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Am I The Problem? · July 8 · 17 min

8. Is This ADHD or Shame?

You have a cupboard full of abandoned hobbies. A project you still can’t bring yourself to throw away. Every unfinished task feels like evidence that you’re lazy, flaky, or incapable. Except what if it isn’t? If you have ADHD and grew up in an environment where your differences were criticised, mocked, or misunderstood, it can become almost impossible to separate the way your brain naturally works from the shame that was layered on top of it. This episode explores how ordinary ADHD traits become confused with character flaws, why unfinished projects carry so much emotional weight, and how years of criticism can leave you measuring yourself with a stick that was never built for your brain. Resources mentioned: Russell Barkley on ADHD and executive functionResearch on self-handicapping and perfectionismResearch on conditioning, shame, and behaviour change Go deeper: The companion episode of Is This A Thing? explores self-handicapping in much more depth, including why shame changes the way we approach goals, how perfectionism develops as a protective strategy, and what the evidence says about breaking the cycle. Available on The Hub: liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub Aperio Profiles: Neurodivergent-informed cognitive and personality profiling for individuals, managers, and HR. Not a diagnosis. A functional map of how your brain actually works. aperioprofiles.co.uk This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

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transcript

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show notes

You have a cupboard full of abandoned hobbies. A project you still can’t bring yourself to throw away. Every unfinished task feels like evidence that you’re lazy, flaky, or incapable.

Except what if it isn’t?

If you have ADHD and grew up in an environment where your differences were criticised, mocked, or misunderstood, it can become almost impossible to separate the way your brain naturally works from the shame that was layered on top of it. This episode explores how ordinary ADHD traits become confused with character flaws, why unfinished projects carry so much emotional weight, and how years of criticism can leave you measuring yourself with a stick that was never built for your brain.

Resources mentioned:

Russell Barkley on ADHD and executive functionResearch on self-handicapping and perfectionismResearch on conditioning, shame, and behaviour change

Go deeper:

The companion episode of Is This A Thing? explores self-handicapping in much more depth, including why shame changes the way we approach goals, how perfectionism develops as a protective strategy, and what the evidence says about breaking the cycle. Available on The Hub: liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub

Aperio Profiles:

Neurodivergent-informed cognitive and personality profiling for individuals, managers, and HR. Not a diagnosis. A functional map of how your brain actually works.

aperioprofiles.co.uk



This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe
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