THINK about yourself…this episode is for youuuuu. Because somewhere along the way, you probably learned there were only two choices in life: either you become the person who shows up for everyone all the time no matter what it costs you…or you become an asshole. So naturally? You chose exhausted. In this episode, we're talking about: people pleasing hypervigilance emotional overfunctioning why your nervous system keeps pulling you back into self abandonment and why there are actually NINETEEN other options between martyr and asshole Also, I tell the story about the time my son genuinely thought he could grow up to be a dog, which somehow became the perfect metaphor for this entire conversation. If you are tired of being the exhausted background character in your own life, this episode will feel like a giant nervous system exhale. In this episode, we talk about: why people pleasing starts so early for so many of us how childhood conditioning teaches us to become "good" the connection between hypervigilance and overgiving why boundaries feel unsafe to the nervous system emotional burnout and resentment the Calm AF Scale and nervous system regulation the "martyr vs asshole" trap why there are nineteen other choices between those extremes how to become the main character in your own life again nervous system recalibration and repetition why caring less does NOT make you selfish Get your reps in. Change takes repetitions. If you want a reminder before life grabs you by the face, grab my Daily Calibrations Each message: Takes less than 2 minutes to read and delivered right to your inbox Ensures the FIRST neural pathway you travel each day is regulated Reminds you that you are the driver of your car, the main character of your life Helps you remember that lightening up makes you more productive GET Daily Recalibrations Want community? If you want to practice making these Daily Recalibrations a lifestyle → Calm AF Life Want high level access? Apply for Private Coaching.

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transcript

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show notes

If you've spent your whole life making sure everyone else is okay before you even THINK about yourself…this episode is for youuuuu.

Because somewhere along the way, you probably learned there were only two choices in life: either you become the person who shows up for everyone all the time no matter what it costs you…or you become an asshole.

So naturally? You chose exhausted.

In this episode, we're talking about:

  • people pleasing
  • hypervigilance
  • emotional overfunctioning
  • why your nervous system keeps pulling you back into self abandonment
  • and why there are actually NINETEEN other options between martyr and asshole

Also, I tell the story about the time my son genuinely thought he could grow up to be a dog, which somehow became the perfect metaphor for this entire conversation.

If you are tired of being the exhausted background character in your own life, this episode will feel like a giant nervous system exhale.

In this episode, we talk about:

  • why people pleasing starts so early for so many of us
  • how childhood conditioning teaches us to become "good"
  • the connection between hypervigilance and overgiving
  • why boundaries feel unsafe to the nervous system
  • emotional burnout and resentment
  • the Calm AF Scale and nervous system regulation
  • the "martyr vs asshole" trap
  • why there are nineteen other choices between those extremes
  • how to become the main character in your own life again
  • nervous system recalibration and repetition
  • why caring less does NOT make you selfish
Get your reps in.

Change takes repetitions. If you want a reminder before life grabs you by the face, grab my Daily Calibrations

Each message:

  • Takes less than 2 minutes to read and delivered right to your inbox
  • Ensures the FIRST neural pathway you travel each day is regulated
  • Reminds you that you are the driver of your car, the main character of your life
  • Helps you remember that lightening up makes you more productive

GET Daily Recalibrations

Want community?

If you want to practice making these Daily Recalibrations a lifestyle → Calm AF Life

Want high level access?

Apply for Private Coaching.

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