Self-Help Without Other People Is Just Selfish — and Here's the Science to Prove It | Dan Harris

Dan doesn't usually sit in the interviewee's chair — but when journalist and author Allison Gilbert invited him to speak at the 92nd Street Y as part of their Connected Lives series, he said yes. What followed was one of the more wide-ranging conversations Dan has had about his own practice, his own anxieties, and why he's become convinced that inner work divorced from relationships is just selfishness dressed up as self-care. The evening also included a guided loving-kindness meditation — metta practice — that Dan led live with the audience. They talked about: Why Dan thinks the meditation world's PR problem has shifted — it's no longer "this is weird hippie stuff," it's "I get it, but I personally can't do it" The upward spiral: how taking care of your mind improves your relationships, which improves your inner weather, which improves your relationships further — and the "toilet vortex" that runs in the opposite direction Free-range mindfulness: why brushing your teeth or standing in a grocery line can rewire your brain just like formal seated practice The self-compassion toolkit — Kristin Neff's three-step practice, distanced self-talk, and why putting your hand on your heart is "cheesy as f*ck" but actually works Joseph Goldstein's single best question for breaking an anxiety loop: "Is this useful?" Why micro-interactions — with your doorman, your barista, a stranger on the elevator — are one of the most underrated sources of happiness Allison Gilbert is a journalist, author, and co-author of The Joy of Connections. She's also designed an app to help people deepen the relationships they already have. She writes and speaks about human connection, grief, and resilience. Learn more at BeingMoreConnected.com. Get the 10% with Dan Harris app here Sign up for Dan's free newsletter here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Additional Resources: Check out Allison's new app at beingmoreconnected.com This episode is sponsored by: Notion: Learn more about how Notion can support your business, at notion.com/happier. To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris