Mourning together

Can it be ok to mourn the loss that is not yet here? Can you use the time not to plan the after but to sit with the now? Can you know that you are not alone and that what you mourn is also a loss to others even if they don't give voice to that fact? I’ve probably said it before. I’m an anticipatory worrier. I worry constantly about things until they happen and once they happen, I quickly move into response mode. And yet, we as a society have sayings like “Don’t borrow problems” that encourage us to ignore the problem until it’s a reality. That is never who I will be and, for a while at least, I thought it was something I needed to change. Today, I see it differently. I think it’s fine to mourn the loss of potential, to fear what might be. That said, I think the right response is not to try to make the fear not materialize but rather to sit with it and understand what it has to say to you. If what I fear comes to pass, I know I will not mourn it alone. And so, whatever may come, the connections I have will sustain me. As you read this I wonder: * What are you mourning that has not yet come to pass? * Who will mourn it with you if it ever happens? * Can you sit with the why of your mourning and see what it has to show you rather than raging against the dying of the light? I’m a future focused person and so I don’t do a lot of mourning about what has happened in the past. But I do mourn what may come and I’m working to use that as a force for internal change more than external action. As we close this week, can you look forward with confidence, not because everything will work out, but rather because you are loved? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit aconstantbecoming.substack.com